we Page 280 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Julian Edelman Caught That Somehow
So, there it is, right there in the above photo. One inch, maybe two, between football and turf? Some barely countable fraction of a second that felt like it took forever as the ball hung, seemingly unmoored from gravity, precisely long enough for Julian Edelman to double-clutch. An instantly iconic...
James White's Super Bowl-Winning Touchdown, As Heard On Patriots & Falcons Radio And Around The World
James White’s touchdown in overtime gave the Patriots their fifth NFL title and ended one of the wildest Super Bowls in history. Here’s how that championship-winning play sounded on nine different broadcasts, including, in order: Fox, Fox Deportes, Patriots radio, Falcons radio, BBC Radio 5, Westwoo...
All The Falcons Had To Do Was Not Lose 23 Yards
If there was a sequence where the Falcons lost this game (in actuality it was every single drive after New England got the ball with 8:31 left in the third quarter, as the Patriots scored on every one of their remaining possessions—all five of them—while the Falcons couldn’t muster another point) it...
Let's Enjoy The Play That Left Tom Brady In The Dust
We all know what happened in the end, but let’s not forget that before orchestrating an instantly legendary comeback against the Atlanta Falcons and proving that freedom’s enemies will always thrive in 2017, Tom Brady spent the Super Bowl playing like a goddamn jamoke, to the joy of millions. With j...
Donald Trump Praises Tom Brady, Vladimir Putin In Batshit Super Bowl Interview<em></em>
The great tradition of powerful people turning to sports reporters so they can seem folksy—aka avoiding any questions or followups of significant consequence—continued this Super Bowl with our nation’s sentient chancre fielding questions from Jim Gray on Westwood One Sports radio. The interview was ...
Tom Brady Seals Status As Greatest Player Ever As Nation Mourns
Those wild, magical assholes managed to do it again. For the fifth time in seven appearances, the New England Patriots are Super Bowl champions....
Tom Brady's Pick-Six, As Heard Around The World
So far the biggest moment of tonight’s Super Bowl was Tom Brady throwing a pick-six. For the purposes of critical and educational analysis, we allow you to listen to and discuss the play as it was called by announcers on Fox Deportes, BBC 1, PULS 4 (Austria), and Televisa (Mexico). Which broadcaster...
Tom Brady Throws Pick-Six, Falcons Up Big
Now, I won’t go so far as to say that Jimmy Garoppolo wouldn’t have thrown a pick-six. But Jimmy Garoppolo definitely would have gotten over to make that tackle....
A Reminder That The Falcons And Patriots Were No. 1 And No. 2 In The NFL's "Paid Patriotism"
As it turns out, today’s Super Bowl match-up involves the NFL’s top two teams in terms of paid patriotism—those all-American displays paid for by the military without being advertised as such....
Terrell Owens Is Still Not In The Hall Of Fame
The Pro Football Hall of Fame announced its next induction class this evening, and Terrell Owens is not among the seven members. This is, as it was last year, bullshit....
The Falcons' Defense Is Basically Fucked
Patriots-Falcons in Super Bowl 51 is being billed as a showcase of the NFL’s two most prolific offenses, at the height of their powers. The Patriots, of course, are the known entity: Tom Brady and [insert name here] on offense, along with a defense that frequently schemes its way into being greater ...
Dog Watch: The Dogs Are Getting High
Have you heard? Your dog might have an affinity for the Devil’s lettuce. Don’t take it from me (or your dog, who can’t talk [if they can, please email a video to us]), take it from the paper of record....
What Time Does 'What Time Does The Superbowl Start?' Start?
The Super Bowl is allegedly this weekend, and reports indicate that the contest will be played in Houston between the Atlanta Falcons and New England Patriots. ...
Donald Trump Says Bill Belichick Once Kissed Him And Said "I Love You"
Mark Leibovich reminisced about a time he spoke to Donald Trump “in the fall of 2015” for a profile, and shared some of the incumbent president’s stories in a New York Times Magazine piece. There is one particularly fishy anecdote involving Patriots coach Bill Belichick and smooching....
Football Prospect Cited For Weed During Ohio State Visit, Later Tweets Buckeyes "DO SO MUCH DRUGS"
James Robinson is a four-star wide receiver prospect from Lakeland, Florida who until very recently seemed close to signing with Ohio State. That changed after he was cited for weed during a visit to the university, and tweeted this a few days later when the news broke:...
This Terrible Jack Rodwell Tackle Is Why English Soccer Is Wonderfully Stupid
Just look at this shit. A beautiful touch by Tottenham’s Mousa Dembélé to slice through Sunderland’s midfield. A completely hopeless and reckless leg-smasher of a tackle by Jack Rodwell in response to Dembélé’s skill. And somehow, despite standing three feet away with a perfect view of the clatterin...
Under Armour Had A Really Bad Day<em></em>
Under Armour, the company behind those heinous Steph Curry shoes, was the fastest growing sportswear company in the country until very recently. They passed Adidas two years ago to become the second-largest manufacturer in the industry (Adidas recently overtook them), and at one point an MVP in each...
Rob Gronkowski Once Tanked A Free Throw To Keep His High School Basketball Team At 69 Points
Within this WPRI feature on various New England Patriots’ high school glory days is a magnificent parable about how Rob Gronkowski, a butt with a tattoo of a butt with a tattoo of a butt on it, sacrificed his individual success for a greater cause....
I'm Fed Up With Tom Brady
It’s been more than 16 months since Tom Brady first placed a “Make America Great Again” hat in his locker and kept it there for weeks while telling reporters that it “would be great” if Donald Trump became president. Well, Donald Trump is president, and I’m going to put this as objectively as I can:...