we Page 345 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Prosecutors: Hernandez's DNA Found On Shell Casing, Joint At Crime Scene
The Aaron Hernandez murder trial got underway yesterday, and prosecutors revealed two previously un-reported pieces of evidence while delivering opening statements. ...
DeMarcus Cousins Gives Rock-Stupid Sportswriter A Much-Deserved Smack
Five years ago today, professional dumb person Clay Travis tweeted a bold-ass prediction. "There is a 100% chance that DeMarcus Cousins is arrested for something in the next five years. 100%. Write it in stone," he said. "Write it in stone," he said!...
Super Bowl Footballs Will Receive Extra Security
Remember, if you can, back a whole three days ago, before Marshawn Lynch conquered America: it's tough to believe now, but there used to be a big scandal about deflated footballs or something. (It's hard to recall the specifics.) The NFL is taking no chances on a repeat of the controversy. Nobody is...
The Patriots' Super Bowl Success Relies On The Brady-Gronk Connection
Since Randy Moss got the Jazzy Jeff toss from the New England in the middle of the 2010 season, Patriots fans have spent offseason after offseason squawking about the team's need for a deep-threat receiver. Those people are idiots. The current Patriots do not need a deep threat, because Tom Brady su...
You Can Tell College Gronk's Cool Because He's Wearing Sunglasses
Here we see human Spuds MacKenzie Rob Gronkowski in his natural state at the University of Arizona: No shirt, sunglasses, and a big dumb smirk. You can hear the 311 playing through your screen....
Screencap Classix: We're All Disgusted
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Key & Peele Will Make You Laugh With More Fake Football Names
This is the third time they've done this sketch, and it is somehow not yet completely tiresome. This latest edition is aided by the presence of a few guest stars....
I'm A Grown Man Who Wet The Bed. What Do I Do Now?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Mayweather And Pacquiao Meet For The First Time
It seems incredible that for all their ducking and dodging and posturing and close calls, Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao had never met face-to-face before last night. But with both sitting courtside at the Miami Heat game—directly opposite each other, as it worked out—the two wandered over at h...
This Goalkeeper's Free Kick Positioning Is ... Interesting
The routine for free kicks just outside the box is well-established. The defending team sets up a wall of five or six, and the free kick taker tries to smash the ball up-and-over/around/under the wall. If the goalie is lucky he has about half of a second to see where the ball is going....
What Are Bill Belichick's Other Horcruxes?
Seeing as how Lord Belichick inadvertently revealed the nature of one of his Horcruxes today, we thought now would be a good time to try and figure out what items house the other six pieces of his sundered soul. These are our guesses, and please feel free to share your own in the comments....
Why Those Statistics About The Patriots' Fumbles Are Mostly Junk
Statistics can say whatever you want it to, drolls the dull old axiom. But that tack has always placed the onus more on the numbers than on the ones manipulating them; more correctly, you might say, Statistics can say whatever you want it to when it's used irresponsibly or haphazardly. This is esp...
Rob Gronkowski Reads Gronk Erotica Out Loud At Super Bowl Media Day
Thanks to the half-serious circus that is Super Bowl Media Day, someone persuaded extremely tall fifth-grader Rob Gronkowski into reading a line from A Gronking To Remember, the Gronk-themed erotica that surfaced on Amazon earlier this month....
Louis C.K. Has A Good Take On The Ballghazi Scandal
If you're starting to feel a little suffocated by Ballghazi hysteria, allow funnyman Louis C.K. to bring a little levity into the situation....
Weed Review: Will Beast Mode 2.0 Make You Feel Like Marshawn Lynch?
Did you know that a Seattle marijuana-delivery service is now offering a Marshawn Lynch-inspired strain called Beast Mode 2.0? It's true. So we got a local enthusiast to review it for us. Here are his (scattered) thoughts. ...
The Patriots' Hotel's Fire Alarm Went Off Last Night
The Patriots' first night in Arizona was not a restful one; after getting in and doing their press conferences (including a particularly impassioned one from Bob Kraft), the team turned in—only to be woken up by a blaring fire alarm at around 1:30 local time....
Brandon Browner Says Injured Seahawks Are Targets
Patriots corner Brandon Browner—who spent the previous three seasons with the Seahawks—was not shy about his belief that New England needs to target his banged-up former teammates. Speaking to ESPN, Browner specifically referenced Richard Sherman's sprained elbow and Earl Thomas's separated shoulder...
"This Is A Serious Situation"
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