we Page 325 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Patriots Planned To Raise A Tom Brady Banner If Brady Were Still Suspended
At next Thursday’s season opener, Tom Brady will take the field and the Patriots will raise their fourth Super Bowl banner to the rafters. The latter wouldn’t have happened without the former, team president Jonathan Kraft said: the Patriots couldn’t properly celebrate a championship without its qua...
Judge Overturns Tom Brady's Suspension
Judge Richard M. Berman has nullified the NFL’s four-game suspension of Tom Brady for his role in the Patriots’ ball deflation scandal. Pending an appeal (Update: the NFL will appeal, according to ESPN’s Andrew Brandt), Brady will start on opening night one week from tonight....
Wife Of Skins GM Apologizes For Accusing ESPN Reporter Of Trading Blow Jobs For Scoops
Yet again setting a new standard for franchise incompetence, the Washington football team has now been humiliated by Jessica McCloughan, wife of general manager Scot McCloughan, having to apologize for accusing an ESPN reporter of giving blow jobs for access....
32 Years Later, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka Charged With Girlfriend's Death
Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka was charged today with one count of third-degree murder and one count of involuntary manslaughter in the bizarre 1983 death of his girlfriend, Nancy Argentino. Until today, no charges ever had been brought in the case....
Pissed-Off Saido Berahino Swears To Never Play Another Game For West Brom
This is why you should’ve just taken the money, man....
Shut Up About Tom Brady's Legacy
Here’s a true sentence packed with enough ridiculousness to blast a person across the room like a cannon: a U.S. District Court ruling is anticipated today or tomorrow on whether one of the NFL’s all-time greatest players can be penalized for having general knowledge that some footballs were at some...
Cops: Man Shot Outside WWE Performance Center Had Knife, Obsession With Female Wrestler
Police officers shot a man outside of the WWE Performance Center near Orlando, Fla., on Monday afternoon. According to police, the man was armed with a knife and was at the performance center, where police had previously encountered him three times, because of an obsession with a female wrestler....
Wes Craven, RIP: The Mild-Mannered King Of Our Nightmares
By all accounts, Wes Craven was a lovely human being: a mild professorial type who made the people around him comfortable. In interviews, he came off as an excellent teller of dad jokes, and did not have an intimidating or particularly unsettling presence. But in three successive decades, the writer...
West Ham Fans Keep Getting Victory Tattoos
West Ham beat Liverpool 3-0 today, which means Leicester City remain in the top four. It also means that fan Jon High has a new tattoo. What follows is a story in two tweets about bold predictions, keeping your word, and how cool Manuel Lanzini’s name is....
Wait, Floyd Mayweather Made <i>How Much </i>Money Last Year?
So a thing that’s been in the news recently is the ongoing exchange of sick burns between boxer “Fuckboy” Floyd Mayweather and mixed martial artist Ronda Rousey. This beef is verbal, with tension sparked and stoked by thickheaded, numbnutted clownmen who think that pitting an athlete of one sport ag...
A Complete Guide To Buying Her Flowers
You wanted to do something nice for your girlfriend—maybe even a little corny. And, hey, look, there’s a supermarket with a flower section on your way home from work! Buying flowers sounds easy, until towers of flowers are staring back at you (labeled with scientific names almost nobody actually use...
Classic Man: "Women Should Take Baths"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we covered the art of bribery; today, we’re talking about chicks and baths....
The Dystopian Love Triangle <i>Z For Zachariah </i>Proves That Hell Is Other People
One of the best things about Z for Zachariah, the new drama starring Margot Robbie, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Chris Pine, is that even after seeing the movie twice, I still have no idea how I feel about any of its three protagonists. That’s by design. Based on Robert C. O’Brien’s 1974 sci-fi novel, the ...
Curt Schilling's Bad Tweet Got Him Taken Off Little League World Series Duty
Curt Schilling, who loves crazy-ass memes and being crazy more than anyone, is getting a slap on the wrist from ESPN after tweeting a meme with the basic premise of “Muslims = Nazis.” ...
Drunk Hammer-Thrower Barters Gold Medal For Taxi
The IAAF World Championships are happening now in Beijing, and here are its major stories: Bolt won, Gatlin lost, and a drunk Pole bartered his hammer-throw gold medal for a taxi ride. Truly, we are living in a golden age of track and field....
Dudley Boyz Return To WWE, And You Better Believe There Were Tables Involved
New Day seized the WWE Tag Team championship during last night’s SummerSlam pay-per-view, but their victory lap on tonight’s Raw was cut short by a duo that hasn’t been seen on pro wrestling’s biggest promotion in ten years: Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley. The Dudley Boyz—who, in WWE’s Attitude Era popu...
Patriots Sign Reggie Wayne
Per Adam Schefter, the Patriots and WR Reggie Wayne have agreed to a one-year deal. It’s a poke in the eye of the Colts, no doubt, but New England wouldn’t be doing this if they didn’t think Wayne could be productive....
No One Loves Anything More Than This Ballboy Loves His Soccer Team
Salutations, my savages. What we have here is a match between Wycombe and Dag & Red in England’s League Two. It finished 1-1, and appeared to have been a hard-fought, good and fun contest between two bad and earnest teams. But that’s not why we have gathered around this blog on this wonderful day....