we Page 251 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rangers Pitcher Martin Perez Says He Broke His Elbow Because A Bull Scared Him

Texas Rangers starting pitcher Martin Perez had surgery yesterday to repair a fracture in his right (non-pitching) elbow on Monday. Perez needed it, team GM Jon Daniels said, because he was startled by a bull on his ranch in Venezuela....

Timing Of Trademarks Suggests "New XFL" May Be A Response To NFL Protests

On Friday afternoon, I received a particularly surprising DM from someone whose information is normally solid, if not always reportable. The DM said that Vince McMahon is bringing back the XFL, with a press conference announcing the move on Jan. 25. The scuttlebutt was that not only had ESPN’s 30 fo...

The Winless Browns Can't Get Anyone To Watch Them Because Of Liberalism

You won’t get these facts from the mainstream media!...

Blake Bortles, Who Is Always Trash, Cannot Be Called Trash Today<em></em>

The Jacksonville Jaguars thumped the Houston Texans 45-7 Sunday, as QB Blake Bortles threw for 326 yards and three touchdowns with no turnovers. After the game, Texans linebacker Jadeveon Clowney admitted that the Jags soundly beat his team, but wouldn’t give Bortles any credit....

Tom Brady Sidesteps Question About Whether His Quack Guru And Belichick Have Beef

The scuttlebutt around the Patriots, per recent media reports, is that Bill Belichick isn’t too fond of Tom Brady’s quack personal trainer and business partner, Alex Guerrero. (Guerrero is the “brains” behind the pseudoscience upon which Brady’s bullshit wellness program is built.) According to Pro ...

Someone Explain To Me The Alien Alloys Before I Fucking Explode

Hello, hi, yes, hello. We’ve all seen this, right? This story in the New York Fucking Times about the Pentagon’s $22 million Oh Shit There Might Be Aliens program? We’ve all read it? We’ve all engaged with the evidence within the story, written in part by two journalists who have won Pulitzer Prizes...

The Steelers' Final Play Was A Real Mess

The Steelers’ final offensive play in their 27-24 loss to New England was exactly as chaotic as it looked. Normally, that’d be a good thing on a fake spike—you want to confuse the defense. But it would’ve been better for Pittsburgh if more than two Steelers knew what was going on. That’s right: The ...

Uh Huh

NFL's Worst Rule Robs Steelers Of A Win Over Patriots

The NFL was exciting and likable for about two minutes in Pittsburgh this evening, so naturally, someone had to ruin the fun. Getting the ball down five with just over two minutes to play, Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski combined for a vintage comeback drive that gave the Pats a 27-24 lead. However, a ...

Chicharito And Pablo Zabaleta Crack Each Other Up With Jokes They Don't Understand

For evidence of the contagious nature of laughter, just watch this video of Spanish-speaking West Ham players Javier Hernández and Pablo Zabaleta telling each other pun-heavy jokes in English. Note how they and you, the viewer, melt into giggly puddles even though they very clearly don’t have the sl...

Seahawks' Malik McDowell During Arrest: "Bitch, I Got Lawyer Money"

Seattle Seahawks rookie defensive lineman Malik McDowell, who has yet to play in the NFL due to injuries from an ATV accident in July, was arrested in Atlanta last weekend for disorderly conduct. TMZ got the bodycam video from his arrest, and it’s not great:...

How Nicole Bass Was Slut-Shamed By WWE During Her Sexual Harassment Lawsuit

On Friday, former WWE, WCW, and Impact wrestling writer Vince Russo, pro wrestling’s favorite pariah, relayed a story on his podcast that piqued a lot of interest. “I never talk about this, because this is a touchy one, I can tell you one of the female wrestlers came up to me [and] told me that she ...

USMNT Starlet Josh Sargent Inadvertently Offers Scathing Indictment Of MLS<em></em>

Josh Sargent is one of the hottest American soccer prospects in the U.S. Soccer system. In three weeks, the 17-year-old will ship off to Germany as he prepares to sign his first professional contract with Werder Bremen. The St. Louis native has starred for the U.S. U-17 team, the U-20 team, and even...

Mike Tomlin Mangles Metaphor

Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin is plenty fired up to play the Patriots on Sunday, and he’s not afraid to say so. From ESPN:...

Rich People Demolished <i>L.A. Weekly</i> To Build The Future They Want For Journalism

In 2009, L.A. Weekly wrote a story about jerkin’—a dance craze sweeping across the Los Angeles basin—that highlighted the work of then little-known rapper YG. “He was so fresh out of prison, he still had ‘FREE YG!’ on his MySpace page,” the story’s author Jeff Weiss told me. It was one of the first ...

Uh Oh, Someone's Grouchy

The Patriots couldn’t convert a single third down (in 11 chances) in Monday night’s 27-20 loss to the Dolphins. Head coach Bill Belichick opened up about the defeat after the game by grumbling and staring and grumbling some more....

Carson Wentz Tore His ACL And The Eagles Have To Use Nick Foles, Again

Eagles QB Carson Wentz had to leave Sunday’s game with a knee injury, and the citizens of Philadelphia waited with bated breath and clenched buttholes for any updates, hopefully not involving any three-letter medical abbreviations. But the news today wasn’t good: Wentz is done for the year....

Things Eagles Fans Said Outside The L.A. Coliseum About Carson Wentz’s Injury

LOS ANGELES — I knew it as soon as I saw Carson Wentz walking to the tunnel. The Eagles had just scored a touchdown to take the lead. The Coliseum, which had to be about 40 percent Eagles fans, was rocking. But from Row 93 I spotted it. Wentz was walking to the tunnel with a towel over his head....

Carson Wentz Out For Day With Knee Injury [UPDATE]

The Rams and Eagles, two of the best teams in the NFC, have been trading leads all afternoon, but if Philadelphia is going to pull out a win in L.A., they’re going to have to do it without stud QB Carson Wentz. Wentz is officially out for the rest of the day with a left knee injury, which was appare...

Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion Rich Swann Arrested For Domestic Battery And False Imprisonment

Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion Rich Swann was arrested by Gainesville, FL. police just after midnight on December 10 on charges of battery and false imprisonment. His alleged victim is his wife of nine months, Vannarah Riggs, who wrestles under the name Su Yung. The charge of false imprisonment i...