we Page 285 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"This Towel Is Terrible"
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D-II Snow Action!
Today’s Division II national championship game is being played in a snowstorm, which has stifled both the Northwest Missouri State and North Alabama offenses—but QB-turned-WR Randy Schmidt dug down deep to pull out this one-handed highlight reel....
There Is One Very Good Reason To Watch The Dolphins And Jets On Saturday Night
The Dolphins and Jets play tomorrow night in the first Saturday game of this season. If you didn’t already know that, I regret having to be the one to inform you. Last week, the Jets needed a furious comeback to beat the 49ers. Their season is over and their coach may be fired. The Dolphins are curr...
Former Pro Wrestler Wrecks Man Who Allegedly Tried To Threaten Him With BB Gun
Pro wrestler Shad Gaspard, best known for being part of the tag team Cryme Tyme on WWE Raw in the mid-2000s, foiled a poorly planned robbery attempt at a Florida gas station Friday....
The 300-Year Journey From Classical Standard To Gay Disco Anthem To The Most Iconic Anthem In Soccer
The first leg of the 1994 UEFA Cup Winners’ Cup semi-final between Arsenal and Paris Saint-Germain at the Parc Des Princes was rife with the tensions of early ‘90s provincial fandom. “The Boulogne Boys [PSG’s right-wing hooligan supporters] were looking for Arsenal fans to attack in the build-up to ...
Big Strong Santa Will Get You Feeling Festive
You wanna see a guy who looks like Santa Claus deadlift 650 pounds while some EDM-inflected Christmas music plays in the background? Hell yeah you do!...
Triple H: Donald Trump Is Unclear On Whether Wrestling Is Real<em></em>
Back in 2007, WWE ran a storyline that culminated with CEO Vince McMahon being blown up in a limo. You don’t need me to tell you that McMahon is still alive and was not actually blown to pieces, because you aren’t a moron who thinks wrestling is real. Apparently, the same cannot be said for our futu...
The Patriots Can Win With Anyone
It has felt at times this NFL season like there are no good teams, or at least no teams without glaring, potentially fatal weaknesses. The Patriots certainly have theirs—a shorthanded offense, a middling defense, occasionally disastrous special teams—but they are surely the best of the bunch, and th...
Steaming Mad Luke Walton Curses Out Officials After Ejection
It took fewer than eight minutes for Luke Walton to turn into a profane, suit-wearing Daffy Duck and blow his top tonight at Monty McCutcheon and his officiating crew over a missed call. Walton was infuriated after bit of wrestling from DeMarcus Cousins, and he teed off on McCutcheon for a considera...
Rick Perry's Glasses Qualify Him For Important Science Post, Building Nukes<em></em><em></em>
Rick Perry, a swaggering idiot who found a pair of glasses on the street one day, is about to become the head of the Department of Energy, according to CBS News. The Department of Energy’s job right now is to develop the next generation of nuclear weapons. What this means practically speaking, of co...
Shea McClellin Pulled Off A Perfect Leap Over The Ravens' Offensive Line
Malcolm Butler made a perfect deflection on third down to put the Ravens’ best player (kicker Justin Tucker) on the field for a 34-yard field goal attempt. Tucker missed his first field goal attempt of the year on the attempt, but it was through no fault of his own. Patriots linebacker Shea McClelli...
WMU Basketball Player Charged With Murdering Fellow Student
At around 10:30 p.m. on Dec. 8, Kalamazoo police responded to a report of a shooting near the campus of Western Michigan University. They arrived to find 19-year-old WMU student Jacob Ryan Jones dead, and a day later they arrested 20-year-old WMU basketball player Joeviair Kennedy as part of a felon...
Why Is HBO Refusing To Deny That <i>Westworld</i>'s Robots Poop?<em></em>
HBO’s Westworld, the haunting tale of what can happen when cowboy sex robots go awry, spent its first season unwrapping many of the mysteries that so captivated its audience—save, that is, the question that has tormented fans most of all. And that’s apparently exactly how HBO wants it....
Donald Trump Names WWE's Linda McMahon To Head Small Business Administration
Because life is one cruel joke after another, Linda McMahon, former president and CEO of the WWE, has been named to head up President-elect Donald Trump’s Small Business Administration....
This Storm Sure Looks Like Something
This wind storm is only a little bit excited about showing up in Portland....
It's Time Again To Listen To Kevin Harlan Call Play-By-Play Of Two Idiots On The Field
Idiots On The Field once again stormed a lousy Monday Night Football game tonight, which means their eventual punishment at the arms of New Jersey state troopers got called live on Westwood One radio by Kevin Harlan and Boomer Esiason....
What The Hell Is <i>Westworld</i> Gonna Do Next Season?
Television’s best show about murderous sex robots, HBO’s Westworld, wrapped up its debut season last night in the way most prestige TV shows do. Characters died, twists were revealed, and the season ended on a somewhat ambiguous note....
When Did You Figure Out <i>Westworld's</i> Big Twist?
The most fun I had watching the first season of HBO’s Westworld, a show about a theme park full of murderous robots owned by an angry gamer, occurred during last night’s finale. Spoilers ahead, for anyone who has watched fewer than three episodes of this show and also doesn’t have an internet connec...
Mike "Nuke The Gays" Priefer Will Coach The Vikings Tonight
Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer had emergency eye surgery last night, which means that special-teams coordinator Mike Priefer will step in as interim coach for tonight’s nationally televised game against the Cowboys. Mike Priefer ... where have we heard that name before?...