washington Page 63 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Washington State Tries Fake Punt, Gives Up Touchdown Instead
Washington State’s still holding onto a narrow lead over 24th-ranked Cal today, but this thoroughly ruined fake punt put the Bears back in the game. We don’t blame the Cougars for trying the fake—4th and 1 at midfield is prime time to go for it, really—but punters are not running backs....
Max Scherzer Pretends To Choke Bryce Harper
The Washington Nationals, the saddest and most dysfunctional team in the league, are somehow still playing baseball games. I kind of assumed that everyone had already packed up their shit and gone home for the winter, but nope! They’re still out there, pitchin’ and hittin’ and catchin’. At least Max...
The NFL Is Closely Watching Hurricane Joaquin
Hurricane Joaquin, currently churning off the Bahamas, is expected to dump a ton of rain on the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast at best, and at worst, come ashore as a powerful storm. Some models put it arriving in Virginia, perhaps right in time for Sunday afternoon’s Eagles-Skins game....
The Washington Nationals Certainly Seem To Hate Matt Williams
The Washington Post’s Barry Svrluga has a deep, perfectly-timed dive into the Washington National’s disaster of a season. Not only is it a complete tick-tock of how the team fell apart, it features a number of quotes and anecdotes from inside the clubhouse, each one revealing that Matt Williams’s pe...
Nationals Blow Comeback In Most Nationals Way Possible
If you proposed the ending to tonight’s Washington Nationals game in a work of fiction, the audience would complain that it was too on the nose to be realistic. But truth is indeed stranger than fiction, and all that jazz. ...
This Is The Worst Of The Bad Opinions On Bryce Harper, But Only So Far
This teaser tweet is insane enough:...
Nationals Suspend Jonathan Papelbon For Choking Out Their Best Player
Since MLB isn’t equipped to punish a player choking out his own teammate in the dugout, the Nationals gave a four-game suspension to fuming goblin Jonathan Papelbon for attacking Bryce Harper during Sunday’s game....
Enjoy The Matt Williams Farce While You Still Can
It is a testament to the Washington Nationals’ dysfunction that the dugout fight between Jonathan Papelbon and Bryce Harper almost made sense compared to everything that came after. A team’s for-hire closer trying to choke the league MVP is one thing, but it’s absolutely inexplicable that manager Ma...
Jonathan Papelbon And Bryce Harper Brawl In Nationals Dugout
The Nationals are really deteriorating as their season comes to an end. They somehow have a winning record, but the dugout has gotten downright toxic. Just this week, Papelbon plunked Manny Machado then Bryce Harper called him out for it. Today, tensions boiled over and the two got into a fight in t...
Nationals Cannot Stop Beating Selves, Allow Inside-The-Park Grand Slam
The Nationals really have no one to blame but themselves for probably losing their way out of a chance at the playoffs, and this play from tonight’s game against the 57-96 Phillies is a great example. Here’s Aaron Altherr driving home all three baserunners and himself thanks to a misplayed ball by M...
Oh, Hey, Jonathan Papelbon's Still A Dick
The Nationals got exactly what they expected out of Jonathan Papelbon: a very good closer and an unrepentant asshole with a knack for pissing off his own teammates as much as his opponents. After Papelbon plunked Manny Machado in last night’s 4-3 Baltimore win, it was Bryce Harper, of all people, wh...
Washington Football Fan Group Stars In World's Saddest Vine
I’m not sure what’s going on with Washington’s social media manager today, but there’s a good chance he or she woke up and said something along the lines of, “I’d really like to make the saddest Vine in the history of the internet today.”...
Alex Ovechkin's Birthday Gift Was A Ship–No, Wait, A <i>Sheep</i>
Alex Ovechkin turned 30 yesterday. While that fact jolts you into realizing your own age, let’s check out what gifts the Capitals captain received:...
Nobody Hates The Skins More Than Skins Fans
If you are not already, get used to seeing this sort of thing:...
Washington Would Really Like You To Know About All Of Its Wonderful Navajo Art
This comes to us from a fan who watched Sunday’s Miami-Washington game from a suite inside Washington’s stadium. He tells us that the suites are adorned with various pieces of art, and that the team is very eager to let people know exactly who made the art....
Here, Illustrated, Is Every Nats Fan
Take comfort in your friends....
Matt Williams Fucks Up Again, Gets Booed At His Press Conference
Washington Nationals manager Matt Williams has spent most of the last week doing everything he can to ensure that his team’s slide out of playoff contention continues without a hitch. If his recent handling of the bullpen had Nats fans bashing their heads against walls, last night’s managerial perfo...
Yoenis Cespedes Error Turns Michael Taylor Single Into Little League Grand Slam
Every right-thinking baseball fan is also a Yoenis Cespedes fan—and he has been hitting like Babe Ruth since joining the Mets at the trade deadline—but man this is an absolutely brutal error. ...
The Nats Are On Life Support, And Matt Williams Is Yanking Away At The Plug
Manager Matt Williams isn’t totally to blame for what’s happened to the Nats this season—they are, hands down, the most disappointing team in baseball, and their 93-win over-under from the start of the year is looking more and more hilarious by the day—but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be punted in...