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Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

The South Comes In All Flavors
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Kliff Kingsbury Morphing Into Charlie Weis Is Quite Disturbing
The Big 12 has a commercial with some of the conference's coaches morphing into each other, and that's how we get Kliff Kingsbury turning into Charlie Weis. This transformation can actually happen if Kingsbury screws up every major decision in his future. Don't do that, Kliff. You're too handsome to...

Report: Patriots Trade Quarterback Ryan Mallett To Texans
The Patriots kept Ryan Mallett along with Tom Brady and second-round pick Jimmy Garoppolo for their final roster cuts, and now it's clear why: They didn't want to release someone that could get a return. New England will reportedly ship Mallett to the Houston Texans....

Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!
Steve Austin dropped by the College GameDay set this morning and did typically Stone Cold things....

Wayne Routledge Scores With A Beautiful Chest-High Volley
Mmmmm, this contorted, leaping volley from outside the box by Swansea City's Wayne Routledge is just delicious. How did he get his foot so high?...

Watch College Football Coaches Read And Respond To Mean Tweets
We've enjoyed Jimmy Kimmel's gimmick of having various celebrities and athletes read mean tweets about themselves, and the good times have continued today when College GameDay borrowed the idea. Hey, college football coaches aren't humorless tight-asses all the time!...

Report: Tom Brady "Very Upset" By Logan Mankins Trade
Everyone's still a little shocked by the Patriots' trade of six-time Pro-Bowl guard Logan Mankins to the Buccaneers in exchange for TE Tim Wright and a fourth-round draft pick. But if you were taken aback, imagine how the guy who's been protected by Mankins for the past nine seasons must feel....

Warren Buffett Is Friends With A Serial Woman Beater
Like a lot of very well off athletes, Floyd Mayweather recently met with Warren Buffett to discuss his financials. There's an Instagram photo of them chumming it up and everything. Unlike most well off athletes, however, Floyd Mayweather is a serial and unrepentant abuser of women, palling around ...

West Virginia QB Clint Trickett's First Kiss Was Nick Saban's Daughter
Nick Saban is perhaps the Platonic ideal of the kind of dad that strikes fear into the heart of any boy foolish enough to attempt dating his daughter, especially because he could likely get away with murder in the state of Alabama. And yet, West Virginia quarterback Clint Trickett, who is playing Al...

Three Case Western Wrestlers Die In Plane Crash
Four people died Monday night when a rented, single-engine Cessna crashed and burned soon after taking off from Cuyahoga County Regional Airport near Cleveland, Ohio. All four, including the pilot, were students at Case Western Reserve University, and the three passengers were on the varsity wrestli...

Restaurant Removes Bacon Sign, Ignites Culture War
This is it, folks. This just might be it. Your love of bacon will bring you to ruin, our ancestors said, but did we listen? Did we heed? No we did not. And now: Here we are, careening bacon-scented over the precipice of disaster. "My grandfather was alive in 2014," they will say, huddled fu...

Patriots Trade Logan Mankins To Bucs For Pick, Ex-Rutgers Player
The Patriots have agreed to a trade. It does not involve Ryan Mallett....

Adrian Beltre And Elvis Andrus Continue To Be Hilarious
Adrian Beltre and Elvis Andrus, who are basically baseball's version of a buddy-cop duo at this point, put on another one of their comedy routines last night. After Andrus floated over to his right to field a pop fly in Beltre's territory, the two had a little tête-à-tête about who exactly needs...

MLS Used A Blind Draw To Decide Where Jermaine Jones Will Play
In one of those "only in MLS" stories—and not one of the charming ones, either—World Cup standout Jermaine Jones is now a member of the New England Revolution, but only because the Revs' name came up in a random draw....

South Korea Wins LLWS; Teams Bro Down In Handshake Line
South Korea beat Chicago's Jackie Robinson West in the Little League World Series Championship 8-4 today. It featured a pretty solid bat flip from Dong Wan Sin (above) and also a really cool bit of sportsmanship after the game (below). ...

Jets CB Dimitri Patterson Has Been Missing Since Friday
Jets cornerback Dimitri Patterson has been missing since Friday's game at MetLife Stadium against the Giants. He was present for meetings, a walk through, and the pre-game meal Friday, but was a no-show come game time. The Jets have not been able to speak with Patterson directly but his agent, Dre...

Peyton Manning Penalized For Jawing At Texans DB Who Concussed Welker
In the final seconds of the first half of Texans-Broncos last night, Houston safety D.J. Swearinger hit Wes Welker with a shoulder pad/forearm shot to the helmet. Though he did so slowly, Welker did get up on his own and took himself out of the game. He immediately went to the locker room where it w...

This Awkward Report From The Urbana Sweetcorn Fest Is Full Of Lies
Maggie Hockenberry had the unenviable task of up-selling the Urbana Sweetcorn Fest in Urbana, Illinois and every step of the way the camera saw right through her. "Oh my gosh, Amanda. Downtown Urbana, corn is what everybody's craving. There's a line behind me of people just waiting to get their ears...

Mauro Zárate Drills Home Magnificent Volley Off The Deflection
West Ham United took a 1-0 lead on Crystal Palace today when Mauro Zárate—in his first start for a new squad—lined up a volley after a sky-high deflection of a shot from teammate Mark Noble....