we Page 295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sweden Knock The USWNT Out Of The Olympics On Penalties
After a strangely stilted, disjointed performance, the USWNT has been kicked out of a major international tournament before the semifinal stage for the first time ever. Sweden were good, the U.S. were pretty bad, and the refereeing was worse....

How To Be A Flake And Still Have Friends
One of the greatest things about becoming an adult is realizing that, despite what you’ve been led to believe, most things are bad. Parties, hangouts, “chill seshes”—each one worse than the last and far inferior to sitting on a couch in a cocoon of your own filth. You know that now. And thanks to th...

Fitness Enthusiasts' Insufferability, Ranked<em></em>
Getting exercise is good, allegedly, and there are good and bad people who enjoy every form of exercise. Some forms of exercise, however, collect far more bad, obnoxious, horrible, insufferable people than others. These are those forms....

The Time I Got Fired By The Philadelphia Phillies
I grew up just outside of Philadelphia, the kind of rabid Phillies fan who had a life-size Pat Burrell poster on wall of the bedroom that my sister and I shared for so many years that we ended up telling two-dimensional Pat all our deepest secrets. I have also spent a not especially impressive but p...

Your 2014 Deadspin HOF Inductees: Tommy Craggs, A Butthole, And Some Other Stuff
The 2014 Deadspin Hall of Fame class was never inducted, and to remedy that, here they are, two years later. We screwed up. Sorry!...

Don't Ask About My Pubes, And Other Lessons From Two Famous Redheads
In February of 2015, the Concourse published an article about redheads that has had Jezebel’s Ellie Shechet and Madeleine Davies steamed ever since. They’re using Gawker Media’s Senior Week to finally respond....

Why My Team Rules: The Philadelphia Eagles
Some people are haters of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are FANS of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the hating-ass hater’s guides to other teams you love here. Drew Magary has a new book out—have you heard?...

Lance Armstrong Was Awesome, And Anyone Who Disagrees Is A Narc<em></em>
Lance Armstrong was a very good cyclist, perhaps the best the greatest who ever lived. Anyone who says otherwise is ignoring history....
![Patriots Rookie Malcolm Mitchell Suffers Grotesque Elbow Injury [Graphic]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Patriots Rookie Malcolm Mitchell Suffers Grotesque Elbow Injury [Graphic]
Preseason football is stupid, exhibit #9000: Malcolm Mitchell, the Patriots’ fourth-round wide receiver pick out of Georgia, suffered a really awful-looking elbow injury in the second quarter of New England’s game against the Saints tonight. What a sport!...

Counterpoint: Dying Is (Probably) Okay
My smart colleague George Dvorsky over at Gizmodo published a defense of “radical life extension” this morning. This is a largely pseudo- or quasi-scientific pursuit favored by billionaire parasite Peter Thiel (among others), based upon the idea that, essentially, death is a pathology rather than a ...

Here's The Very Last Virgilbag Ever
The Virgilbag is dead and is never coming back. Here are some wrestler run-in stories you sent us anyway....

Accept Your Mediocrity (I'm Fine!)<em></em>
There comes a time in your life when you realize that you are a fairly mediocre human being. You can try to rectify some aspects of the situation—exercise or whatever—but there is little you can actually do to outrun your own unremarkableness. (You can’t outrun it because you’re out of shape.)...

Ashley Feinberg Is Gawker Media's Thirstiest Blogger
We here at Gawker Media are in the business of telling the truth, but we’re also in the business of collaboration. You’ve probably noticed posts from across the Gawker network appearing here on Deadspin, and you’ve probably seen our posts appear on our sister sites. Splicing blogs from site to site ...

Smelliest Sports, Ranked
Ask An Adequate Woman is a space where readers can ask the questions they can’t—or maybe just won’t!—pose to their friends about relationships, fashion, family dramas, dating, existential crises, weird sex stuff, and everything else. The Women of Deadspin (and some of our clever friends) are here to...

Three American Olympians Worth Tuning In For<em></em>
It’s Day 6 at the Olympics, and while athletes like Katie Ledecky, Adrian Carambula, and Mara Abbott have already seized their time on the world stage, more are surely to come. Here are a few American Olympians to watch for:...

A Legitimate Plan To Restore Tug Of War As An Olympic Event
Tug of war was contested as an official Olympic event from 1900 until 1920, when it was culled from the Summer Games program alongside sports like equestrian vaulting (jumping onto—and then off of—a horse), figure skating, and ice hockey. We think it’s time tug of war came back to the Olympics, and ...
![Armenian Weightlifter Suffers Horrifying Elbow Injury [Graphic]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/yatlan6ocszcugirzfi9.jpg)
Armenian Weightlifter Suffers Horrifying Elbow Injury [Graphic]
Andranik Karapetyan is the reigning European champion in 77 kilogram weightlifting, but his hopes for an Olympic medal ended when he suffered a disgusting elbow dislocation while trying to lift 195 kilograms (430 pounds)....

What Do You Think Mr. T Is Daydreaming About? Draw It Here.
While cleaning up around my office this week, I found my old Mr. T coloring book from back in the 80's. Now, I am offering you the opportunity to exhibit your artistic talents. What do you think Mr. T is daydreaming about? Draw it here:...

Épée Is For Losers<em></em>
Fencing is a great sport. It’s pseudo-techno-sword-fighting! What more could you want? I’ll tell you: to get rid of épée, the stupid version of the sport....

Just So You Know, A Real Archer Would Destroy These Olympic Pretenders On The Field Of Combat
I tried watching some Olympic archery competitions. It made me sick. All I saw were a bunch of stationary cowards, shooting arrows in a highly controlled environment while aided by the kind of high-tech equipment you’d expect to find in a Navy SEAL’s locker. I couldn’t stop thinking about how Lars A...