washington Page 55 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
George Washington Basketball Players Accuse Coach Mike Lonergan Of Verbal And Emotional Abuse
The George Washington men’s basketball program has seen 13 players transfer out of the school in the last five years. According to accusations made by current and former players in a thorough Washington Post investigation, players keep transferring because head coach Mike Lonergan is a nutjob that n...
Bryce Harper Hit This Pitch To Goddamn Saturn
If you throw that fastball as straight as an arrow and lay it right over the middle of the plate, you’re liable to watch it fly all the way out of the ballpark. Bud Norris did just that against Bryce Harper, who proceeded to jerk a big dong to the third deck....
Chief Zee, Washington's Naive, Aggressively Racist Mascot, Is Dead
Reports out of Washington, D.C., say Zema Williams, the most racist mascot in all of sports but otherwise a real nice guy, is dead....
Little Pirates Fan Finds Truth During 18-Inning Game
Baseball is the best sport because every time the players step on the field, they do so with the understanding that they don’t know exactly when they will be able to go home. The same can’t be said of the fans in the seats, who are allowed to give in to their weaknesses and leave before a winner has...
Gilbert Arenas Goes To Nick Young's House And Acts Like An Asshole
Former NBA player Gilbert Arenas, who at this point will do anything for attention, showed up at Lakers guard Nick Young’s house last night and documented his visit on Snapchat....
The Atlanta Braves Borrowed Their Parking Scam From Dan Snyder
Last week, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that the Braves had quietly asked for and received new traffic ordinances from Cobb County lawmakers. The Accessory Special Event Parking rule, which is among those edicts, bans all privately owned parking lots near the team’s new stadium from ope...
Report: The Wizards Have Checked Out Of The Kevin Durant Sweepstakes
After all that—after all the campaigning and hashtags and t-shirts that were supposed to help bring Kevin Durant back to D.C. to play for his hometown team—the Washington Wizards are just throwing in the towel....
Good Nationals Fan Mocks Ben Zobrist's Strange Batting Stance
Earlier this evening, Jayson Werth’s walk-off hit and subsequent vulgar TV interview capped off a spectacular Nationals-Cubs game. However, far earlier in the game, a Nationals fan stealthily owned the Cubs by mocking Ben Zobrist’s restless butter-churn looking batting stance. TV cameras picked it u...
Jayson Werth Has A Profane, Shaggy Message For His Haters
The Washington Nationals took the rubber match against the Chicago Cubs this evening after an insane 12-inning affair that featured the Nationals going ahead in the 8th, losing the lead in the ninth, forcing extra innings, falling behind in the 12th, then finally walking off after Jayson Werth singl...
Tony Kornheiser To Mercifully Depart D.C. Airwaves After Quarter-Century Of Shouting
Dan Snyder-owned and ESPN-affiliated radio outfit WTEM announced yesterday that Tony Kornheiser, part of the original lineup in 1992 when it was founded as Washington, D.C.’s first all-sports station, will be calling it quits at the end of the month to concentrate on a podcast....
Thousands Of NFL Players' Medical Records Stolen From Skins Trainer
In late April, the NFL recently informed its players, a Skins athletic trainer’s car was broken into. The thief took a backpack, and inside that backpack was a cache of electronic and paper medical records for thousands of players, including NFL Combine attendees from the last 13 years. That would e...
The Cardinals Lost Their 25th Game
Stephen Strasburg gave up a single run over his six innings, and the Washington Nationals knocked around the St. Louis Cardinals bullpen late, combining to send the Cardinals to a 10-2 road loss Sunday....
Bryce Harper Finally Got A Pitch To Swing At And He Dinged A Huge Dang Dong
Look, Bryce Harper has been sort of grumpy fella lately, on account of everyone is walking him and pitching around him like he’s Babe Ruth or something. Not so much tonight. Mike Leake hung a pitch against Harper this evening so he sent it to the third deck. ...
Kermit Washington Indicted, Arrested For Allegedly Running Charity Fraud Scheme
Former NBA player Kermit Washington—who had a 10-year career primarily with the Lakers and Trail Blazers but is best known for brutally punching Rudy Tomjanovich in the face—was arrested Tuesday night, after being indicted for allegedly running a charity fraud scheme. According to the Department of ...
That Was A Good Bartolo Colon Game
Bartolo Colon, who turns 43 years old today, threw an excellent outing last night, going seven innings and allowing one run on five hits in the Mets’ 7-1 win over Washington. But that is not why we are here. We are here for the comedy....
Daniel Murphy Freezes Yoenis Cespedes With The Ole Fake Throw Trick
NL hitting leader Daniel Murphy and his new buddies on the Washington Nationals are in New York to take on the Mets, for whom Murphy jerked some postseason dongs last year. Washington put a whooping on New York last night, and they’re up big tonight thanks to Matt Harvey’s bad start....
Ted Leonsis Gets Roasted By Blogger
The following is the most satisfying three-act play you will ever witness, in which Washington Capitals owner Ted Leonsis attempts to make a crack about Yahoo’s decline and dragged out sale process, and gets positively roasted by Puck Daddy proprietor Greg Wyshynski in return:...
<i>Washington Post</i> Poll: 9 In 10 Native Americans Not Offended By Washington Team Name
The Washington Post spent the last few months surveying a random selection of 504 self-identified Native Americans, 36 percent of whom claimed a tribal affiliation, about the Washington football team calling itself the “Redskins.” Of those surveyed, the vast majority told the Post that the name does...
The Time RGIII Called A Meeting And Told His Coaches How To Coach
Over at The Undefeated, Jason Reid takes a long look at a complex question—why did Robert Griffin III fail in Washington?—and, somewhat disappointingly, operates under the theory that there can be a simple answer. Despite that, it’s a very worthwhile read as both a broad chronicle of a bizarre four ...