washington Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Conservative D.C. Is A Bunch Of Weird-As-Hell Nationals Fans
There’s no reason to know who Ben Hobbs is. He’s one of the anonymous ideology droids that fill Washington D.C.’s less-interesting condominiums, pad out its cocktail parties, and ensure that its steakhouse banquettes never get cold. When Republicans are in power, he will work in government; when the...

Add "Not Getting Ejected" To List Of Bryce Harper's Missed Goals For 2018
It’s been a shit year for Bryce Harper, measured against expectations, and even aside from the Nationals being an even bigger disappointment than usual. He came on in the second half, but he’s still gonna finish the year batting around or below .250, and with a growing reputation as a guy who can be...

Even Beer Vendors Have Turned On The Skins
Fans aren’t alone: Even beer vendors hate being inside Jack Kent Cooke’s Folly....

Washington State's Jason Gesser Resigns Amid Multiple Reports Of Sexual Misconduct
Former Washington State quarterback Jason Gesser resigned from his position as assistant athletic director Tuesday night, less than a week after the school’s student paper first uncovered a pattern of sexual misconduct that opened the floodgates for additional reports. ...

Maybe Stephen Strasburg Is Doing This On Purpose?
In his last start, back on Thursday, Stephen Strasburg managed to plunk all of Jorge Alfaro, Matt Wieters, and umpire Hunter Wendelstedt, all with one pitch. It was assumed at the time that this was a fluky accident, but maybe not! Maybe he’s doing this on purpose....

The Skins Didn't Sell Out Their Home Opener Because They Stink
Fresh off admitting that their 200,000-person season ticket waiting list never actually existed, Washington hosted the Indianapolis Colts in their home opener yesterday. The team’s stated 50-year home sellout streak has long been bunk, but if there was ever a time to see a big crowd at a Skins game,...

Alexander Ovechkin Gains Vitality From Booze
The Capitals are mostly pretty chill about the perception that they perhaps partied too hard after winning the Stanley Cup, and the fact that their boozy celebrations inspired new rules about the way champions are allowed to handle the Cup. Anyway, that’s the gist of an ESPN report that depicts the ...

Sensitive Umpire Laz Diaz Turns Baseball Game Into Extended Temper Tantrum
Home plate umpire Laz Diaz lost his mind in the middle innings of Friday night’s Nationals-Braves game. In the bottom of the fifth inning, with the Braves at bat, Diaz jumped up and started screaming at Bryce Harper, who was stationed 150 feet away, in center field. Diaz was pissed at Harper for exp...

Stephen Strasburg Plunked Three Guys With One Pitch
Efficiency is important for a starting pitcher, so give credit to Nationals right-hander Stephen Strasburg, who Wednesday night tagged hitter Jorge Alfaro, his own teammate Matt Wieters, and umpire Hunter Wendelstedt, all with one baseball....

Antonio Brown Apologizes For Threatening To Slug ESPN Writer Over Unflattering Profile
Last week Jesse Washington of The Undefeated published a story about Antonio Brown of the Steelers. It’s at once an especially 2018 kind of profile—the word “Instagram” appears 24 times, there are another three “’Grams,” and a further seven embedded Instagram posts—and a weirdly dissonant, pearl-cl...

The Skins Are About To Officially Lose Another Bullcrap Attendance Streak
The news in this Washington Post report is less that the Skins will fail to sell out their home opener against the Colts Sunday—their streak of sellouts has been illegitimate garbage for literally years—and more that the Skins have reached such a state of desperation that they’re finally revealing, ...
![Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pu9hzqspmmhcfjy4yqes.png)
Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]
A strange thing happened in the top of the fifth inning of the first game of today’s Nationals-Phillies doubleheader. Nationals’ rookie catcher Spencer Kieboom spit out a tooth (or possibly a chunk of tooth?) on his way to the plate for his second at-bat of the day....

Never Forget Dan Snyder's "Fifth Anniversary Of 9/11" Skins Caps
Today marks the 12th anniversary of Dan Snyder selling five-year anniversary 9/11 memorabilia for profit....

Breaking: The Charles E. Smith Center Jumbotron
Dear the small person doing the surrender cobra near the precariously tilted chunk of Jumbotron: It’s going to be okay....

Philly's Grounds Crew Uses Flamethrowers To Dry Wet Field, HAS FLAMETHROWERS
Monday night’s scheduled Nationals-Phillies game was postponed when the Philadelphia grounds crew couldn’t get the field ready for play, despite there being no significant rain at game-time. The issue, it turns out, came down to heavier than expected rain over the weekend, or possibly a miscalculati...

Washington And ESPN Are Being Whiny Little Babies About An Announcer's Tweet
Following University of Washington’s 21-16 loss to Auburn two weeks ago, ESPN announcer Mark Jones accurately tweeted that the team “took one on the chin.” He also wrote, “Where’s Montana?” referencing an ESPN broadcast from last season when the Huskies were lightly ribbed for having a “cupcake” non...

God Bless The Capitals' Party Dummies For Partying Harder Than Any Team Is Allowed To Ever Again
After 44 years without a championship, the Washington Capitals nabbed the franchise’s first Stanley Cup in June. And then they partied about it. They partied, you guys....

The Good-For-Nothing Nationals Came Within One Lousy Run Of The Rare All-69 Trifecta
The Nationals beat the Cardinals by one run in extras on Labor Day. Who gives a shit, right? The Nationals are junk. The loss could matter to the Cardinals in their pursuit of an NL Wild Card, but that is not why we are here. We are here for this:...

Elena Delle Donne Balled The Fuck Out On One Leg To Keep The Mystics' Postseason Alive
A standout playoff performance from a former MVP in a do-or-die game isn’t exactly outside of the realm of normalcy—but it is if that player only has one knee at full strength....

Elena Delle Donne Will Somehow Start Game 4 After Nasty Knee Injury
Elena Delle Donne is listed as a starter for the Washington Mystics in their do-or-die Game 4 semifinal matchup against the Atlanta Dream Sunday afternoon. I am sure you will join me in saying please don’t make me watch the video of her knee bending backwards like al dente linguine again....