we Page 491 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The US Women Won Two Games 27-0, And It Did Not Impress Brandi Chastain, So Hope Solo Fought Back
The US shredded its opponents in CONCACAF women's soccer Olympic qualifiers this week—14-0 over the Dominicans, 13-0 over Guatemala, and 4-0 over Mexico—but Brandi Chastain, the lady who's famous for this, was not impressed. She called the games for Universal Sports Network (it's not the one formerl...

Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Has An Additional Year-End Fee Of $90
We can't think what else the disproportionate $89.55 "miscellaneous" charge could be....

What Do Premier League Stars Read When They're Not Busy Not Reading?
It's time for the 2012 Premier League Reading Stars program, in which England's schoolkids are encouraged to read by professional athletes pretending to love books. To kick off the program, 20 Premier Leaguers—one from each club—were asked to name their favorite adult and children's books. The resul...

Last Night's Ohio-Central Michigan Women's Basketball Game Got A Bit Chippy-Wa
Apologies for the lousy video quality, but here's a fight that erupted between Ohio's Porsha Harris and CMU's Jas'Mine Bracey during the Chippewas' 67-53 win over the Bobcats last night in Mount Pleasant....

Somebody Let Dirk Nowitzki Have The Microphone Again, And The Results Were <em>Äußerst Komisch</em>
Dirk Nowitzki's occasional stints as a TV analyst have led to catchphrases including "Take Dat With You," which became an unofficial rallying cry for last year's Mavericks. Dirk's grunts and ejaculations are funny, for sure—even if sometimes in a "does my breath smell funny" or "does my car sound ...

FBI Docs: The Story Of The 6-Foot-8 Redneck Ex-Con Who Terrorized George Steinbrenner With Jet Skis
Ah, Tampa. The balmy breeze. The sandy white beaches of acceptable granularity. The lingering fury of the most dyspeptic owner in baseball history. I speak, of course, of George Steinbrenner. Welcome back for another edition of "The Boss Files," our document-driven retrospective of Steinbrenner's li...

Clover-Nipple Man, The Unofficial Conductor Of The Notre Dame Fight Song
Your morning roundup for Jan. 26, the day somebody finally tried to do something about all that cannibalism out there. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Lawrence Taylor, On If He Is A Changed Man After Getting Busted With An Underage Prostitute: "No"
In a meandering and bizarre interview aired Wednesday night on Showtime's Inside The NFL, Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor attempted to respond to questions about his 2010 arrest for soliciting an underage prostitute but mostly left the impression that more trouble's in his future....

Your "Oh No, It's 3:30 A.M. " Liveblog Of Federer-Nadal At The Australian Open
Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are set to meet in the Australian Open semifinals on Thursday, in a match scheduled to begin at 3:30 a.m. ET. It's the 27th time the pair have met on a tennis court, with the Majorcan matador holding a 17-9 edge all-time, 7-2 in Grand Slams. The meeting is notable, con...

Don't Correct Michael Strahan's Grammar Or He May Suggest You Suck Your Dad's Dick
This is purportedly a series of Twitter direct messages sent from Michael Strahan to one Lindsey Koehler after the exchange in the above gallery....

Some Guy From Queens Apparently Got Eli And Peyton Manning Tattooed On His Hairy Ass
Writes tipster Derek B., "My buddy got this tattoo Eli giving Peyton a noogie today. He's a huge Giants fan."...

This Is One Of Few Quotes That Improves A Story About A Man Who Stole 10,000 Pairs Of Panties
"He smelled them all the time even while driving," said police Major General Saroj Promcharoen. [Daily Telegraph] (H/T Fox5)...

As Cop-Kicker Mugshots Go, This One's Sadly Artistic
"Medena Jones, while driving a green Jeep Grand Cherokee, reportedly hit a parked car and drove away at about 1:50 p.m., according to Manassas police Sgt. Eddie Rivera. Police found Jones driving her car, reportedly intoxicated ... soon afterward. Jones apparently kicked two police officers while a...

It Seems As If The Big Yankees Fan Has Mentally Left The Ball Park
Explains Michael Lapayower, "This is a parody of 'Sh*t Girls say.' All MLB Baseball fan's say Let's go (there favorite team name). I'm sure there's a bunch of things I didn't say. Leave them below in the comments."...

This Week In Great Quotes Linking Soccer Injuries To Sexual Frequency
"The girlfriend of German-Ghanaian footballer Kevin Prince Boateng has offered Italian media an unusual explanation for his recent thigh strain: the 24-year-old AC Milan midfielder loves sex too much. 'He's always [injured and unable to play] because we have sex seven to ten times a week,' model a...

Here's What Happened To That Batshit Crazy Benedictine University Recruiting Video (UPDATE)
UPDATE: The video is back!...

Tampa Bay Lightning Fire Mascot Who Was Tackled By Boston Fan
This is no laughing matter. You know it's a big story when the "10 News Investigators" are on the case. And there's a Facebook page in support of the cause. Free ThunderBug! [WTSP, via Puck Daddy]...

Not Even The Greek League Wants Matt Howard
Via David Woods: "Former Butler forward Matt Howard has been released by his Greek team, Olympiakos." Rest in peace, grit. We'll miss you....

Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person
I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling...

A J.P. Morgan Vice President Has Very Specific Tactical Plans For His Rec League Basketball Team
The latest entry in our overwrought emails series comes from the world of high finance... rec-league basketball. A vice president at J.P. Morgan in London is very enthusiastic about the upcoming season. But he's not gonna stand for his players flailing around on the court, like Mike D'Antoni might. ...