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The Week In Deadspin
A selection of stories from the week we were seriously not confident....

No, Wait, Maybe <i>This</i> Is The Worst Thing Ever To Come Out Of Boston
Reader Jeremy took issue with our description of this morning's Bruins/Ke$ha abortion, and sent along this Stygian nightmare. Did you know the Patriots had a musical response to the "Super Bowl Shuffle?" Now you do....

Beer In The Stanley Cup Looks Like Piss: More From The Patrick Kane Collection
Would you believe it's been a year, to the week, of the Blackhawks capturing the most famous trophy in all of professional sports? To remind you what Vancouver and Boston are playing for, here are a couple new photos from Patrick Kane's time with the Stanley Cup. ...

This Has To Be One Of The Best Police Sketches In Art History
Make fun of La Eace's artistry all you want. That's fine. Immature, but fine. Just ask yourself first: Would anybody who's ever seen that chap not recognize him instantly, thus saving the 75-year-old woman who was "abducted in broad daylight from a busy open-air shopping mall parking lot" in Crestv...

The Canucks Fan Who Drove 1,000 Miles For A Game, Partied With The Owner, Drank With Beautiful Women, Nearly Died, And Got Comped For Game 5
This is the totally true* story of Danny, a 24-year-old Canucks fan who on the spur of the moment decided to drive from Vancouver to San Jose for Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals, and ended up wandering the streets in a hospital gown with no memory of the preceding nine hours....

Seattle Goes Streaking
Not one, not two, not three, but four enterprising and besotted Seattleites decided to run on the field in a single game this weekend. One even took the streaking part literally. (Warning: video provides copious-yet-blurry shots of bare man-ass, and the towel does eventually fall off.) And once ag...

FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs....

Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....

The Week In Deadspin
A selection of stories from the week we caught horse herpes....

Here's The Video Where LeBron James Takes Flopping To Heretofore Unseen Levels
Your morning roundup for May 27, the day it helps to have a background in mathematics if you want to work for Pauly Shore. Video H/T Allen W...

After Hooligan Runs On Pitch And Punches Goalie, Hooligan's Parents Worry About Vigilante Justice
Ever since their 18-year-old son stormed the pitch during a Malmö and Helsingborg match Tuesday because he was "pissed off" enough to attack goalkeeper Pär Hansson, a pair of Swedish parents have fielded quite a few threats. So, they wrote an open letter to the local paper. Their message?...

Here's Video Of Brett Favre Throwing A Little White Ball Hard In A Town Called Pearl
There's a place where Brett Favre is still adored and revered and considered a legend worthy of a standing ovation. So, of course he went there. Even threw out the first pitch of the Southern Miss Golden Eagles/Tulane game in the Conference USA Tournament "at the T.P."...

Phillies Infielder Throws 10-Pitch 19th Inning To Close Out Joey Votto And The Reds
Your morning roundup for May 26, the day after Disney realized that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to trademark American heroes for profit....

Narcs Decline Opportunity To Play Softball Against Druggies In Congressional Softball League
There's something called the Congressional Softball League in D.C. Among the teams in that league is one representing the Office of National Drug Control Policy. They go by the name Czardinals. Well, there's another team comprised of people from drug-policy reform organizations who "support ending ...

Rangers Ballpark Almost Got Swept Away By Tornadoes Last Night
During the wave of tornadoes that swept the Plains last night, a few touched down in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Damage and casualties were limited, but there were some scary moments as a line of storms approached Rangers Ballpark in Arlington in the middle of the game....

The Dead Wrestler Of The Week Archive
Brian "Crush" Adams (1964-2007): He played so many archetypes of '90s wrestling mythology that he became legendary at none, moving from persona to persona without fully leaving the last behind. No mention of his previous lives was made. He was a man without a history, unstuck in time. READ »...

Who Wants To Publicly Shame Some Gnome-Happy Brewers Fans?
The Brewers and the Milwaukee Parks Department teamed up to hide 1000 of these little Bernie Brewer gnomes along the Lakefront, with the public free to take one if they found it. Well, some folks got there at 3 a.m. and started taking as many as their cars could hold. And of course, they're selling ...

Ric Flair's WOOlogy For Randy Savage
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Nature Boy reminisces about Wrestlemania, and launches the Macho Man's candidacy for the...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: “Macho Man” Randy Savage
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: "Macho Man" Randy Savage, who died in a car accident Friday....

UPDATE: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $116.80 This Month, But He Has A Credit
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....