we Page 509 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Thierry Henry Scored For Arsenal In His Homecoming Match To Put Them Up 1-0 On Leeds
Call it a fairytale, call it destiny, don't call it offside (which he was, most definitely) but Thierry Henry scoring for Arsenal—where he scored a club-record 226 goals between 1999 and 2007—is a story from the pages of British pulp fiction. That he scored the deciding goal in the Gunners' FA Cu...

Uncivil: How Paul Finebaum Keeps The SEC's Dixie Aroused
The Southeastern Conference (SEC) is the brawniest thing in college football right now, and a scrawny man, Paul Finebaum, sits atop it....

<em>SportsCenter</em> Sought On-Air Advice From Someone Named "Jizzy48"
We noted last week the 2pm Eastern SportsCenter has become a playground for the surreal, one anchors Chris McKendry and John Buccigross tend to enhance—if not outright endorse—with their quick wits and solid rapport....

With New OT Rules, Demaryius Thomas Didn't Realize The Game Was Over
So, this new playoff overtime. It's more fair, but it's also confusing. This is because hypotheticals are confusing, and I would rather have Phil Simms orgasm an explanation after the fact than have to keep in mind multiple scenarios while the game is still going on. The new, non-sudden death OT can...

City Of New York Cancels Mutton-Bustin', Rodeo's Greatest Event
The scores of finance bros and curious onlookers who crowded into Madison Square Garden for the arena's annual dabble in rodeo over the weekend did not get an authentic picture of the tradition. They had overpriced pints of light beer and Cracker Jacks; some, I'm sure, had worn plaid and cowboy hats...

Dustin Penner Is Out With Pancake-Related Back Spasms
The L.A. Kings winger missed Saturday's game, and is questionable for tonight. He's still trying to get over a recent onset of back spasms, triggered by an insidiously hearty breakfast....
![Son Of Packers Offensive Coordinator Is Missing, Believed To Have Fallen Into Icy River [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f0llecbskrrjpg.jpg)
Son Of Packers Offensive Coordinator Is Missing, Believed To Have Fallen Into Icy River [UPDATE]
A rescue team in Oshkosh, Wis., is searching the icy waters of the Fox River for a person reported to have fallen in, while police are looking for a missing man they have identified as Michael T. Philbin. According to local reports, Philbin is the 21-year-old son of Green Bay Packers offensive coor...

Black-Hatted Mystery Man And Alleged Scorecard Meddler At Amir Khan Fight Identified
The boxing world was abuzz last week with the revelation that a gentleman in an extremely shady black hat might have interfered with judges' scorecards while ringside at the Amir Khan-Lamont Peterson fight in Washington, D.C. in December. At least that's what the Khan camp alleged. (Khan lost both h...

Barry Larkin Will Make The Hall Of Fame, According To "Exit Poll"
The 2012 Baseball Hall of Fame inductees will be announced at 3 p.m. Eastern. But there's no need to wait for the official numbers to be announced, as more than a hundred BBWAA voters have already published and defended their ballots. This indispensable spreadsheet collecting all the ballots made pu...

Todd Bozeman Is In Trouble Again, This Time For (Maybe) Hitting One Of His Players
That would be the same Todd Bozeman whose once-promising coaching career hit a snag when he was at Cal in the mid-1990s because he admitted he had paid a recruit's family $30,000. The affair kept Bozeman away from the college game for 10 years after the NCAA slapped him with a show-cause penalty, b...

Are NFL Coaches Getting Smarter About Fourth-Down Strategy?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The Secret Service Says Delonte West Was Never Banned From The White House
When he wasn't playing basketball games this weekend, Delonte West spent his days engaged in leisurely Twitter meltdowns: He complained about his salary and his team, and related it all to the media's portrayal of him since his arrest in 2009. He also singled out one particular writer who he says ne...

Yes, That Is Mark Cuban Wearing A Suit
The Dallas Mavericks (minus Delonte West) are getting the NBA Champions' treatment at the White House today, which for coach Rick Carlisle means a chance to tickle the ivories....

ShortCenter: The Denver Broncos' Big Win, Reduced To Buzzwords
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Teamwork Results In One Of The Greatest Cricket Catches You'll Ever See
From New Zealand domestic competition, Central Districts' Bevan Small corrals the ball as he sails over the boundary rope, and flips it back to Michael Mason to save the six. Cricket!...

The Falcons Need Some New Fourth-Down Plays
The cat-and-mouse game of defensive scheming decided both playoff matches yesterday, but in different ways. In Denver, the Steelers stacked the box, daring Tim Tebow to throw. He did. But at the Meadowlands, on a pair of fourth down conversions, the Falcons telegraphed a pair of sneaks up the middle...

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Appear To Be Setting The Bar High In Their Coaching Search
Per Chris Mortensen, the Bucs will have an interview tomorrow with 68-year-old Marty Schottenheimer, who hasn't coached in the NFL since 2006. Guess they figure they have to reach the playoffs before they can lose in them. [via]...

Holly Rowe's Been In The Interview-Muscle Racket For Years
We brought you video last week of Holly Rowe giving the Worldwide Leader's Elbow to an as-yet-unidentified reporter after the Sugar Bowl. It's no secret Rowe can be aggressive in protecting her employer's interests (ESPN uses its own monetary muscle to shut out other media outlets from the best po...

The Steelers Overestimated Tim Tebow Before They Underestimated Him
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Harvey Updyke Jr. On Bourbon Street, Where There Are No Trees For Him To Poison
Your morning roundup for Jan. 9, the day we learned another way to open a beer bottle. Photo via @IzzyGould. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....