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Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is frozen in amber so humans of the future can study the behavior of assholes in the 21st century. (For tho...

Rob Dibble Now Wants To Swaddle Stephen Strasburg In Warm Soft Blankets
A year ago at this time Rob Dibble was in the news for his contrarian opinions on Stephen Strasburg. Rob Dibble's in the news again for his contrarian opinions on Stephen Strasburg. Except this time it's the exact opposite contrarian opinion. What we're saying is, it's a good thing Strasburg's caree...

Dan Snyder Is Now Campaigning Against The Rights Of D.C. Residents To Govern Themselves
Dan Snyder's lawyers yesterday filed a brief in D.C. Superior Court as part of Snyder's dumbass legal jihad against the Washington City Paper. Snyder's lawsuit looks for all the world like a "strategic lawsuit against public participation." Even the ACLU thinks so. Such "SLAPP" suits are deployed by...

Nick Young Is An Unexpected Contender For The NBA's Premier Hipster
We've had some discussion in the Deadspin office today about the use of the word "hipster," and whether or not we can apply the term to Washington Wizards guard Nick Young, who scored 60 points in a Drew League game last night. Dickey claims that the term is too "fraught" and complicated to be so li...

Here's Video Of Some Unisex Fighting At Last Night's Mets-Nationals Game
The 15th second of this video is key. That's when a big dude's elbow sends a lady reeling....

A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Solely Of Media Descriptions
Awful Albert, Abysmal Albert: Attitude-afflicted wash-up. Massive and huge and fat and lazy and difficult....

Brian Orakpo Is A Company Man, Although He Probably Shouldn't Be
Brian Orakpo can't quite find the words he's looking for. But the words he did give us help explain why the players didn't get more in the just-ended labor standoff....

An Appreciation Of Kevin Manning, DC's Resident Boozy, One-Armed Tennis Prankster
Our man at the Washington City Paper, Dave McKenna, has written an appreciation of Kevin Manning, a DC-area tennis character who passed away from cancer earlier this year....

Is Alex Ovechkin Looking A Little Bloated?
Nah, probably just the posture, or the skintight shirt. Or his legendary offseason regimen. But it's got to be a little unsettling for Caps fans to have to be reassured: "Don't worry; I'm going to be in good shape." [Caps365]...

Trent Williams Will Soon Be Wearing A $150,000 Silverback Gorilla Chain In The Club
One of Dan Steinberg's readers directed him to a video (see below) in which a jeweler shows off one of the more absurdly blingy items a professional athlete has ever commissioned. It's a black-and-white diamond encrusted silverback gorilla chain for Redskins tackle Trent "Silverback" Williams. Supp...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part V: Return To River Bend
We already posted your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is nailed to a cross while dogs gnaw off its toes. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All...

Here's The Harry Potter-Referencing Legal Brief The ACLU Filed In The Dumbass Dan Snyder Libel Suit
The ACLU filed a brief yesterday in D.C. Superior Court slamming Dan Snyder for his dumbass libel lawsuit against the Washington City Paper and asking the court to toss out the case. D.C. councilmember Mary Cheh joined the brief, along with a raft of influential news organizations such as The Americ...

Baseball Game Interrupted By Man In Wedding Dress
Play was stopped at the Nationals-Braves game in Atlanta on Saturday evening so that police officers could take down a streaking fan in a wedding dress. This captivated the crowd and beguiled Davey Johnson....

The First Casualty Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit Might Be Dan Snyder's Dumbass Lawyer
Failed journalist and wretched lawyer Dave Donovan announced today that he's leaving his job as Chief Operating Officer of the Redskins to return to the law firm whence he came (and where, ostensibly, lawyers can actually convince clients not to file dumbass lawsuits). Donovan attributes his decisio...

Erotica Failed To Get Michael Morse Into The All-Star Game
Your morning roundup for July 8, the day Carl Monday struck fear into the hearts of the Steroid Cartels. Photo via tipster Kal....

There's A New Shawn Kemp In Town, Seattle
Shawn Kemp, Jr. (not pictured), a 6'9" center from Canton, Georgia has signed with the Washington Huskies and has already started classes at the university. It's not the Sonics, but it is a Kemp. [ESPN]...

The NBA Draft: Where Love Happens?
Jan Vesely, a 6-11 swingman from the Czech Republic, was selected sixth overall by the Washington Wizards in last night's NBA Draft. For any 21-year-old, the moment would have been special. You're on national television in a brand new suit, and you're about to become a millionaire. But Vesely and ...

Jim Riggleman Partied Away His Sorrows Last Night
There are very good arguments to be made on both sides of Jim Riggleman's stunning resignation from the Nationals yesterday. You could say that he's earned a contract extension, and you'd be right. You could say that he signed a contract and he should honor it, and you'd be right....

Crude Dick Joke, Or Another Nationals Typo?
Your morning roundup for June 22, the day we implored you to stand with the seals. Image via tipster BP (not me)....

Here's Video Of John Wall's Failed Attempt To Throw A Baseball More Than 30 Feet
When the Washington Nationals called on Wizards guard John Wall to throw out the ceremonial first pitch of yesterday's interleague game against the Baltimore Orioles, it was a decent nod to everybody within the same NBA market. When Wall threw the ball, though, it was an affront to physics and the...