washington Page 111 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Are All Dave McKenna XCII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets pegged into submission....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit has a chromium-toothed alien erupt from its intestines....

Wild Australian Horse Decides To Run Away From A Steeplechase Course And Over The Crowd
Your morning roundup for May 6, the day Willie Mays becomes an octogenarian....

We Are All Dave McKenna XC (Introducing Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Fiction)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dissected in a science class on stupidity. Today, we commence our Dan Snyder group fiction. Read an explanation here, if you haven't alr...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dumped in the drink so fanatics can't build a shrine to it....

Philly Gave Jayson Werth A Conflicted Standing Ovation Last Night
Jayson Werth, D.C.-area multi-millionaire, had his first at-bat at Citizens Park since the December 2010 deal last night. He was treated to a standing ovation of sorts, one that was one-part mostly-genuine strained clapping and one-part all-out disgusted booing (which quieted, slightly, when he ti...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Two second-round games tonight for your viewing pleasure: Caps and Lightning, which appears on your Versus right about now, and the Canucks and Preds, which will be on at nine, 10 p.m. Halifax time....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit lies gets double tapped by DEVGRU....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit lies down in darkness....

A Case Study In Incompetence: Dan Snyder's PR Guy, Tony Wyllie
Maybe you heard about the stunning display of asshattedness last week by Redskins proto-flack Tony Wyllie. The occasion: A University of Maryland College of Journalism “ethics in sports media” panel, to which Wyllie arrived late. Dan Snyder’s dumbass libel suit came up, at which point Wyllie offere...

Some Drunk Giants Players Got Into It With Drunk Capitals Fans At A Hockey Game
In town to play the Nationals, a few members of the San Francisco Giants took in the Lightning/Capitals game yesterday. According to a fan who was there, there was some good-natured ribbing going on with the next luxury box over, including Pat Burrell telling a screaming fan that the players on the ...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Master Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets coldly and effortlessly dismembered to send a message to anybody who thinks their money affords them the right to treat the legal syst...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit goes straight to Hell, where it belongs....

Young Man Wants You To Realize The Grizzlies Beating The San Antonio Spurs Is A Really Big Deal
Your morning roundup for April 30, the day we deal with Ouzo hangovers from George Kalpaxis and Julie Herrmannsdoerfer's lovely wedding....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass front office wastes a second-round pick on Dan Snyder's dumbass libel lawsuit, and then cuts it because it's even worse than Devin Thomas....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit realizes it has less balls than a castrato....

Today In Great Quotes
"I didn't touch her," Haynesworth responded, according to the document, adding that he doesn't "even like black girls." — Per ESPN, prosecutors filed paperwork in Superior Court in Washington saying that if football-player extraordinaire Albert Haynesworth agrees to plead guilty to simple assault t...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a dirt nap....

Livan Hernandez Is Wrapped Up In Puerto Rican Drug Dealer's Octopus Tentacles, Claims Awesome Graphic
Nationals pitcher and '97 World Series MVP Livan Hernandez is implicated in a case involving Puerto Rican drug kingpin Angel Ayala Vázquez (alternate titles: "Angelo Millones," "El Buster"). But he's not alone: El Vocero handily details all nine men compromised by the lawsuit and entangled in "los t...

Albert Haynesworth Allegedly Swiped His Credit Card In A Waitress's Cleavage
This and other details from Haynesworth's indictment on assault charges stemming from a February incident at a DC hotel restaurant. It's one of two pending cases against the soon-to-be-ex-Redskin, and carries the possibility of jail time. [AP]...