we Page 492 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is Encouraging, Wizards Fans: Andray Blatche Says Randy Wittman Is "The Same Coach As Flip"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the rudderless Wizards drift closer to the rocks....
Ravens Defensive Coordinator Chuck Pagano Is The New Colts Head Coach
So report Pro Football Talk and Bob Kravitz. He's the fourth Ravens DC to run a team in recent years. With forebears like Mike Nolan, Marvin Lewis, and Rex Ryan, Pagano's destined for 8-8!...
The New England Patriots Are Not Out For Revenge
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
This College Hockey Announcer Pauses, Ostensibly To Choose The Perfect Words, And Then Says "Dick Around With The Puck" (UPDATE)
Wisconsin played University of Minnesota-Duluth in December. The game, broadcast on the Big Ten Network, was a 3-3 tie. Somehow we only got this video now, courtesy of reader Daniel. Hey, beats Joe Micheletti....
Parents: Don't Put Any Goddamn Candy In The Goodie Bag
I go to a lot of children's birthday parties. These parties are virtually identical. You go to a gym, you take off your kid's shoes, you hand your kid over to the 19-year-old girl making $6 an hour and wearing a bright red or blue shirt with the name of the gym on it (PLAY ZONE! GYMTASTIC! BALLS AND...
Ray Lewis's Postgame Speech Might Actually Make You Feel Sorry For The Ravens
You know what's boring? The scene in a winning locker room. The real holy grail is seeing a team after they've just been kicked in the balls, like Baltimore after their heartbreaking loss at Foxboro on Sunday. The Ravens uploaded video of Ray Lewis's speech to his teammates, in which he praises Fl...
Madonna's Halftime Act Will Reportedly Be "Bringing Gay To The Super Bowl"
At least that's what the New York Daily News' gossip moles overheard one of her dancers say at a party the other night. But before James Dobson can shift uncomfortably in his chair to craft a press release, somebody really ought to tell him Madonna's 20 years behind the times....
Clint Dempsey Is Better At Soccer Than You, And Every Other American Ever
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...
A Plea To Joe Posnanski: Stop Writing Mealy-Mouthed Nonsense About Joe Paterno
Sports Illustrated's Joe Posnanski is in a tough spot. He's a gifted writer and by all appearances a decent guy. His decency is his defining characteristic; he grew up rooting for doomed Cleveland teams and covered the worthless Kansas City Royals, but he never gave in to the urge to be a hatchet ma...
Oh, God, "Sources" Are Already Bullshitting Reporters About LeBron Leaving Miami
Here's the mind-bending scenario, as outlined by Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio: LeBron is unhappy about being persona non grata in Cleveland, he's unhappy fans around the country have been booing him, and he's unhappy about something in particular with his current digs in South Beach:...
A Chronicle Of Doing It: Nike And Destruction
Republished with permission from The Classical....
A Slapshot To The Ear Can Do Some Serious Damage (NSFW)
On Saturday, during an off-day practice in Pittsburgh, Alex Ovechkin took a shot on net. It went high, caromed around off the glass, and struck Matt Hendricks directly in the ear. Above is the "after" picture. The graphic photo below shows the damage: an inch-long gash in the cartilage....
Oregon High School Basketball Player Is Really, Really Excited About The League Game He Just Won
The Springfield (Ore.) Times is where you should go for this news:...
It Sounds Like The Bruins Are Ready To Say Goodbye To Tim Thomas, Free Citizen
When Tim Thomas declined to accompany the Bruins to the White House, he was quick to assure everyone that "this was not about politics." Well, guess what Tim, now it's about something even more important: hockey. ...
Novak Djokovic Gives Appropriately Stupid Answer To Jim Courier's Incredibly Stupid Question
The television networks employ former athletes as analysts because of the uncommon insight they can offer from having been there. Those ex-athletes will, on occasion, uphold their end of the bargain by informing us of something we might not have known or understood without the benefit of their per...
This Vancouver Canucks Fan Is Proud To Be Dating An Edmonton Fan
Your morning roundup for Jan. 25, the day we learned oral sex may or may not kill you. Photo via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Whatever You're Doing With Your Life, It's Not As Awesome As The Athletes In This Recruiting Video
I don't care where you matriculated, what you studied, or what honors you graduated with. If you didn't go to Benedictine University, your degree is now useless. ...
Larry Nance Jr.'s Jumpman Slam Was The Spitting Image Of Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan's the name most people associate with the NBA Slam Dunk Contest, but few remember it was Larry Nance who won the 1984 inaugural edition of the competition. Nance's son (who had plenty of opportunities as a youth to watch Jordan style over his dad's Cavaliers) now plays for Wyoming a...
The State Of The Union Is Punchy In Front Yards, Trailer Parks And Beyond (NSFW)
Per YouTube uploader kustomcougar, "Cocky neighbor gets his big mouth shut after constant harassment. Then he throws a rock at my brothers truck."...
This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
This week's dong-submission cavalcade starts with Kent B.'s folks's Irish Wolfhound. His name is Presley. He's a good pooch....