we Page 637 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michele Tafoya Seems To Be Staring At Whatever Al Michaels Finds So Funny
Your morning roundup for Sept. 9, the day we didn't realize we were on the air. Photo courtesy Getty Images, via Homer Bush. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Reports Of NFL Special-Teams Excitement's Demise Were Probably Premature
As you can see from this video compiled by new guy Conor Hastings, Darren Sproles of the New Orleans Saints returned a punt 72 yards for a touchdown tonight. Shortly thereafter, Green Bay Packers rookie Randall Cobb did the same with a 108-yard kickoff return. To which Sproles said oh, ok, I'll ge...

Two Ladies Enter This Street Fight, One Leaves Topless (NSFW)
Thirty-two seconds into this Rockwellian portrait of a place called Trendwood, one participant in an apartment-complex parking-lot fracas places her breasts back into some sort of garment. They don't stay hidden very long, playing very prominent roles from 0:45-1:30....

A Man In "Crotchless Chaps-Style Spandex With His Genitals And Buttocks Showing" Played With Fire
There are bizarre police-beat stories, and there are really bizarre police-beat stories. This one from Seattle falls into the latter category. To wit:...

Carl Everett Was Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting A Member Of His Family
And it's not like he has a history of threatening to beat anyone up or doing anything like this before. [MyFoxDFW]...

Pig Poops On Own Balls (Photo NSFW Because Pig Is Pooping On Its Own Giant Balls)
Adjectives offered by Deadspin staff to describe the pig's balls: Large, weighty, absurd, massive, ponderous, colossal, tumescent, tumorous, pendulous, prodigious, balls heavy with hot pig bloatum. A.J.'s mostly concerned with the eggplant-sized poop. We all wonder if the pig might be sick, and we ...

This Evening: The Guy In The Blue Shirt Behind Brooklyn Decker Would Like You To Know He Plays With Himself
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 8, the day we learned a cow had died in Brooklyn. H/T to Brad for the U.S. Open photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Andy Roddick Totally Flipped Out Over The Court Still Being Wet At The U.S. Open (Video)
And ESPN's cameras captured much of his tirade, which was directed at tournament referee (and USTA pro circuit director) Brian Earley during Roddick's fourth-round match this afternoon against David Ferrer. The match eventually was moved to the much smaller, 584-seat Court 13, where Roddick won in a...

I Feel Bad About Peyton Manning's Neck
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

George W. Bush Will Narrate A Two-Minute Intro To An NFL Pregame Show On 9/11, And Not The Ones On CBS, NBC, Or ESPN
Via Deitsch: "Been told former President George W. Bush will narrate a 2-minute opening for Fox NFL Sunday on Sept. 11 at 12PM."...

Like The Real Thing, Fake Brett Favre Just Won't Go Away
First, he showed up at a Packers practice dressed in a Favre jersey and apparently signed a few autographs, which, for a day or two, made for a rather amusing story. Then, somebody interviewed him, and he was just so surprised at all the attention he received for showing up at a Packers practice dr...

The Bunt Home Run And The World-Famous Sneaker Company That May Not Exist
Seoul, Korea, 1982. A Korean baseball player, wearing Didibao shoes, lunges to bunt a ball at least two feet off the outside corner of the plate. He connects, and the ball takes off. Improbably, impossibly, it carries down the left field line, all the way for a home run. "Imagination has become re...

Nyjer Morgan Is Trying His Damnedest To Engage Albert Pujols In A Middle School Fight
Just about a month ago, we heard from the local broadcast crews as they reacted to the last Brewers-Cardinals skirmish (they were predictably biased). Last night, the two teams clashed again, and loveable kite enthusiast Nyjer Morgan was—predictably—at the center of it all....

Life Is Crap Without Something To Look Forward To. The Week 1 NFL Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Here Is Bill Walton Dressed As A Water Bottle, Because We Love You
There is a show called Shark Tank that exists. It has something to do with entrepreneurs and their business ideas and inventions, and Mark Cuban is on it sometimes, and he knows people in basketball. Therefore, here is Bill Walton dressed as a water bottle. [Twitter]...

Roger Goodell Is Shifting Liability Onto The Help
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Kid Shoots 20,317 Baskets Over Labor Day Weekend, Is Randomly The Son Of My Eye Doctor
Sometimes we get a tip in the ol' inbox here that speaks to us for personal reasons. Early this morning, one came in about Will Thomas, a 12-year-old seventh-grader in McLean, Virginia, who decided to spend his Labor Day weekend shooting baskets to raise money for the families of the 17 Navy SEALs k...

Pat White Now Joins A Storied History Of Mid-2000s West Virginia Football Failures
There's something that's a little dispiriting about what's happened to the 2005 West Virginia Mountaineers. Back then, they went 11-1, winning the Big East and the Sugar Bowl. Rich Rodriguez was their offensive whiz head coach, and Steve Slaton and Pat White made up the fastest backfield in college ...

Chris Kluwe And Nate Jackson Have Made Up
In August, former Broncos tight end Nate Jackson questioned in this space whether Vikings punter Chris Kluwe had the right to call Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Logan Mankins, and Vincent Jackson "douchebags."...

Missouri Western Footballers Save Baby's Life, Doom Baby To Life Of Missouri Western Fandom
With 17-month-old Liam Snook accidentally locked inside a hot car, vomiting and starting to pass out, it fell on two Missouri Western State D-backs who were just passing by to rescue the kid. They broke the window, got him out, and gave the family tickets to a game. Parents, please heed this warni...