we Page 314 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alabama's Jimmie Taylor Discovers New Way To Box Out
Kentucky won today’s SEC basketball battle in Tuscaloosa today 77-61, but it was the Crimson Tide that contributed to the college basketball corpus of literature as forward Jimmie Taylor introduced a new way of boxing out defenders to secure the offensive rebound. Despite this innovation, Taylor was...
<i>Star Wars</i>-Inspired Patriots Hype Video Doesn't Even Make Sense
Get ready for the “sports highlights mashed up with Star Wars: The Force Awakens” genre to become a ubiquitous internet thing. Let us hope the other entries are better than this one....
This Toronto Raptors Executive Had An Extremely Tight Wedding
I’m fully aware of the fact that rich people’s ridiculous weddings get written up in places like Vogue precisely because non-rich people will read sentences like, “Everyone gently retrieved their seat assignments from sphagnum moss falling from the boughs of a weeping cherry tree” and go, “Whaaaaaaa...
I Lost Almost 50 Pounds, But Not My Inhibitions
So I’m standing in line at Taco Bell sometime in the early 2000s, and up at the counter they’ve got a TV showing us security-camera footage of ourselves, and that’s how I catch sight of the hulking, disheveled, terrifying man looming directly behind me. He is the size of 3.5 normal people, even in t...
#DaddySworeAnOath Is The Best Way To Mock Those Oregon Dinguses
Out of all the jamokes currently attending the Guns ’N Camo sleepaway camp in a remote and unspectacular administrative building in Oregon, the guy in the video above might be the jamokiest. Click play, and you’ll see Jon Ritzheimer tearfully inform his children that he won’t be home for awhile beca...
More Evidence That Tom Brady Is A Fancy Dog
We have previously put forward the theory that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is in fact a fancy dog. For those of you who scoffed at our perfectly sound reasoning, I present more irrefutable evidence that Tom Brady is indeed a dog, and a fancy one at that....
Kanye West's New Song Is So Bullshit
I’ve been a Kanye West stan since high school. I’m on record as saying he has like 18 perfect songs. I’ve dressed up as Kanye for Halloween, twice. I’ve publicly hailed “All Day” as an unmatched sonic triumph even though I know it’s just okay. 808s & Heartbreak made me cry, and My Beautiful Dark Twi...
Those Jamokes In Oregon Aren't Terrorists, They're Jamokes
The American political lexicon has an appropriate word for the armed men conspicuously loitering in part of Oregon’s Malheur National Wildlife Refuge instead of going home. It is not terrorist or militia or occupation or revolution or movement or front or army or resistance. The word is jamoke. “Get...
The Broncos Are Peyton Manning's Again
Active Sunday for the first time since Nov. 15, and serving as a backup for the first time in his career since 1994—when he was behind Todd Helton on Tennessee’s depth chart—Peyton Manning spent the first half watching the Broncos turn the ball over and seemingly squander a chance to be the AFC’s No...
Petros Papadakis Hams It Up
The Challenge with Fred Roggin is a Southern California post-game institution—something like a localized George Michael’s Sports Machine on ketamine and offering prizes to viewers—so here’s co-host Petros Papadakis celebrating the end of the season with a pig. I can’t really explain this, and it get...
"What In The World Just Happened There!?" Maryland & Northwestern Combine For Wild Sequence
Northwestern is sporting its best men’s basketball team in years—maybe ever, given that the Wildcats have never, ever made the NCAA tournament—and Maryland’s fourth-ranked Terrapins are in Evanston tonight looking to darken those bright Chicago skies (heh, heh)....
We're The Deadspin Staff; Let's Chat!
We’re also just “working” today for appearance’s sake, so let’s talk about whatever’s on your mind. ...
Wow, It's The Most Difficult "Can You Find The Panda?" Puzzle Yet
Over the course of the last week or so, you may have noticed some version of this puzzle popping up in one of your social media feeds:...
Brandon Weeden Roasted Jerry Jones
Brandon Weeden began this season as a Cowboy and is going to end it among the thicket of, oh, let’s say, imperfect QBs leading the Texans into the playoffs (unless the Colts somehow beat the 3,300:1 odds stacked against them). I’m sure he didn’t imagine he’d play much this season, let alone start fo...
Iowa Knocks Off #1 Michigan State, Who Scored An Own Goal
We love these incredible basketball plays, so here’s Michigan State’s Alvin Ellis scoring on his own basket while trying to deflect an Iowa inbound pass. It’s emblematic of the Spartans’ rough night in Iowa City; they fell to the Hawkeyes 83-70....
Peter King: "I Am Obviously A Rube"
He’s probably talking about the Chip Kelly firing, but may be talking about Skyline chili. Seems accurate either way....
Eric Weddle And The Chargers Seem To Be Done With Each Other
Eric Weddle has spent all nine seasons of his pro career with the Chargers, and after he didn’t receive a contract extension before the season, it seemed likely that he’d sign with another team when he became a free agent. Now, the prospect of Weddle leaving the Chargers is a virtual certainty. And ...
Bill Belichick Had A Plan, It Just Backfired Completely
By now we know that the Patriots’ decision to kick off to start overtime wasn’t a mistake—or at least, not the one it appeared to be at the time. New England never touched the ball in their 26-20 OT loss to the Jets, and while the outcome wasn’t by design, the strategy was. Whether or not it was a w...
Patriots Lose After Screwing Up Overtime Coin Toss [UPDATE]
Eric Decker hauled in a game-winning touchdown catch after the Jets were gifted the ball in overtime thanks to a colossal screwup by the New England Patriots....