we Page 499 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Big Baby Depantses Self, Gets Called For A Technical
Is it depantses or pantses? Or just pants? Whatever it is, Glen Davis did it to himself a la Steve Lyons, and it earned him a technical foul—one about which he's visibly confused. [Sun Sports]...

Rob Lowe Refuses To Confirm Or Deny Rob Lowe's Report That Peyton Manning Is Retiring
This just in, from Lowe's manager, Alan Nierob:...

If Hillary Clinton Farted Near Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, This Is Probably What It Would Look Like
Abdul-Jabbar — bearing a copy of his new book — was in Washington today to be officially named a United States global Cultural Ambassador. He and Clinton posed for photos, the only one of which that matters at right....

Fernando Torres Gets Cuckolded, And Other Videos Of Note From Last Weekend's Premier League Action
As NFL football winds down, are you ready for some ... EPL football? From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. These won't necessarily be goal videos. These may not even be highlights. These will merely be momen...

Messi Had A Hand In Barça's 2-1 Win Over Real Madrid—A Hand That Pepe Stepped On
Despite Cristiano Ronaldo's opening goal, Barcelona claimed the first leg of their Copa del Rey quarterfinal against Real Madrid on a Eric Abidal goal set up by Lionel Messi—a goal that came ten minutes after Real's Pepe stomped on Messi's hand in an act that sent commentator Ray Hudson into apop...

Ticket Prices For The Next Wizards Home Game Have Jumped 60 Percent In One Day ... To $3.99
Those same seats for Friday's game against the Nuggets were going for just $2.50 yesterday afternoon. Which was way up from the 30 cents apiece a few guys shelled out to see the Raptors last week. At just under four bucks a pop, you too can catch Wizards fever. I think. [StubHub]...

New Orleans Police Are Officially Looking For The Teabagger
New Orleans cops now believe an act of sexual battery has occurred in the Krystal teabagging incident, and are seeking the public's help in finding a "person of interest." WWL has the full wanted poster, while the Times-Picayune reports police won't say if the victim is cooperating. WVUE in New Orl...

Peyton Manning's Dad, Agent Deny Rob Lowe's Exclusive Report About Peyton Manning's Retirement
That's their take on it, anyway. We'll withhold judgment until we find out what Gedde Watanabe knows. [PFT]...

Disney's ESPN's Bill Simmons Has Committed 98 Potential SOPA Violations On Grantland So Far
ESPN's just one of the prominently featured supporters of SOPA, the law that has your favorite non-Deadspin sites going black today....

Mike Tyson First Met Muhammad Ali In Juvie
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tyson won't forget that first encounter....

Exclusive: Molly Ringwald Refuses To Confirm Or Deny Rob Lowe's Report That Peyton Manning Is Retiring
As you would have expected, I've been working the phones all afternoon trying to confirm Rob Lowe's bombshell report that Colts quarterback Peyton Manning will retire today. But Lowe's scoop blindsided the NFL media, so we decided against mining traditional sources for news. We went to the people wh...

Scrappy White Guys: Not Just For Baseball Anymore
NBA.com released its annual GM survey, and there's a cornucopia of fun little items, like the fact that nobody would want to build a franchise around Kobe, but they want him taking the last shot. Tucked in at the bottom is one vaguely worded question: "Which player does the most with the least?" The...

Cristiano Ronaldo Went Five-Hole And Drew First Blood In <em>El Clásico</em>
It's a Copa del Rey quarterfinal matchup between Real Madrid and Barcelona, one on which Cristiano Ronaldo made an early mark with this nifty goal between the legs of Barça's José Manuel Pinto. [GOLTV]...

Unknown Philly Sports Radio Guy Pulls Celebrity Card, Punches Cab Driver To Avoid $5 Fare
Never heard of Tom Byrne? You mean, you didn't know he hosts a nighttime show on one of Philly's sports-talk radio stations? Come on. What's wrong with you? You're seriously not aware he's been described as "undoubtedly an up-and-coming sports radio personality"? No way. Really? Tom Byrne is a pret...
![Peyton Manning Will Retire Today, Reports ... Rob Lowe [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17fxy9elg3zcojpg.jpg)
Peyton Manning Will Retire Today, Reports ... Rob Lowe [UPDATE]
Tweets the Parks and Recreation and West Wing actor: "Hearing my fave, #18 Peyton Manning will not return to #NFL. Wow." We'd tell you to be wary, after Jermaine Dupri mistakenly reported that Dwight Howard to the Nets was a done deal, but this is Rob Lowe. He's so handsome....

We Are Running Out Of Athletes Named Bob
The estimable Jon Bois has an exhaustive study up at SBNation today about how there is only one active athlete in major American professional and college sports named Bob. (It's not Sura.) There used to be a lot. RIP, Bob....

9 Things I Learned In The Parent Encouragement Program, AKA Shitty Parents Anonymous
The Parent Encouragement Program is a series of classes and workshops that are available to parents living in the D.C. area. The introductory class is free, and so I went a couple of weeks ago, because it didn't cost anything and because I need all the help I can get. The title of the workshop was "...

It's Been Almost A Year Since His Last Sentence, So Pacman Jones Naturally Got Another Year Of Probation For Something Unrelated
It's not like Pacman Jones is a real symbol of oppression in America. He's made several million dollars in his career to play cornerback in the NFL, and not all that well. (To wit.)...

Craig James's Senate Campaign Is Going About As Poorly As You Expected It To Go
The Houston Chronicle has the former ESPN analyst polling lower than Michele Bachmann in Iowa in his run for a Texas U.S. Senate seat. When James made his intention to run known last month, his "name recognition" figured to be among his assets. So how's that working out?...

Sad Packers Fan Is Less Sad, More Sober Today
Casey Lewis is the 24-year-old Wauwatosa, Wis., resident who found internet fame with a tearstained, semi-comprehensible meltdown on the way home from a bar after the Packers' loss to the Giants. She's cleaned herself up and is doing the media circuit, going on Milwaukee radio and doing an intervi...