we Page 584 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Sampling Of Comments ESPN.com Has Not Deleted On Stories That Have Nothing To Do With OccupyTebow
We're all still warm from the glow of the uprising that sent ESPN.com's commenter police into retreat—a remarkable, joyful march that continues unimpeded even as this is being typed. At the same time, we couldn't help but think of those comments ESPN's moderators have allowed to remain attached to ...

Craig James Recommends You Not Watch <em>SportsCenter</em>; Rest Of Nation Recommends You Not Watch Craig James
If ESPN analyst Craig James were a football coach—as opposed to someone who allegedly gets football coaches fired—he'd tell athletes not to watch SportsCenter, because "highlight culture" promotes "reckless handling of the football." ESPN's lead Thursday announcer Rece Davis, who must have done so...

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: It's Called The Big Ten, Not The Top Ten
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

Peyton Hillis Can't Get On The Field, Can't Sweet-Talk The Ladies, And Can't Take A Hint From His Teammates
More news about romantic newlywed and attitudinal Browns halfback Peyton Hillis. His teammates have had just about enough of Hillis's sulky, mopey, screwy behavior. Some have taken to jeering at him. Others have tried to rescue him, according to Michael Silver at Yahoo:...

3,000 Cards Fans Will Now Claim The Autographed Hat A Cubs Fan Found On The Highway
Did you lose a 2011 World Series championship cap autographed by Cardinals players somewhere on I-74 in central Illinois recently? Of course you did. A Cubs fan found it, and now he wants to return it to its rightful owner—you: "He says whoever comes forward will have to know about an unexpected sig...

The Death Of A Former Football Player At An Underground Fight In A Church Has, Somehow, Resulted In A Lawsuit
The church along the Broken Arrow Expressway in Tulsa is of the Christian-capitalist mega-variety. You know the deal: rock shows, slick website, a gift shop, deadly unsanctioned boxing fights. One such fight on Sept. 21, 2011, allegedly resulted in the death of George Clinkscale, who played lineback...

How Many Times Have We Farted In Human History? A Very Rough Calculation
I was sitting next to my friend on a bus the other day. He farted. It got us thinking: How many farts have there been in human history?...

Tony Reali Does His Best Henry Hill In <i>Around The Horn</i>'s Stellar <i>Goodfellas</i> Tribute
Reali and the ESPN crew pay homage to the famous tracking shot in Goodfellas (which was really just Scorcese fucking with Brian De Palma). It's masterfully done....

Low-Budget Pitbull Imitator Produces Nauseating "Do The Mark Sanchez" Video
There aren't too many lyrics here, other than "do the Mark Sanchez," and "heart of a champion," so it's hard to dispute their words with statistical evidence. (Of note: the call-and-response here is "Who's number one?" "We number one!" But "we" could really be the Jets or the performers.) Mark San...

Eighth Grade Is For Kids: Scouting America's Top-Ranked 15-Year-Old Basketball Stars
It's a Sunday in October, and Baruch College in Gramercy is hosting campus tours. In the basement lobby just off of the main gym, high school students and their parents, sometimes trailing younger siblings, walk through, following a college student who's walking backwards. Should they come to Baruch...

Service Academy Football Rivalries Are Just As Good For Dick Jokes
According to the Cadet Third Class (that's Air Force for 'sophomore'!) who sent this along, a big wank-y banner has been hung in the Air Force Academy's dining hall ahead of tomorrow's big Army game. Is this the type of young men we want waging our wars in the future? Deadspin says: god yes....

Yeah, That's A Rangers 2011 World Champs Tattoo
Add another to the ever-expanding world of premature Texas sports tattoos. I would like to think this fellow got his ink done with two outs in the ninth in game 6. The best part is the Mavs trophy tattoo next to it—almost (almost) makes me wish the Heat had come back to win that one. [Big League Ste...

Floyd Mayweather Isn't Ducking Manny Pacquaio; He's Being Persecuted, Or Something
Floyd Mayweather Jr. didn't take too kindly to Sirius radio host Rude Jude's accusation that he's afraid to fight Manny Pacquiao. So Mayweather decided to call Jude's show yesterday, at the urging of 50 Cent, and you can listen to the audio above. Mayweather never directly addresses the issue at h...

Persian Awakening In Perry Hall: Uptight Mullahs Forced To Reverse Decision On Soccer Team's Bernie Dance
Yesterday, we brought you news that the Grand Ayatollah of Perry High School in Maryland had cancelled the boys varsity soccer season after players did the Bernie on the field. The dance was deemed "unacceptable" by the Grand Ayatollah, who also goes by the name Principal George Roberts....

America Likes LSU Tomorrow; Vegas Doesn't
Alabama is at -4.5 offshore and in most of Vegas, and that hasn't come down much despite the vast majority of bettors backing LSU—75 percent by one estimate. But it's all "$20 and $50 bets." The big money has withheld judgment so far....

Peyton Hillis Can't Get On The Field And He Sure As Hell Can't Sweet-Talk The Ladies
Peyton Hillis on his marriage last week: "I've always been a guy on the down-low about things. I try to get things done that I want to get done. It was something I really wanted to get done." [The Plain Dealer] [H/T Israel M.]...

Even Criminal Lobbyist Jack Abramoff Lectured Dan Snyder About The Redskins Name, Likening It To "The New York Jew Boys"
Scumbag lobbyist and George Bush leg-humper Jack Abramoff has a self-serving book out called Capital Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist. In the book, which you should not buy, Abramoff details his relationship with Dan Snyder, whom Abramoff ...

The Spinning Magic Of Left-Footed Punters
Why did the Saints, Chargers, and Ravens—three teams with above-average punters—all work out free agent punters last week? No, it's not because any of those teams is scapegoating their punter for the whole team's jaw-dropping inconsistency. Rather, they wanted to practice against left-footed punters...

ShortCenter: LSU-Alabama, Endlessly
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Jurgen Klinsmann Needs 90 Words To Say Nothing
With friendlies against France and Slovenia looming, the U.S. men's soccer team will start getting blooded against stronger competition. Jurgen Klinsmann continues to tinker with lineups and test out new players, so we can't fault him too much for the 1-1-3 record he's compiled to date. But don't th...