we Page 579 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Back-to-back wins over undefeated 1A 6 Man 1 Region III District 9 (6 Man) teams were not meant to be for the mighty Knox City Greyhounds who suffered a 72-50 loss to the mightier Throckmorton Greyhounds. This, after Chad emerged from the tunnel at a pep rally to Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lad...

Today In Fatal, Taser-Involved Gold's Gym Rampage News
Normally, this would just be a paragraph from a news article, complete with a link to the media outlet from which it was quoted. But the Tale of Chad Brothers of Troy is so amazingly amazing that that just won't cut it. That photo came from his Facebook page which he apparently opened, oh, a day ea...

Nebraska Volleyball Player/Coach's Daughter With Suspended License Hits Two Motorcyclists, Takes Off
Per the Omaha World-Herald, a witness reported that University of Nebraska Husker volleyball star "Lauren Cook's expression left no doubt she knew she had struck two people on a motorcycle in north Lincoln before fleeing the scene."...

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Paul is a grad student down at Rice. He noticed this picture on the front page of the student newspaper, the Thresher....

Toledo Frat Boy Surprisingly Consumed With Informing You About His Penis
There's been plenty of scoring in the first quarter of MACtion between NIU and Toledo—the Huskies lead 21-14 early, helped by two Tommylee Lewis kickoff return TDs— but this Toledo fratter's looking for some scoring of his own, from the looks of his sign and the very subtle crotch-grab with which ...

Rex Ryan Honors Joe Namath By Wearing His Jersey; Joe Namath Responds By Calling Rex Ryan A Fat Mess
For some reason, seemingly everything Broadway Joe says about the current Jets makes news in New York, where The Guarantee is something of a Sermon on the Mount for aging sportswriters. Namath has been especially critical this season of Rex Ryan, questioning the Jets' preparation on one occasion an...

(NSFW) Remembering Humphries-Kardashian: A Video Tribute To An American Romance
We did this after Kim split with Reggie Bush, so it's the least we could do for sad-sack power forward Kris Humphries, who seems hellbent for humiliation by the Kardashian media machine until he signs the damn divorce papers. I mean, seriously: when Mr. and Mrs.Humphries show up on TMZ to beg Kim ...

This Evening: Instead Of The Start Of The NBA Season, There's Chris Paul On <em>Family Feud</em>
Your p.m. roundup for Nov. 1, the day we HOLY SHIT STILETTO IMPLANTS. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

UNC And Michigan State Will Wear Ugly Camo Uniforms In Game On Aircraft Carrier
Now is as good of a time as any to remind the world that in just a week and a half, two premier college basketball programs will be playing an actual game that will actually count on a giant aircraft carrier on the water in San Diego. And they'll be doing so, it turns out, in camouflage jerseys that...

Tony La Russa Made Up His Mind About Retiring In August
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: John Mozeliak has kept a secret since the summer....

Mark Brunell Is Broke
How did Brunell, with 18 NFL seasons under his belt and more than $50 million in earnings, find himself with comically turned inside-out pocket? Pretty much the same way all broke professional athletes lose their money: a series of bad investments, including a failed Whataburger franchise....

The Jets Are Being Babies About Their Thursday Night Game
Mike Mayock says the Jets are "upset" and "frustrated" at being the only team to play a Thursday night game after a Sunday night game (instead of after a Sunday afternoon game) when they head to Denver in week 11. So just a heads-up now: if the Jets lose to a hapless Broncos team, they're going to c...

Canadian Sportscaster Does Entire Report In Two-Face Costume
Nothing says legitimate newsgathering operation like anchors in costume, and here's CHEX-TV (Peterborough, Ontario) sports anchor Tyler Calver dressed as Batman villain Two-Face, though I'd like to think he's dressed as ESPN's conflicting business and editorial responsibilities....

Andrew Luck Is More Of A Sure Thing Than Peyton Manning
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Andre Agassi Is: Mr. T
This one comes courtesy of Dylan Stableford, Deadspin's tennis correspondent, who found it on Australian tennis coach Darren Cahill's Twitter feed. Andre Agassi seems to have borrowed Raffi Torres's burnt cork for this one. All the loving attention to detail—the darkened arms, the feather dangling f...

A Lesson In Dealing With Friends Who Suck At The Internet
Your letters:...

Patriots Player, Dressed As A Cop, Was Charged With Indecent Assault And Battery On Halloween Night
New England Patriot Julian Edelman was charged with indecent assault and battery on a woman early this morning. He is due in Boston Municipal Court for an arraignment today. Hopefully, since he was taken into custody at a Back Bay nightclub at about 1:30 this morning, he has had the opportunity to c...

A Muppet Interfered On WWE Raw Last Night
Back in the early 90s, wrestling was criticized as being for kids. Characters were cartoonish, issues were black and white, storylines were g-rated. Then the Attitude Era came, and realism and edginess were prized. In 2011, Beaker helps an Italian stereotype win a match....

Hugging A Member Of The Opposite Hockey Team After Scoring A Goal Will Probably Get You Punched In The Face
And we all have Henrik Eriksson of Mora IK in Sweden to thank for that demonstration. [SportsGrid, via Puck Daddy]...

Australia's Biggest Horse Race Was Won By A Nose Hair
Today is the Melbourne Cup, Australia's richest turf race and an event so big, they can hold it at 3pm on a Tuesday. The winner was Dunaden, but holy shit not by much. The French-trained horse beat out Red Cadeaux by the slimmest of margins, and judges pored over the photo finish for three minutes b...