washington Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Shawn Kelley's Glove-Throwing Meltdown Will Cost Him His Spot On The Nationals
Last night, Nationals reliever Shawn Kelley gave up a completely meaningless ninth-inning home run to Austin Jackson, which turned the Nationals 23-run win into a 21-run win. Maybe he was mad about dulling Washington’s historic margin, or maybe he was just angry that he was in the game at all, but K...
Behold A Cursed Phrase: "The Worst Loss In Mets History"
It is obviously not so simple as this, but when a team, especially one as desperately crummy as the New York Mets, decides to stand pat at the trade deadline, the front office (or perhaps ownership, in this instance) is saying to fans and to the players, “This is fine.” Is this fine? Mere hours afte...
Angry French Tennis Guy Melts Down By Smashing Multiple Rackets, Then Quitting<em></em>
Tempers were running high today during early-round action at the Washington Open in D.C.—dangerously high, if you happen to be a tennis racket. In a weird match that saw eventual victor Marcos Baghdatis get rattled by a distracting trash cart, notorious hothead Benoit Paire one-upped his opponent’s...
Bryce Harper Is Available
Good morning! It’s just about seven hours until the trade deadline, and Bryce Harper could be on the block....
Dwight Howard Swears That The Warriors Were Interested In Him
Dwight Howard—team-killer, corny joke maker, toxic locker-room presence, and general oaf—signed with the Washington Wizards a few weeks ago, his fourth team in four seasons. The market for him in free agency was quite small, and yet he somehow landed on the team with players who aren’t all fond of ...
A Two-Win Team Won The Arena Football League Title
The Washington Valor won the ArenaBowl on Saturday night, beating the Baltimore Brigade, 69-55, to capture the 31st title of the Arena Football League. Arvell Nelson led the way for the Valor with five rushing touchdowns and three TDs through the air. ...
The Value Of Public Shaming
The bad old tweets are an increasingly permanent component of the news cycle: An athlete does something good—has a good run of appearances, or gets drafted, or, say, loses a no-hitter with two strikes to go—and someone looks up his very old (and very public) tweets, which are racist and/or homophobi...
Actually John Wall Looks Great
As you may have heard, all of NBA media, and indeed pretty much all of the western world, came together yesterday to deride Washington Wizards all-star guard John Wall for, uh, proudly refusing to conform to our culture’s rigid expectations of what a successful professional male athlete must look li...
Dude, John Wall, Whoa
Team USA Basketball Camp starts today in Las Vegas, which means of bunch of the top American basketball players get to hang out under the watchful eye of Gregg Popovich—and also, apparently, one massively exhausted party animal will be there too. The Wizards tweeted out a picture from the camp that ...
Trea Turner Bunts, Just Gives Up
The Nationals are an underachieving team that is reaching that point in the season when everyone starts to get really pissy about all the underachieving. Over the weekend, Stephen Strasburg and Max Scherzer got into a dugout tiff after Strasburg got knocked around by the Braves. On Monday night, Tre...
How I Became A Wizard, By Dwight Howard, Age 7
Last year, the Washington Wizards underperformed both out of sheer ingrained habit and because some of the most important people on the team just absolutely fucking hated some of the other most important people on the team. On Monday, the team introduced Dwight Howard, the veteran big man that the t...
Nationals Executive Has To Resort To Crowdfunding For Leukemia Treatment
Doug Harris, the Washington Nationals’ assistant GM and vice president of player personnel, holds a significant position in the organization—and yet, even an MLB team executive has to resort to asking the public to help cover his medical costs....
Stephen Strasburg's Return Brings More Misery For The Sorry Nationals
Stephen Strasburg pitched for the Nationals for the first time since June 8 Friday. His return to the rotation after recovering from shoulder inflammation was hailed as a major reason for hope that a gloomy, disappointing Nationals season might turn around in the second half. Then he went out and pi...
The Ethics Watchdog Going After Jim Jordan Helped Kill The Sex-Abuse Case Against Kevin Johnson<em></em>
Last week, professional ethics arbiter Norman Eisen asked Congress to investigate the Ohio State sex abuse allegations and any role played by Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), a former NCAA national wrestling champion and longtime assistant coach of the Buckeye wrestling team....
Report: Trump's Supreme Court Nominee Blames Massive Credit Card Debt On Nationals Season Tickets
In a truly troubling sign of poor judgment, Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh says he racked up huge sums of credit card debt purchasing season tickets to watch the chronically disappointing Washington Nationals play baseball in their charmless stadium year after year:...
Former NBA Star Kermit Washington Sentenced To Six Years Over Charity Fraud Scheme
Former NBA player Kermit Washington—who played for 10 seasons but is chiefly famous for punching Rudy Tomjanovich so hard he nearly killed him—was sentenced to six years in federal prison and fined $967,158 yesterday for his role in an “extensive charity fraud scheme,” per a release from the Justice...
Baseball Won't Stop Serving Us Its Gross Fake Beef
We need to get some health inspectors into MLB, because the league just cannot stop serving up all this fake beef. More often than usual this season, it seems like teams are looking for the smallest of faux pas just to have an excuse to rush onto the field and perform some masculinity....
Alex Ovechkin Really, Really Loves The Song "My Neck, My Back"
Stanley Cup winner Alex Ovechkin is wringing as much out of the offseason as he can, presumably so he can drink it while shirtless. The Washington Capitals captain took his championship tour to his hometown of Moscow this past weekend. Ovi attended a viewing party for the national team’s World Cup m...
Mark Reynolds Is ... The Most Interesting Man In Baseball
It’s been a hell of a couple days for Mark Reynolds! A hero in two important breakthrough wins for the Nationals on Friday and Saturday, Reynolds somehow managed to have an even more eventful day at the park on Sunday. To recap: Reynolds turned the first pitch of the bottom of the ninth inning Frida...