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![Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pu9hzqspmmhcfjy4yqes.png)
Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]
A strange thing happened in the top of the fifth inning of the first game of today’s Nationals-Phillies doubleheader. Nationals’ rookie catcher Spencer Kieboom spit out a tooth (or possibly a chunk of tooth?) on his way to the plate for his second at-bat of the day....

Never Forget Dan Snyder's "Fifth Anniversary Of 9/11" Skins Caps
Today marks the 12th anniversary of Dan Snyder selling five-year anniversary 9/11 memorabilia for profit....

Breaking: The Charles E. Smith Center Jumbotron
Dear the small person doing the surrender cobra near the precariously tilted chunk of Jumbotron: It’s going to be okay....

Philly's Grounds Crew Uses Flamethrowers To Dry Wet Field, HAS FLAMETHROWERS
Monday night’s scheduled Nationals-Phillies game was postponed when the Philadelphia grounds crew couldn’t get the field ready for play, despite there being no significant rain at game-time. The issue, it turns out, came down to heavier than expected rain over the weekend, or possibly a miscalculati...

Washington And ESPN Are Being Whiny Little Babies About An Announcer's Tweet
Following University of Washington’s 21-16 loss to Auburn two weeks ago, ESPN announcer Mark Jones accurately tweeted that the team “took one on the chin.” He also wrote, “Where’s Montana?” referencing an ESPN broadcast from last season when the Huskies were lightly ribbed for having a “cupcake” non...

God Bless The Capitals' Party Dummies For Partying Harder Than Any Team Is Allowed To Ever Again
After 44 years without a championship, the Washington Capitals nabbed the franchise’s first Stanley Cup in June. And then they partied about it. They partied, you guys....

The Good-For-Nothing Nationals Came Within One Lousy Run Of The Rare All-69 Trifecta
The Nationals beat the Cardinals by one run in extras on Labor Day. Who gives a shit, right? The Nationals are junk. The loss could matter to the Cardinals in their pursuit of an NL Wild Card, but that is not why we are here. We are here for this:...

Elena Delle Donne Balled The Fuck Out On One Leg To Keep The Mystics' Postseason Alive
A standout playoff performance from a former MVP in a do-or-die game isn’t exactly outside of the realm of normalcy—but it is if that player only has one knee at full strength....

Elena Delle Donne Will Somehow Start Game 4 After Nasty Knee Injury
Elena Delle Donne is listed as a starter for the Washington Mystics in their do-or-die Game 4 semifinal matchup against the Atlanta Dream Sunday afternoon. I am sure you will join me in saying please don’t make me watch the video of her knee bending backwards like al dente linguine again....

Gio González Takes A Break From Weeping To Reassure Brewers PR People: "But I'm Happy! I Am Happy."
The Nationals traded lefty starter Gio Gonzalez to the Milwaukee Brewers on Friday, the last day that players can move between teams and remain eligible to play in the postseason. Gonzalez has been in Washington since 2012; during that time he’s gotten married, had a couple kids, and entrenched hims...

Mark Reynolds Punctuates Meltdown By Throwing Batting Gloves At Umpire
Nationals international man of mystery Mark Reynolds was displeased by a called strike three in the top of the eighth inning in Tuesday night’s game against the Phillies, when umpire Sam Holbrook rang him up on an 0–2 outside fastball after an enthusiastic frame-up by Phillies catcher Jorge Alfaro. ...

Elena Delle Donne Had An Awful Knee Injury At The Worst Possible Time
Elena Delle Donne was killing it for the Washington Mystics tonight, following up a destructive Game 1 by putting up 27 points, 14 boards, and six assists in Game 2 of her team’s series against the Atlanta Dream....

<i>Washington Post</i> Op-Ed: John McCain Will Haunt Donald Trump Into Defeat From The Mirror Dimension
An increasingly prominent part of my life in 2018 is the urge to grab and cling onto anything that seems, even a little bit, like it might be the thing that Finally Defeats Donald Trump. No small portion of my day is spent managing my relationship to that urge, struggling against its downward pull, ...

The Athletic Fails To Raid The <i>Washington Post</i> Sports Desk
The Athletic, the venture capital-backed digital sports media venture that’s plundering sportswriters from news organizations all over the country and has said it wants to brutally kill newspapers, finally announced on Monday that it is turning its gaze to Washington, D.C. The company’s voracious r...

The Nationals Finally Throw In The Towel
After spending the trade deadline waffling and coming out the other side without buying nor selling to any important degree, the Nationals have finally begun their fire sale. ...

Washington Thinks The Solution To Their Running Back Problem Is Adrian Peterson (It's Not)<em></em>
Washington has solved their running back problem the same way they solved their quarterback problem: by picking up an old guy. After losing second-round pick Derrius Guice to a torn ACL, then watching both of his backups get hurt, Washington needed some help in the backfield. I’m not really sure if ...

Maybe The Nationals Really Are As Much Of A Mess As That Anonymous Player Said
The Nationals are now dead, much as they have died many times before this season, but this time it’ll really take, coming as it did at the humiliating hands of the Marlins. So it’s time for postmortems! Here’s a good Washington Post story containing the anecdote that’ll come to define this lost year...

Stick All The Forks In These Losers
The Nationals got smoked Sunday afternoon, at home, by the garbage Marlins. Jose Ureña—yes, that fucking guy—pitched a dominant two-hitter for his first career complete game. Ureña, by the way, on top of being a shithead, is bad! He came into the game with a 3–12 record, and a crummy 4.74 ERA, and a...

Josh Norman Has The Right Idea But The Wrong Solution
Washington cornerback Josh Norman has a proposed fix for the NFL’s salary system: a cap on how much money quarterbacks can earn. “I would address the quarterback situation,” Norman told The Ringer’s Kevin Clark, “because they get gosh darn too much money.”...

Terrelle Pryor Is A Little Jumpy Around His Old Friends
After a disappointing season with Washington last year, current Jets wide receiver Terrelle Pryor is back practicing with his old teammates during a joint practice in Richmond, Va. They don’t seem particularly happy to see each other. ...