washington Page 125 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Business As Usual For Insane Wizards
Nick Young thinking he's James Brown. Mike James barking like a dog. The entire team Hula'ing invisible hoops. Yes, there was a hypnotist at training camp, but no one would be shocked if there hadn't been. [WaPo]...
A DeShawn Stevenson Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand
The Wizards guard spent the offseason getting a bizarre Abraham Lincoln tattoo on his neck. (It's like redefining the "neckbeard.") He also got a backward Pirates logo on his face. I'm sure it made sense at the time. [WashTimes/TruthAboutIt]...
And Speaking Of Winning Organizations...
The Washington Nationals held a everything-must-go! charity auction over the weekend which included autographed baseballs from the likes of Wily Mo Pena and Ray King. [NationalsEnquirer]...
The Detroit Lions Win The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Detroit Lions, who won the weekend by not being friends with Tom Cruise. Detroit City is fixed!...
Dimwit Redskins Fans Don't Like Dimwit Who Called Them Dimwits
Today's idiotic Twitter war is brought to you by the Washington Redskins and their fans, who booed their own team during a less than inspiring 9-7 win over St. Louis, then were insulted by linebacker Robert Henson. Wait, who?...
The 2009 Washington Nationals: A Season Of Bigger Failure
Despite appearances, the New York Mets are not baseball's worst team. That honor belongs to the Washington Nationals, a organization whose legendary incompetence should be memorialized on the marble arches of the great city that wishes they played elsewhere....
Nationals Hat A Terrorist Symbol Now
Would you associate this logo with evil? With soul-crushing sorrow, and with everything that is bad and wrong in the world? Of course you would. But terrorism?...
Alexander Ovechkin Takes His Wii Very Seriously
Alexander Ovechkin stopped traffic yesterday so he could drive a Zamboni down Manhattan's Sixth Avenue and then school me in some video game hockey. Not as fun as doing 180 with Rachel Nichols riding shotgun, but it was only Wednesday....
Nationals Manager Says Baseball Isn't "Physically Taxing"
Interim Washington manager Jim Riggleman doesn't want to hear about late-season blues wearing his team down, because baseball isn't even that hard to begin with. Especially when you play it the Washington Nationals way!...
Michael Wilbon's Untapped Thoughts Are Now Worldwide
Watch as anti-blogivist Michael Wilbon tackles high-minded issues on his new WaPo page (not a blog!). In addition to opining on sports and social issues, he also slips on a cyber velvet robe anddishes dating advice as well. [TheBigLead]...
The Washington Redskins Will Sue Your Grandmother Into Bankruptcy
A recent Washington Post story mentioned that the Redskins have been suing season ticket holders who backed out of their onerous seat contracts. Apparently that story wasn't sad enough, so here's a picture of a crying grandma Daniel Snyder bankrupted....
Redskins Cut Out Middle Man, Sell Directly To Scalpers
Did I say "scalpers"? That's so politically incorrect! I meant that "brokers" are the ones allowed to buy blocks of tickets from that team with a racial slur nickname, instead of the fans on their notoriously long waiting list....
Chris Cooley Opens Up About Jim Zorn And Other Things
"He does not like short shorts; I was directly made aware of that. But it's not like he's a jerk about it. He'll just talk to you." [Washingtonian]...
They Lost The 'Devil,' But The Rays Are Still Goth
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Even The Wives Of Nationals Players Are Miserable This Year
On Sunday, the NY Post did a shlocky rundown of the Yankee queen bees. WaPo did a similar piece on the DC baseball wives, who are far less glamorous and happy. [WaPo]...
Why Your Team Sucks: Washington Redskins
Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins and Chris Cooley's wife. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Betts, Bettis ... Whatever It Takes
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Nationals' Unexpected Success Sends <em>Washington Post</em> Into A Fugue State
The lede to yesterday's game story: "In the coda of the Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor, composer Johann Sebastian Bach repeats the same chord sequence over and over again, leading the listener to anticipate one resolution ..." [Washington Post]...
Alexander Ovechkin Is Here To Do Two Things: Play Hockey And Sex Your Women
And hockey season is over. Russia Today gets to the bottom Alex Ovechkin's life, complete with helpful on-screen guides. Revelations: He's ugly, sadness makes him cry, and sex is good. You're welcome. [Puck Duddy]...