washington Page 118 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Albert Haynesworth: Barhopping Thursday, Late For Practice Friday, Suspended For Season Today
The photo here and email below is from a reader in the D.C. area who ran into the Redskins' headache-inducing defensive lineman Thursday at the American Tap Room. Remember, Haynesworth was benched for arriving one minute late to practice Friday morning....

Cliff Lee To The Nationals? Sure, Why Not.
These are baseball's first Winter Meetings where everyone has Twitter. This makes for more, earlier and juicier rumors. Like the one currently making the rounds that have the Washington Nationals throwing an ungodly sum of money at Cliff Lee....

Stumbly, Pot-Bellied Redskins Fan And Compatriot Receive Beating At Hands Of Other Redskins Fans
...and then the cops show up and everybody stands around for a few minutes before the person taping confirms that he recorded the whole thing....

Ryan Zimmerman's Wedding Dance Should Be The Next Dougie
The Nationals' non-Strasburg franchise player attended the wedding of a high school teammate over the weekend, and it was was of those "wacky" ceremonies where the wedding party has choreographed entrances. Zim didn't let them down....

Wilbon Leaving The Newspaper You'd Forgotten He Still Worked For
Mike Wilbon is leaving the Washington Post to devote more time to being a faintly tolerable presence on ESPN. The newspaper's memo is below....

Dan Snyder Makes Grandmothers Cry, And That's Just The Beginning Of It
Dave McKenna of the Washington City Paper has compiled an A-Z guide of all the things that make Redskins owner Dan Snyder awful. U is for "Unobstructed View: What Snyder wanted of the Potomac River from the back of his Montgomery County home."...

Last Night's Winner: Michael Vick, Obviously
That was just a spanking, wasn't it? And if you don't think Andy Reid and Marty Mornhinweg purposefully drew up a game plan that could have been codenamed "Our QB Is Better," then you must not have been paying attention....

MNF: Young, Underpaid Quarterback Is So Far Outperforming Older, Overpaid Quarterback
At the start of the second half in the capital, the Eagles are up 45-14. Here's your belated open thread....

You've Got To Be Shitting Me, Washington
Apparently Donovan McNabb just signed a 5-year extension with the Redskins. This is no "sorry 'bout benching you" empty gesture. There's $40 million guaranteed. Guhh....

Sean Avery And The Differences In Hockey Fights
The dichotomy of hockey fighting was made more apparent than usual yesterday. In one, John Erskine and Eric Boulton valiantly pummeled each other. In the other, Sean Avery acted like an asshole, sucker-punched a guy, and started a brawl....

Colin Cowherd Keeps Fucking That Chicken (UPDATE)
Yesterday, on the heels of John Wall's first career triple-double in his sixth career game, Colin Cowherd once again took to the airwaves to air his grievance about Wall's play. It was tasteful; he invoked Wall's dead dad and everything....

Gilbert Arenas Opens Up About Crapping In People's Shoes
In January, in a Gilbert Arenas feature for the Washington Post, Mike Wise and Michael Lee casually noted that Gil, a renowned locker room prankster, "once defecated in teammate Andray Blatche's shoe." It's brushed over pretty quickly and the article moves on....

Last Night's Winner: John Wall's Eventual, Inevitable Quintuple-Double
It took young Mr. Wall all of six games to put together his first career triple-double, a thing of beauty even against the hapless Rockets. He also had six steals. One day he'll put it all together with, yes, 10 turnovers....

Set Your Sights High, Wizards Fans
Owner Ted Leonsis: "Had we won a close game at home on Saturday, we would be playing on Wednesday for a .500 record...A 2-3 record would qualify for the playoffs if they started today." Dream the impossible dream, Washington. [Ted's Take]...

Potomac River-Based Sports Franchise Inadvertently Renamed
Well, it's either that or another example of egregious misspelling in the nation's capital....

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Two Top-10 matchups: TCU at Utah (um, "national championship" atmosphere?) and Alabama at LSU. Two Top-4 teams playing: Oregon hosts Washington and Boise State hosts Hawaii. And, Nebraska makes its last conference-rival visit to Iowa Fucking State....

Wizards Owner Will Dougie If A Game Sells Out
Ted Leonsis promises to emulate John Wall's Dougie if the Wiz have just one sellout. A sellout is not like making the playoffs or Andray Blatche earning his contract; this is a doable thing. [Ted's Take]...

Colin Cowherd's Asinine John Wall Rant, With Video Accompaniment
On Tuesday, John Wall played his first home game as a Washington Wizard. During his introduction, he came out to "Teach Me How To Dougie" and performed the accompanying dance. Colin Cowherd was less than thrilled because Colin Cowherd is an asshole....

Big And Li'l Wash's Bender Continued On Into The Night
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Let The Pouty Donovan McNabb Show Begin!
Almost always liked Donovan McNabb while an Eagle despite realizing, early on, that he was the king of pouty, passive-aggressive, veiled digs at people - disguised as saying "the right thing" - when he didn't get his way....