washington Page 124 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Zorn Nonentity
As I write this, the Redskins are playing for pride and their jobs...and are struggling against Billy Volek and the Charger subs. It's time for Jim Zorn to pay the piper....

Gilbert Arenas Is Just Unloading About EVERYTHING On Twitter Right Now
Spurred by the "media outside his house," the Wizards' eccentric guard accused of pulling a gun on his teammate, is sharing some candid thoughts about that — and the rumors about Shaq sleeping with his fiancee. It's quite a show....

Gilbert Arenas And Teammate In Gun Standoff (UPDATE)
It's barely 2010 and already this year has exceeded my expectations: Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas reportedly drew a fucking gun on teammate Javaris Crittenton, who did likewise. From the NY Post:...

Dan Snyder, Genius
The Redskins make more money than any other professional sports franchise. This comes as disappointing news to Washington fans who secretly hoped the team would move and they could start over. [Newsweek]...

Of Ridiculous Contracts And Insubordination
The two highest paid players in their respective sports threw hissy fits and were sent home. One will play today; one might not play again. Want to guess which is which? (Hint: the one who's actually still good will play.)...

Tiger Woods and Mike Wise Cheated on People. Have You?
"I am Tiger Woods," writes Mike Wise in a bracing column in today's Washington Post, "and I have poked fun at his travails because I use humor as camouflage." Not anymore....

Armed Agent Zero Confuses Wizards With Bullets
We interrupt your Christmas caroling for this: Gilbert Arenas is under NBA investigation for stashing firearms in his locker. Apparently, that might violate the league's gun policy. Plus, Washington D.C. owns strict anti-gun laws. What's the excuse?...

This Is Not How A Human Leg Is Supposed To Bend (Update)
Gruesome, gruesome injury for Texas A&M guard Derrick Roland tonight....

Redskins Owner Surprisingly Tone Deaf on Issue of Racial Sensitivity
White guy Dan Snyder fired white guy Vinny Cerrato and immediately replaced him with white guy Bruce Allen, so that he can bring in either white guy Mike Shanahan or THIS (white) GUY Jon Gruden. Isn't there some rule...?...

Vinny Cerrato Gets In One Last Zinger On His Way Out The Door
This morning's winner is apparently the Redskins fans who have finally managed to chase away one half of the dynamic duo that's ruining their lives. Of course, the Joker killed Robin and that didn't stop Batman from kicking his ass....

Follow In Flip Saunders' Footsteps, If That's What You Want To Do With Your Life
ESPN is teaming up with the Wizards to allow you to design an inbounds play for them. If your submission doesn't immediately lead to a turnover, they'll probably name you head coach. [ESPN]...

Late Game Open Thread: A Whole Lot Of Yuck
Team That Makes Old Ladies Sad v. Team Run By A Sad Old Lady; Rejuvenated Vince Young v. Reanimated Kyle Boller; Holding Romos v. Litigious Merrimans, etc. #nflforums [NFL.com]...

I Am No Longer Governed By Human Emotions
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Gilbert Arenas Makes A Mockery Of Twitter
Agent Zero refuses to start Twittering until he has a million followers. Uh, Gil, that's not how you do it. Actually, you know what? Twitter's stupid and everyone on it is stupid and this will probably work. [DC Sports Bog]...

A Little Holier-Than-Thou From Someone Who Handles Pigskin Every Week, Don't You Think?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Desperate Redskins Fans Export Angry Sign Holding Jobs
Since Generalissimo Snyder has banned all forms of public expression with his eyesight, Washington fans who wished to mock him were forced to drive to Atlanta just to put bags over their head and look sad....

Your Late Games Open Thread
No one disputes Dan Snyder's lack of football acumen, but John Riggins goes so far as to call him "a bad guy." While maybe not a war criminal, the Skins' season ought to be called the new Trail of Tears....

English Language 1, Washington Fans 0
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

What Terrible Football Organization Will You Be Protesting This Weekend?
Are you a football fan? Then there's a good chance your favorite team sucks. Sorry. But if you really want people to feel your pain, you'll organize some sort of protest of upper management, because that always makes things better....

I Know It's Preseason, But — Le Moyne?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....