we Page 674 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup Of The Day (Video)
Two games today, two goals. Both of them in the first game. Bafana Bafana's Siphiwe Tshabalala knocked in a real beaut at the 55-minute mark, but Mexico's Rafael Marquez nailed the equalizer in the 79th. See, ties are fun....

Patrick Kane: A Portrait In Inebriation
Via NBC Chicago, here's a compilation of Kaner during the Blackhawks' victory parade today in Chicago. Watch him chug champagne, catch crowd beers, drink from the Cup, and slur his speech with the moxie of a 10-year veteran. Video inside....

Military's "Super Underwear" Will Save Your Butt
Scientists have developed some sort of electronic underoos that will be able to identify and heal injuries while you're wearing them. The genius behind this breakthrough? You guessed it: Nano-engineering professor Joseph Wang. [Reuters]...

Weightlifter Pukes Attempting 1,000-lb Squat
This man didn't successfully squat 1,008 pounds, but he did manage to vomit all over the judge before passing out. (Great job by the spotter at the end, btw.) Did I mention it was projectile vomiting? [LastAngryFan via WindyCitizen]...

Angry, Fan-Punching Mexican Wrestler Of The Week: This Guy
A luchadore's mask is very important. You can understand why La Parka punched this fan who tried to unmask him. After the fight, La Parka returned to his ancestral home: the cover of that one Offspring album. H/T The Masked Man....

Hope You've Already Had Lunch: A Blood Week <em>Blood Writes</em> Gallery To Close Out Blood Week
To end Blood Week, here is a gallery of some of the best Blood Writes we had left in the ol' inbox. All sic'd. And sick. You've been warned....

"It Looked Like A Butterflied Shrimp": A Cutman's Tour Of 12 Terrible Fight Wounds
We've already posted an ode to boxing's bleeders. Let us now look at the blood itself. We ask Jacob "Stitch" Duran, an elite cutman who's worked many thousands of bouts, to share a few memories of the foulest gashes he's ever plugged....

Blood Writes: I Bumped Into A Banana Crate
One of Deadspin's own has a gruesome tale to tell. This is the time that I bumped my leg at the bodega the other night....

Private Stache: Cassius Clay Has Blood On His Hands
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

The Hidden Menace That Is The Scrotal Hydrocele
I went to the doctor a while back because I thought I had a hernia. It turned out I had something far less serious, and yet somehow far more horrifying....

Blood Writes: "I Got Stabbed"
This issue of Blood Writes features Jason's story of being in the wrong parking lot at the wrong time....

Blood Writes: Hit By A Freaking Subway Train
Today, on Blood Writes, we bring you the story of Justin. Justin got hit by a fucking train....

Dead Wrestling Company Of The Week: Extreme Championship Wrestling
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Extreme Championship Wrestling, the notoriously bloody wrestling promotion that went bankrupt in 2001....

Premiership Team Unveils New Uniform Via Terrified Forced Striptease
Everton premiered their new away kit by having midfielder Jack Rodwell strip down to it. The backdrop, music and his expression make it look nothing so much like he's been sold into sex slavery....

The King Of The Ferret Leggers: The Classic Tale Of Sportsmen Who Put Carnivores Down Their Pants
In his new book, Rick Reilly writes at length about ferret legging, a bloody endurance competition wherein the athlete stuffs a ferret down his pants. In 1987, Outside's Donald Katz wrote the first, and still the best, ferret-legging account. Here it is....

Perhaps The Most Fascinating "Imperfect Game" Reaction You'll See
A West Virginia man, dipping and wearing short shorts, watches the ninth inning of Armando Galarraga's masterpiece with his young children. Hilarity ensues....

Blood Writes: "Hockey Stick To The Face"
Kinda wuss (only 20 stitches), but here you go…— Tom...

Blood Writes: "Cow crushed my thumb" (WARNING: STUPENDOUSLY GROSS)
About two months ago I was working at one of the farms at Ohio State and a cow went bat shit crazy crashing through one of the gates....

Man Sentenced For Killing Uncle In Drunken Sword Fight
Chris Rondeau of Indianapolis will spend the next 55 years in prison, after stabbing his uncle with a shin guntō after the man came at him with a sword. Rondeau's grandmother was also killed trying to break up the fight. [WTHR]...

Blood Writes: This Knee Has A Mouth (WARNING: PUS)
My knee after taking a nasty tumble trail running and the aftermath, 20 stitches later — Howard S....