we Page 631 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cristiano Ronaldo Thinks He Knows Why You're Heckling Him, May Be Right
"I think that because I am rich, handsome and a great player people are envious of me. I don't have any other explanation." [Guardian]...

In West Virginia, Even The Old Ladies Spit On Opposing Football Players
Another day, another affecting tale of the pristine image of fans at West Virginia University. At least according to Maryland lineman A.J. Francis, who informed the Washington Post of how deep his family's roots in the Mountain State go before he then shared this heartwarming little story:...

This Is The Kind Of Horrible Surgery NFL Players Will Go Through To Play
Tampa Bay's Brian Price has a congentially malformed pelvis, and last season he injured himself picking up a tennis ball. This is what he went through:...

You Can Now Buy The Amarillo Sox Mascot That Had A Huge Erection
The Amarillo Sox Sock had one priapic night in the spotlight, before being consigned to the bottom of the hamper of history. Now the independent league Sox are auctioning off the outfit, presumably for use in sex pervert games, with all proceeds going to charity. [eBay]...

Let's Go Deep Inside The Spine Of Peyton Manning
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Finally, A Chance To Dress Up Like The Super Bowl Grounds Crew
This week's excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen podcast deals with an auction of sports memorabilia that includes, for the first time, Super Bowl grounds crew attire. There are pullover shirts. But there are no NFL-branded lawnmowers. Of course, Roger Goodell has plenty of time to develop corpor...

Rick Reilly Ate Gross Stuff Off Of A Carpet In The Name Of Journalistic Integrity
In August, ESPN's Rick Reilly promised to "come to your house and eat things that are stuck in your carpet" if Peyton Manning didn't start in Week 1. He didn't, and so Reilly ate popcorn off of the floor at Sun Life Stadium earlier in the week....

Former Heavyweight Boxing Champ Hunts Yeti, Finds Self
This just in from remote Siberia: a giant hairy creature has been sighted gamboling about the mountains in the Kemerovo Region. The creature is, surprisingly, not Nikolai Valuev (above, left). It is, rather, the Kuzbass Bigfoot and it has been spotted several times near the Azass Cave of Mount Shori...

Cal Coaches Use Foolproof Technique To Connect With Their Team: White Person R&B
Oh god. I can't. This is almost too painful. Cal women's basketball held a team retreat last week, apparently in my grandfather's finished basement. Assistant coach Daron Park, with the rest of the coaching staff on backup, entertained the players with an altered Montell Jordan routine that really...

A Gruesome Wipe-Out Left This Surfer With Coral Lodged In Her Face
Keala Kennelly, a female pro surfer who is not—far as we know—a con artist, went under during a ride in Teahupoo, Tahiti at the end of August. She hit the reef so hard that the subsequent surgery was necessary in part to remove coral from her face. Video from the wipe-out was just released on Tues...

Can I Call You Back Later? There's A Foul Ball Screaming Toward My Head
This is the greatest catch, and no one seems to care. Where are the ovations? The panegyrics? Where is even the slightest acknowledgement from the announcers or the Texas crowd that this guy made a snap grab on a sharp line drive, without stirring or interrupting his phone conversation? Maybe it's...

The Indians' Shelley Duncan Made Leaping Catches At The Wall Three Straight Times Last Night
Your morning roundup for Sept. 15, the day we learned we're going to Mars. Photo via Big League Stew. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Tom Brady Wants Patriots Fans To Get Rowdy, "Lubed Up" On Sunday
Sunday's 4:15 p.m. game at Gillette Stadium is a big one for the home side. With the San Diego Chargers coming to town to face Tom Brady and the Patriots, the predictable "potential AFC Championship Game" angle is a repetitive inevitability....

Watch A Mom Jump Into A Fist Fight Between Her Daughter And Another 12-Year-Old Girl (NSFW)
"The Long Island woman arrested on charges she encouraged two 12-year-old girls, one of them her own daughter, to fight outside a local school is speaking out, saying she allowed the fight to protect her daughter....

Here Are Eight Mugshots Of Amish Guys With Odd Hair And Beards
Pictured here are "eight members of an Amish sect who were ordered jailed by a Kentucky judge after they refused to pay fines for failing to affix orange safety triangles to their horse-drawn buggies."...

Sadly, There Isn't Video Of Those Prison Guards Who Stabbed And Maced People At The Albuquerque Hooters
Per the KRQE report on shenanigans breaking out during Monday night's Broncos/Raiders game at an Albuquerque Hooters, police really don't know "what specifically set the brawl off." But that doesn't mean there are a lack of details about it....

Several Broncos Fans Plan To Spend Their Super Bowl Savings On "Start Tebow" Billboards
Some people might wait until Week Two to write off their professional football team's chances of a successful season. Jesse Oaks and his seven friends are not those people....

Presenting Footage Of Auburn's Eagle Mascot Crashing Into A Luxury Box Window
There are no concrete answers as to why Auburn University alum "Spirit" flew into a window at this past weekend's game against Mississippi State. As such, Harvey Updyke Jr. could have slipped it a roofie, but that would be treasonous, would it not?...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And Blistering Jerry Jones Take Down
You should have heard the excitement in Chad McGhee's tone during the weekly call. It was unparalleled in football analytica. Such is what one would expect when the mighty Knox City Greyhounds got off the schneid with a 47-0 victory over the Rule Bulldogs....

If You're In Manhattan On Sunday And Would Like To Watch Football With Us, Please Stop By, Penis Breathers
Twice per month, Deadspin readers will be able to congregate and watch football in peace: no more screaming babies, nagging significant others, noisy pet hamsters or any other weekend distraction that's made your Sunday game-watching experience miserable. ...