washington Page 125 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We've Got A Rogue Hogette On The Loose
You know about the Redskins' porcine cross-dressers' club. But did you know they're very exclusive? This is the strangest Redskins story you'll read all...day. Maybe....
Danny Snyder Doesn't Like Your Heartfelt Signage
Dan Steinberg found this in a trash can outside FedEx Field, where pretty much every form of human expression has been banned. It's clear: Dan Snyder is just a moustache and a pogrom or two short of being Joseph Stalin....
Beer In The Bathroom: The Circle Of Life
Drew mentioned this earlier, but it bears further examination. The Redskins are selling beer in FedExField bathrooms? Holy crap, that's awesome. And unsanitary....
Redskins Season Quickly Devolving Into Roland Emmerich Film
Oh, man. This Washington Redskins season. Let this be a lesson to you other teams: if you're not gonna contend for the playoffs, please have the courtesy to implode in the most hilarious manner possible....
The Nationals Should Give This Guy Season Tickets For Life
Great story from Captain Steinberg, still exiled in Bogville, about a Nationals fan who saw 19 home games for D.C.'s awful baseball team this year — and they managed to lose every single one of them....
Humiliated Redskins Fan Spared Humiliating Death
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Boomer Promotes 'Breast Awareness Sunday'
I think Chris Berman might have left out a pretty crucial word in there somewhere. Oh well, the important thing is the awareness. And it's on display all over the league....
Nationals Set To Make History, Fail As Usual
Without the divine intervention of the Royals, Washington would have gone wire-to-wire on ESPN's power rankings. Guess which end of the wire. [ESPN.com]...
It's Business As Usual For Insane Wizards
Nick Young thinking he's James Brown. Mike James barking like a dog. The entire team Hula'ing invisible hoops. Yes, there was a hypnotist at training camp, but no one would be shocked if there hadn't been. [WaPo]...
A DeShawn Stevenson Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand
The Wizards guard spent the offseason getting a bizarre Abraham Lincoln tattoo on his neck. (It's like redefining the "neckbeard.") He also got a backward Pirates logo on his face. I'm sure it made sense at the time. [WashTimes/TruthAboutIt]...
And Speaking Of Winning Organizations...
The Washington Nationals held a everything-must-go! charity auction over the weekend which included autographed baseballs from the likes of Wily Mo Pena and Ray King. [NationalsEnquirer]...
The Detroit Lions Win The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Detroit Lions, who won the weekend by not being friends with Tom Cruise. Detroit City is fixed!...
Dimwit Redskins Fans Don't Like Dimwit Who Called Them Dimwits
Today's idiotic Twitter war is brought to you by the Washington Redskins and their fans, who booed their own team during a less than inspiring 9-7 win over St. Louis, then were insulted by linebacker Robert Henson. Wait, who?...
The 2009 Washington Nationals: A Season Of Bigger Failure
Despite appearances, the New York Mets are not baseball's worst team. That honor belongs to the Washington Nationals, a organization whose legendary incompetence should be memorialized on the marble arches of the great city that wishes they played elsewhere....
Nationals Hat A Terrorist Symbol Now
Would you associate this logo with evil? With soul-crushing sorrow, and with everything that is bad and wrong in the world? Of course you would. But terrorism?...
Alexander Ovechkin Takes His Wii Very Seriously
Alexander Ovechkin stopped traffic yesterday so he could drive a Zamboni down Manhattan's Sixth Avenue and then school me in some video game hockey. Not as fun as doing 180 with Rachel Nichols riding shotgun, but it was only Wednesday....
Nationals Manager Says Baseball Isn't "Physically Taxing"
Interim Washington manager Jim Riggleman doesn't want to hear about late-season blues wearing his team down, because baseball isn't even that hard to begin with. Especially when you play it the Washington Nationals way!...
Michael Wilbon's Untapped Thoughts Are Now Worldwide
Watch as anti-blogivist Michael Wilbon tackles high-minded issues on his new WaPo page (not a blog!). In addition to opining on sports and social issues, he also slips on a cyber velvet robe anddishes dating advice as well. [TheBigLead]...
The Washington Redskins Will Sue Your Grandmother Into Bankruptcy
A recent Washington Post story mentioned that the Redskins have been suing season ticket holders who backed out of their onerous seat contracts. Apparently that story wasn't sad enough, so here's a picture of a crying grandma Daniel Snyder bankrupted....
Redskins Cut Out Middle Man, Sell Directly To Scalpers
Did I say "scalpers"? That's so politically incorrect! I meant that "brokers" are the ones allowed to buy blocks of tickets from that team with a racial slur nickname, instead of the fans on their notoriously long waiting list....