NBA Refs Defend Bradley Beal's Comical, Insanely Obvious Travel
Late in the Wizards’ loss to the Pistons on Monday night, Bradley Beal took it to the rim. He gathered the ball, took…
You're Not Going To Believe This, But Ernie Grunfeld Said Something Very Dumb To Defend His Very Dumb Decisions
The Wizards, in their ongoing quest to be the most irrelevant American professional sports team, have now traded away…
One Week After Declaring They Would Not Trade Otto Porter, The Wizards Trade Otto Porter For A Pile Of Trash
Almost exactly one week ago, Wizards owner Ted Leonsis mocked the very notion of his team trading any of John Wall,…
John Wall Imperils Several Perfectly Fine Ligaments Threatening JuJu Smith-Schuster Over Injury Joke
Steelers wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster gave some very mild business to John Wall over the particulars of his latest…
John Wall Slipped On His Infected Heel That Had Bone Spurs And His Achilles Tendon Exploded And His Supermax Begins Next Year
Here is perhaps the grimmest news item of the NBA season, relayed by the Washington Wizards under the devastatingly…
Gregg Popovich Calls Timeout 16 Seconds Into The Game To Yell At His Players
On the first play of the game between the Spurs and Wizards, Washington forward Thomas Bryant set a pick for Bradley…
Pacers Fans, To Kelly Oubre Jr.: "John Wall Hates You"
The Washington Wizards are so richly and floridly toxic that it’s impossible to keep track of which of them want to…
John Wall's Busted Heel Has Officially Put The Wizards Out Of Their Misery
The Wizards, who are currently 14-24, have reached the point in their season when it’s more beneficial for them to…
The Rockets Might Be Back, Dammit
The Rockets set a new NBA single-game record for made three-pointers Wednesday night, in a 136–118 beatdown of the…
Nothing Means Anything, But John Wall Was Great Last Night
John Wall is still pretty good. It’s okay to have forgotten.
Suns And Wizards Get Their Shit Together Long Enough To Complete Trevor Ariza Trade
Well that didn’t take long.
An NBA Trade Just Fell Apart Because Someone Confused Two Guys Named Brooks
I am, admittedly, not the typical source of NBA information at Deadspin, let alone in the sports journalism universe…
Dopey Team Does Cool Thing
The Wizards, who are extremely butt, are beating the Knicks in New York Monday night. The Knicks are also extremely…
Dwight Howard Needs A Buttectomy
Okay, fine, probably it’s not a buttectomy. But it’s at least a buttotomy or a buttopsy. The butt pain that has kept…
Masin Elijé Is Still Talking About His Harassment Accusation Against Dwight Howard, But Almost No One Else Is
On Saturday night, Masin Elijé started a Twitter thread saying that he had dated Washington Wizards center Dwight…
The Rockets Are Short On Ideas
The Rockets lost on the road to the crummy Wizards Monday night, in overtime, by the score of 135–131. James Harden was…
The Wizards Are Like If A Sarlacc Took Up Residence Underneath A Burning, Flooded Carnival Outhouse, Per Reports
It’s all coming apart in Washington, and by “it” I mean a half-decade of trumped-up semi-relevance in which the team…
The Wizards Are No Longer A Basketball Team
If you have the stomach for it, pick a night when the Washington Wizards have a game at the same time as another game…
Dwight Howard Heckled By Arena Worker During Post-Game Free-Throw Practice
The hackneyed image of an NBA player taking time after an arena has emptied out to practice getting his shots up…
This Dwight Howard Shot Was A Crime Against Basketball
The pestilential Wizards lost last night, again, bringing their record this season to a pitiful 2-8. Terminally unfunny…