washington Page 122 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stephen Strasburg: Let Them Know It's Strasmas Time
The Washington Nationals' Band-Aid, Stephen Strasburg, makes his Major League debut tonight against the anemic Pittsburgh Pirates. He's expected to throw three no-hitters, hit five home runs, and save numerous cats from numerous trees....

Bryce Harper Completes Washington Nationals
High school dropout Bryce Harper and his dumb face paint are heading to Washington. Might as well start him tomorrow night and get it all over with. [Live draft updates @ MLB.com, Pic: AP]...

Nationals Fans Upset About Being Forced To Watch Nationals Game
Next Friday's home game at Nationals Park is the hottest ticket in D.C. Unfortunately, it's still just a regular ol' June game against the Reds and not the big league debut of Stephen Strasburg. By the way, no rain checks!...

Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut
Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko]...

Last Night's Winner: The Wizards, Somehow
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Wizards, who, despite long odds, left the annual Secaucus Bingo Night and Bad Suit Competition with the rights to try and not screw up John Wall....

And Your No. 1 NBA Draft Pick Goes To ... The Wizards
Sorry, John Wall. Washington leapfrogs four teams to get the No. 1 slot. My vague, unverifiable prediction: The Nets will be glad for this in the long run, I think....

Obvious, Yet Cringe-Inducing Hockey Article Of The Week
The Globe and Mail's James Mirtle wrote a piece this weekend on the potentially catastrophic effects of mouth injuries in the NHL and the "walk-it-off" culture surrounding them. Who's ready to grimace and suck their teeth in fear?...

Secret Of Nats Success? Pretend They're The Rays
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ted Leonsis: Greatest Owner Ever?
As his first act as owner of the Wizards (and the Verizon Center), Leonsis will take down the Washington Mystics' attendance banners. All the Mystics fans will be chartering a single Volkswagen Golf to drive to the protest. [Ted's Take]...

The "Andrei Kirilenko's Yearly Free Pass Watch" Reaches DEFCON-2
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Athlete Wives Are Just Regular Gals, <em>Washington Post</em> Keeps Reporting
The Post gives the wives of the Capitals the same incisive treatment it gave the wives of the Nationals last year. Noted: "They're striking, yes! But, in a regular kind of way." [Washington Post]...

Jason Campbell Traded to the Raiders, LenDale White and Leon Washington Go to the Seahawks
Said Campbell to ESPN: "I talked to [Al] Davis, and he... wants me to help their team to a new level." Presumably Davis meant the 9th level, so he can take over for Lucifer in a frozen lake of ice....

Caps' Player Removes Own Tooth
After catching a stick in the maw during Friday's game against the Habs, Eric Belanger performed a little self-dentistry. He then entered into a gentleman's agreement with Kevin Kennedy to divvy up our girlfriends....

Warning: The Washington Nationals Do Not Advocate Lady Punching
Despite the obviously incomplete picture portrayed in this fraction of a drawing, the Washington Nationals baseball club would like officially go on the record as being against slugging unsuspecting women in the back of the head. That's a relief....

Fans Oddly Excited To Meet Guy Impersonating Capitals Owner
Not happy with Washington's lackluster first round so far? Blame this guy who sort of looks like Ted Leonsis. [DC Sports Bog/Ted's Take]...

It's Domestic Violence Night At Nationals Park
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogs to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Biggest Supporters Around
To conclude one of the boobsiest days in Deadspin history, here's this picture of some strategically placed fans/cameramen at last night's Thunder-Jazz and Penguins-Capitals trackmeets. Mutton wins again. H/t Eric and Patrick....

McNabb Now Officially A Redskin And The Eagles Are Now Officially Demolished
The longest tenured Philadelphia Eagle right now is safety, Quintin Mikell, who has been with the team since 2003....

Donovan McNabb Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Redskins quarterback (wow) Donovan McNabb, who stole a busy weekend show when he suddenly turned the tables on Philadelphia and became Bizarro Brett Favre....

Redskins Have The Strangest Backfield Ever
Washington signs Willie Parker, planning to run the exclusive three-RB formation, in which he, Portis and Johnson line up, only to watch Jason Campbell doink the ball into the turf four yards from the line of scrimmage. [AP]...