we Page 195 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Check Out The Wheels On This Pumpkin Thief
Yesterday, D.C. writer Topher Mathews posted about the pumpkin on his doorstep. Specifically, he posted about how someone had stolen his pumpkin. It happens all the time! However, I have to say that I am pretty sure most pumpkin thefts are not this funny....

The Browns Turned It Over On Three Consecutive Offensive Snaps
The Cleveland Browns came into their game against New England this week with a lot of optimism. Jarvis Landry even guaranteed victory over the defending Super Bowl champs, before recanting a bit.Maybe there was a reason he walked back his prediction. The Browns dug a 17-0 hole against the Patriots t...

Report: Young Southampton Fan Somehow Still Believes In Team, Even After 9-0 Loss To Leicester
At least one Southampton supporter was still behind the team well into a rout that ended up tying the record for largest victory in Premier League history: a 13-year-old named Tom. It’d be easy for any young teenager to jump ship from a team that they just witnessed be on the wrong end of a 9-0 loss...

WWE Is Finally Taking The AEW Threat Seriously
It took almost a month, but WWE finally seems to have realized that its new Wednesday Night War won’t be won with filler. This isn’t quite the same as saying that WWE is innovating in response to the challenge presented by AEW’s competition, but at the very least NXT has done well of late by leaning...

Jarvis Landry Guarantees Victory Against The Patriots, Quickly Regrets It
The 2-4 Cleveland Browns have a massively intimidating task ahead of them this Sunday, as they travel to New England to take on the undefeated Patriots. This is a team that, when they took on the league’s other remaining undefeated team in Santa Clara three weeks ago, got crushed by a score of 31-3....

Josh Gordon's Season Is Over, But Only In New England
The Patriots placed Josh Gordon on injured reserve Wednesday, signaling the end of the receiver’s time in New England. Gordon aggravated two bone bruises in his left knee in the second quarter of the team’s Week 5 win over the New York Giants, when he attempted a tackle after the Giants recovered a ...

<i>The Nose Speed Record</i> Captures Alex Honnold And Tommy Caldwell's Fight Against El Capitan, Gravity, And Time
El Capitan was first climbed by Warren Harding, Wayne Merry, and George Whitmore in 1958. They climbed The Nose route over the course of a year, and it took them 47 days of actual climbing to reach the summit using “siege” tactics. In the intervening six decades, The Nose has established itself as ...

Sports Reporter Blasts Slimeball Patriots Fan Who Tried To Kiss Her During <i>MNF</i> Interview
Sports reporter for PointsBet Sportsbook Erin Kate Dolan was interviewing a fan before Monday night’s Pats-Jets football game when a pasty creep wearing a Tom Brady jersey tried to plant a kiss on her. She skillfully ducked him and walked away....

Umpire Joe West Sues Retired Catcher Paul Lo Duca Over Bribery Allegations
Umpire Joe West has had his share—some would say more than his share—of failures. You would be well within your rights to describe him as unreliable, ornery, confrontational, or an occasional obnoxious textualist. He’s been all of those things! But one thing West will not hesitate to sue your ass ov...

And Now, A Modern Drug Deal Gone Wrong
Today, we’re talking about drugs, buffets, shitty NFL stock music, and more....

If You’re Defending Tom Brady’s Cheap Martyr Routine, You’re Fucking Pathetic
The scene is good. In case you missed it, have a gander below at the now-infamous scene from the new Paul Rudd show Living With Myself where Tom Brady strolls out of a massage parlor:...
![This Is Not How Wrestling Ring Ropes Work, <i>WWE 2K20 </i>[Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xmq7n84piyeg9li0pbs0.gif)
This Is Not How Wrestling Ring Ropes Work, <i>WWE 2K20 </i>[Update]
Madden glitches are a well-covered phenomenon, but it’s officially time for a new challenger to step into the ring with its own brand of broken gameplay. WWE 2K20 came out on Tuesday, and already fans are finding match-breaking bugs and general unpolished hilarity, such as this mess of a Tables, Lad...

Bill Belichick Delights In Tormenting The Hapless Jets
Viewers who hadn’t already slipped into a coma Monday night will have noticed a funny sequence early in the fourth quarter of the Patriots’ blowout victory over a spectacularly inept Jets team. A pair of declined penalties against New England’s punt team produced the ultra-rare scene of Bill Belichi...

"Spooky" Sam Darnold Sees Dead People In Ghastly Loss To Dreaded Patriots
Sam Darnold’s first game back after a bout with smooching disease went great! The returning hero threw for 300-plus yards, and his Jets upset the Cowboys, and poor, discarded Luke Falk was swiftly forgotten. Darnold was even named AFC Offensive Player of the Week! Darnold’s second game, Monday night...

Mets Owners Gave Bill de Blasio $5,400 The Day Before He Quit His Presidential Campaign
In 2019, Jed Lowrie suffered a lower-body injury in spring training that somehow never got better or better-understood; for much of the year, the injury was just designated as “left side.” While he was unable to play the field at all, Lowrie did finally make it back to the bigs at the very end of th...

Video Shows Former Oregon Receiver Keanon Lowe Disarming, Hugging Suicidal Student
Former Oregon Ducks wide receiver Keanon Lowe was heralded as a hero back in May when it was reported that he brought down a would-be school shooter before anyone at a Portland high school could get hurt. Video of the incident has since been released because of a public records request from KOIN 6 i...

WWE Is Banking On Crossover Athletes To Carry Its Next Creepy Saudi Show
When WWE signed a deal with the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia last year, only the basics of the pact with the Gulf dictatorship were clear—biannual shows, in the kingdom, in exchange for a massive payday. Everything beyond that was difficult to imagine at the time, and became more and more difficult to ju...

The Washington Nationals Are The Team Of Destiny, Until They're Not
For the entirety of their brief existence in the nation’s capital, the Washington Nationals have been too insignificant or too lousy or too unlucky or too self-defeating to hate. This is not to say that I haven’t figured out various ways to do it over the years, but also I am not without some intere...

Demaryius Thomas And Bill Belichick Both Agree That Thomas Shouldn't Have Trusted The Patriots
Less than a year after tearing his Achilles, veteran wide receiver Demaryius Thomas has established himself with the Jets this year, though that was never his plan entering this season. He thought he was going to be a Patriot, and after a strange offseason, he’s not very happy with Bill Belichick an...

This Is Darby Allin And I Love Him
The Tim Burton creature pictured directly above these words is a pro wrestler named Darby Allin, who currently performs for the start-up promotion All Elite Wrestling. Today I am here to tell you that I would die for this skeleton twink. Allin has only been wrestling for about four years, and he’s ...