washington Page 120 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Strasmas Is Canceled
Well, ain't this a kick in the teeth? Sometimes you can do everything right, and have it all go wrong. That's the story of DC, and the story of baseball....

Last Night's Winner: Bryce Harper's Accelerated Destiny
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those poor bastards in Washington. Sure their franchise savior might need Tommy John surgery, but they've got another one stashed away....

Strasburg Done For The Year, Probably 2011 Too
Stephen Strasburg has a torn elbow ligament, and will likely require Tommy John surgery, which usually takes more than a year to heal. Sucks for the Nats' 2011 season ticket sales office....

Either Rob Dibble's On Double Secret Suspension, Or He Has Great Comic Timing
Rob Dibble, fresh off trashing Stephen Strasburg for begging off a start, will miss calling the next two Nats games....

Jackie Robinson Statue At Nationals Park Busted Up By Tacklers
Brian Birrer made a statue of Jackie Robinson and took it to D.C. for the Nationals' Jackie Robinson Day. Several thousand dollars of damage occurred when it was tackled and now the Nationals are giving him the run around....

Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News
"Warner has talked to movie producers interested in making Warner's life story. Kurt's wife Brenda wants Denzel Washington play the lead." That concludes Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News. [Pro Football Talk, H/T Disco Choo]...

Why Is There A Nationals Cap In The Original <em>Karate Kid</em>?
The movie came out in 1984, 20 years before the not-yet-extant Nationals unveiled their "curly W" logo. Time traveler? Or something more benign? Probably time traveler....

What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Donovan McNabb Has A Small Child In His Locker
Click to view Don't call Chris Hansen; Chris Cooley put it there to leap out and scare McNabb after the new QB finishes up with the media. Spoiler alert: it works. [Cooley Zone]...

Nationals Pitcher Shaves Mustache, Gains Ability To Pitch
Collin Balester was having trouble. He had a great mustache, but he wasn't pitching well at all. He had beaned Rickie Weeks and Mark Reynolds in the head. He needed to make a radical change. The mustache, unfortunately, would have to go....

Some Good Comes Out Of Albert Haynesworth's Unathleticsm
Free ice cream for everyone in Bethesda, Md., if Albert Haynesworth can pass his conditioning test....

Weekend Winner: Media Members In Better Shape Than Albert Haynesworth
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like various DC-area media members, who took a shot at completing the Redskins' conditioning test that the disgruntled Haynesworth has been unable to pass....

Strasburg Usurper Manages To Offend Beauty Queen
Miguel Batista managed to offend hundreds of Washington D.C. baseball game attendees Tuesday when he had the gall to make a spot start in place of D.C.'s Lord and Savior, the very much injured Stephen Strasburg. Then he went and dissed Iowa....

Steve Sarkisian Taunts Lane Kiffin With Cellphone Picture
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone's favorite embattled college football coach: Lane Kiffin....

Is Bryce Harper's Facebook Page Real?
The Washington Post asks the same question, but Harper's page appears to be so good it has to be a parody. Whoever it is, they sure love putting exclamation points and various : ) emoticons in their updates. Maybe he's a 13-year-old girl?...

Attention Nationals Fans: You Don't Deserve Stephen Strasburg (Disappointed Newlywed Update)
I don't mean that in some kind of larger, cosmic sense. I just mean that if you came out to the ballpark Tuesday, expecting to see Strasburg pitch, the team doesn't owe you anything after scratching him from his start....

Capitals Stand By Their Man ... Unless He's a Junkie
When Joshua Robertson was 18, the Washington Capitals picked him in the fifth round of the NHL draft. When he was 25, the Whitman (Mass.) Police rounded him up for an admittedly heroin-fueled burglary streak....

Ohio Governor Takes His Authoritarian Jackboot Off The Neck Of Live Tiger Mascot
Obie the Massillon tiger is saved! Gov. Ted Strickland announced yesterday he "will ensure the rules allow for the established mascot programs to continue," which means Obie will be free do whatever it is a caged sideline tiger does....

Ohio Governor Tramples Small Town's Right To Have A Live Freaking Tiger At High School Football Games
Massillon, Ohio, is under siege from Gov. Ted Strickland and the Humane Society of the United States over the town's tradition of stockpiling tigers for use as mascots during Massillon Washington High School football games. The indignation is palpable!...

Baltimore Radio Guy Loses His Mind Over John Riggins
Riggins has a new show on MASN, and to hype it up, he filmed a commercial at a generic football field. Problem is, it's not so generic: it's M&T Bank Stadium, home of the Ravens....