washington Page 121 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Strasburg Usurper Manages To Offend Beauty Queen
Miguel Batista managed to offend hundreds of Washington D.C. baseball game attendees Tuesday when he had the gall to make a spot start in place of D.C.'s Lord and Savior, the very much injured Stephen Strasburg. Then he went and dissed Iowa....

Steve Sarkisian Taunts Lane Kiffin With Cellphone Picture
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone's favorite embattled college football coach: Lane Kiffin....

Is Bryce Harper's Facebook Page Real?
The Washington Post asks the same question, but Harper's page appears to be so good it has to be a parody. Whoever it is, they sure love putting exclamation points and various : ) emoticons in their updates. Maybe he's a 13-year-old girl?...

Attention Nationals Fans: You Don't Deserve Stephen Strasburg (Disappointed Newlywed Update)
I don't mean that in some kind of larger, cosmic sense. I just mean that if you came out to the ballpark Tuesday, expecting to see Strasburg pitch, the team doesn't owe you anything after scratching him from his start....

Capitals Stand By Their Man ... Unless He's a Junkie
When Joshua Robertson was 18, the Washington Capitals picked him in the fifth round of the NHL draft. When he was 25, the Whitman (Mass.) Police rounded him up for an admittedly heroin-fueled burglary streak....

Ohio Governor Takes His Authoritarian Jackboot Off The Neck Of Live Tiger Mascot
Obie the Massillon tiger is saved! Gov. Ted Strickland announced yesterday he "will ensure the rules allow for the established mascot programs to continue," which means Obie will be free do whatever it is a caged sideline tiger does....

Ohio Governor Tramples Small Town's Right To Have A Live Freaking Tiger At High School Football Games
Massillon, Ohio, is under siege from Gov. Ted Strickland and the Humane Society of the United States over the town's tradition of stockpiling tigers for use as mascots during Massillon Washington High School football games. The indignation is palpable!...

Baltimore Radio Guy Loses His Mind Over John Riggins
Riggins has a new show on MASN, and to hype it up, he filmed a commercial at a generic football field. Problem is, it's not so generic: it's M&T Bank Stadium, home of the Ravens....

Stephen Strasburg Saves The Collectible Crap Industry
Stephen Strasburg already has an autographed Washington Nationals baseball card somehow, although I'm going to guess the $1 jillion eBay offer is not a "serious" bid. It's easily worth twice that! [eBay]...

Albert Haynesworth Continues To Out-Haynesworth Himself
It seems that the NFL's most well-paid defensive lineman finds playing defensive lineman to be an unreasonable job requirement and wants to be traded—even though his stupidly gargantuan contract makes that impossible....

Bob Costas Feeds The Strasburg Hype Machine
Stephen Strasburg was pretty amazing in his major league debut last night, but that didn't stop baseball's self-appointed dream weaver from pumping up the superhero rhetoric even further—while simultaneously blaming others for their flights of fancy....

Did MLB Network Predict Josh Willingham's Home Run?
Yes, he's the real deal and we'll have more on that later, but did anybody else notice this goof-up/incredible called shot from the boys in the truck?...

Stephen Strasburg: Let Them Know It's Strasmas Time
The Washington Nationals' Band-Aid, Stephen Strasburg, makes his Major League debut tonight against the anemic Pittsburgh Pirates. He's expected to throw three no-hitters, hit five home runs, and save numerous cats from numerous trees....

Bryce Harper Completes Washington Nationals
High school dropout Bryce Harper and his dumb face paint are heading to Washington. Might as well start him tomorrow night and get it all over with. [Live draft updates @ MLB.com, Pic: AP]...

Nationals Fans Upset About Being Forced To Watch Nationals Game
Next Friday's home game at Nationals Park is the hottest ticket in D.C. Unfortunately, it's still just a regular ol' June game against the Reds and not the big league debut of Stephen Strasburg. By the way, no rain checks!...

Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut
Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko]...

Last Night's Winner: The Wizards, Somehow
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Wizards, who, despite long odds, left the annual Secaucus Bingo Night and Bad Suit Competition with the rights to try and not screw up John Wall....

And Your No. 1 NBA Draft Pick Goes To ... The Wizards
Sorry, John Wall. Washington leapfrogs four teams to get the No. 1 slot. My vague, unverifiable prediction: The Nets will be glad for this in the long run, I think....

Obvious, Yet Cringe-Inducing Hockey Article Of The Week
The Globe and Mail's James Mirtle wrote a piece this weekend on the potentially catastrophic effects of mouth injuries in the NHL and the "walk-it-off" culture surrounding them. Who's ready to grimace and suck their teeth in fear?...

Secret Of Nats Success? Pretend They're The Rays
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....