washington Page 105 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mike Shanahan Has A Poopy Face
Your morning roundup for Nov. 7, the day we learned why Europe is just better than America sometimes. Photo via D.C. Sports Bog. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Ron Washington Told The Rangers To "Motherfuck Golf" In An Expletive Laced Pre-Game Speech Before Game 7 Against The Cardinals
Hours after losing game 6 in dramatic fashion and moments before sending his team out on the field for a decisive game 7, Ron Washington delivered this expletive and NSFW laden pre-game speech. Audio via Joe Sports Fan. ...

Air National Guardsman Rappels From Rafters, Drops Ceremonial First Puck At Islanders Capitals Game
Feel free to ignore the "highlights" in the linked video, but do watch Staff Sgt. Matthew Zimmerman drop the puck between Washington Capitals' captain Alex Ovechkin and something called Mark Streit....

Michael Jordan The Player Would've Hated Michael Jordan The Hardline Owner
Over at SB Nation, Tom Ziller has compiled some of Michael Jordan's contradictory views on the NBA lockout. In a meeting during the '98 lockout, for example, Jordan the player told Wizards owner Abe Pollin, "If you can't make it work economically, you should sell the team." Ziller points out that in...

Even Criminal Lobbyist Jack Abramoff Lectured Dan Snyder About The Redskins Name, Likening It To "The New York Jew Boys"
Scumbag lobbyist and George Bush leg-humper Jack Abramoff has a self-serving book out called Capital Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist. In the book, which you should not buy, Abramoff details his relationship with Dan Snyder, whom Abramoff ...

Kevin Durant Is The New Redskins Quarterback...On A Trading Card
Kevin Durant's dominating performance at an intramural flag football game at Oklahoma State earlier this week has a lot of people asking "What if?" All of those people work for the Panini Group, the Italian collectibles giant that makes trading cards and bought Donruss two years ago. What if Durant ...

At 2:16 This Afternoon, John Beck Got Sacked Again
That's when the NFL sent out their weekly stat corrections, upping the number of times the Bills brought down Beck to 10. Nick Barnett and Danny Batten share credit....

<i>Of Course</i> Rex Grossman Is Mickey Rourke's Favorite Quarterback
When the world's ballsiest train wreck calls you "a train wreck with balls," you know you're doing something right, Rex. [Nerd Tears]...

Let's Watch Alex Ovechkin, Benched Late In Regulation, Call His Coach A "Fat Fuck"
Your morning roundup for Nov. 2, the day you wouldn't dare touch our Halloween candy if you knew what was up. Video of Ovechkin, which gets good at the 53-second mark, via 25stanley.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Bryce Harper Tebowing Feels Like The End Of Something
We declared Tebowing over on Friday, but it is somehow still limping along, enjoying the final tour before total meme death. Tebow himself got Tebowed over the weekend, and yesterday, The Chosen One gave it a turn....

Arizona Is Once Again Responsible For A Batshit Crazy Late-Night Play
Pac-12 football has long been the viewing domain of East Coast drunks and insomniacs, Midwestern degenerate gamblers looking to recover the day's losses, and Pacific coast... football fans. And it's often the home to the weird, the wild, and the stupid, which is exactly what happens here as Arizon...

The Rangers Should Probably Stop Intentionally Walking Albert Pujols
The Texas Rangers have walked Albert Pujols five times in the first six games of this World Series—all intentionally. Many of these walks are bad ideas! (And not just for the spiritual reasons elucidated of late by Josh Levin and Rob Neyer, among others.)...

Low-Level Sources Close To Pumpkin Ron Washington Say That Pumpkin Ron Washington Is Not Racist, Still Awaiting Word From Pumpkin
An email, received in 24-point font:...

Texas Pumpkins Accused Of Racism Over Ron Washington Blackface Costumes
Two Dallas-area pumpkins have caused a stir over their costume choices for local Halloween contests. The pumpkins, one from Irving-based 21st Century Dental (left) and the other a part of the Dawson & Sodd law firm in Corsicana (right), showed up to a statewide "pumpkin contest" dressed in the offen...

23-Year-Old NBA Player With One Losing Season Under His Belt Says He "Can Be Better Than Michael Jordan"
Jordan Crawford, the 23-year-old guard who has played in a single, 23-59 NBA season: "'I don't tell nobody, but I feel like I can be better than Michael Jordan,' Crawford said, without the slightest hint of sarcasm. 'When I'm done playing, I don't want people to say, Michael Jordan is the best playe...

Some Jackass Scammed At Least 25 Schools Out Of Thousands Of Dollars With The Promise Of NFL Players
If there's one thing kids are into these days, it's bullying each other. It would be nice if they would stop, but they won't listen to parents or teachers. It's scientifically proven that the only people kids will listen to are NFL players, preferably at a special schoolwide assembly. So when public...

Let's All Enjoy The National Barbecuing Of Tony La Russa
I love this image, and I love this play-by-play of a half-inning I will love forever....

Dan Snyder Does An Interview! (For His Own TV Show. With A Fifth Grader.)
The last time Dan Snyder subjected himself to the terrifying bright lights of a studio interview, it was June, and it was bullshit. Back then, he went on the D.C. affiliates of FOX and NBC and agreed to pretend that his flack, Tony Wyllie, hadn't planted every single question. It was so scripted t...

The Redskin Faithful Do Not Have Much Faith In John Beck
When the dust settled on the annual mid-season quarterback shuffle this past week, John Beck was the Washington Redskins' starter. That's John Beck, the formerly mulleted Mormon who has thrown more interceptions (3) than touchdowns (1) in his five NFL seasons....

This Evening: Just In Time For The World Series, The Ron Washington Pumpkin
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 19, the day we learned pregnant women don't want to give birth on Halloween. Photo of the (possibly fake?) Washington jack-o-lantern courtesy @lifeguardkyle, via @bigleaguestew. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....