Pacers Fans, To Kelly Oubre Jr.: "John Wall Hates You"
The Washington Wizards are so richly and floridly toxic that it’s impossible to keep track of which of them want to…
John Wall's Busted Heel Has Officially Put The Wizards Out Of Their Misery
The Wizards, who are currently 14-24, have reached the point in their season when it’s more beneficial for them to…
The Rockets Might Be Back, Dammit
The Rockets set a new NBA single-game record for made three-pointers Wednesday night, in a 136–118 beatdown of the…
Nothing Means Anything, But John Wall Was Great Last Night
John Wall is still pretty good. It’s okay to have forgotten.
Suns And Wizards Get Their Shit Together Long Enough To Complete Trevor Ariza Trade
Well that didn’t take long.
An NBA Trade Just Fell Apart Because Someone Confused Two Guys Named Brooks
I am, admittedly, not the typical source of NBA information at Deadspin, let alone in the sports journalism universe…
Dopey Team Does Cool Thing
The Wizards, who are extremely butt, are beating the Knicks in New York Monday night. The Knicks are also extremely…
Dwight Howard Needs A Buttectomy
Okay, fine, probably it’s not a buttectomy. But it’s at least a buttotomy or a buttopsy. The butt pain that has kept…
Masin Elijé Is Still Talking About His Harassment Accusation Against Dwight Howard, But Almost No One Else Is
On Saturday night, Masin Elijé started a Twitter thread saying that he had dated Washington Wizards center Dwight…
The Rockets Are Short On Ideas
The Rockets lost on the road to the crummy Wizards Monday night, in overtime, by the score of 135–131. James Harden was…
The Wizards Are Like If A Sarlacc Took Up Residence Underneath A Burning, Flooded Carnival Outhouse, Per Reports
It’s all coming apart in Washington, and by “it” I mean a half-decade of trumped-up semi-relevance in which the team…
The Wizards Are No Longer A Basketball Team
If you have the stomach for it, pick a night when the Washington Wizards have a game at the same time as another game…
Dwight Howard Heckled By Arena Worker During Post-Game Free-Throw Practice
The hackneyed image of an NBA player taking time after an arena has emptied out to practice getting his shots up…
This Dwight Howard Shot Was A Crime Against Basketball
The pestilential Wizards lost last night, again, bringing their record this season to a pitiful 2-8. Terminally unfunny…
Boban Marjanovic Can Ferociously Dunk By Just Kinda Leaning Back
As a general rule, garbage time is unfun to watch—just a bunch of guys scrimmaging out in the public sphere, the actual…
Markieff Morris has been fined $15,000 for unsportsmanlike conduct by the NBA, for tugging on Seth Curry’s shorts…
Markieff Morris Shamelessly Yanks Seth Curry's Shorts From The Bench
With the Wizards and Trail Blazers tied in the final seconds of regulation, Portland had the last shot. Damian Lillard…
It's Just Always Gonna Be Like This For The Wizards
Dwight Howard hasn’t played yet. He’s out with, literally, a sore ass. The guy starting in his place, Ian Mahinmi, has…
Kristi Toliver Becomes First Active WNBA Player To Join NBA Coaching Staff
The Washington Wizards announced Tuesday that Washington Mystics guard Kristi Toliver would join the team’s staff as an…
Markieff Morris's Bad Temper Is In Mid-Season Form
My friends, the Morris twins are extremely back on their bullshit. Last week Marcus Morris took the bait when Tristan…