we Page 686 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Floyd Mayweather Doesn't Believe In A Postracial America Either
Mayweather is going to get paid $5 million for his fight Saturday night, but he's a little unhappy with his treatment by the media and public. Dropping the N-bomb four times in four sentences unhappy....
The Prep School Piggy-Back Bandit Terrorizes Washington (UPDATE #2)
The developmentally disabled are a funny sort. Some can count dropped toothpicks and love The People's Court (those are fictional). Others are obsessed with mounting high school athletes....
The Relatively Short Goodbye Part II
Goodbye, cruel internet. Again....
Welcome Letter
Awwww shit, y'all – get out your slide rules and hide your daughters, because the bad boys of the internet are back! FJM in the motherhumping hizzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyy!...
Leodis McKelvin: "I Am Going To Do It Again"
Buffalo Bills fans learned how to deal with disappointment a long time ago, so today is just another Tuesday morning for them. When you've already lost 11 in a row to one team, No. 12 isn't such a big deal....
You May Now Commence Swooning
Summon the trumpets and cry the hosannas! Tackle football shall be played on the evening of the day following Sunday, and your beloved hero has returned to lead you home. Also, the Raiders will be involved....
Kyle Orton Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win more than others. Like Denver Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton, who won the weekend by not losing. (For Kyle Orton, that's quite an accomplishment.)...
Finally, The Harvard Crimson Will Get Some Media Attention
ESPNBoston is live. No, the URL does not just redirect to "Sports Guy's World." [ESPNBoston]...
A Weary Nation Turns to Cornholing for Leisurely Recreation
Occasionally a sport comes along that truly defines its era. Fittingly, as Barack Obama prepares to invade the South with an army of homosexuals who will sodomize every Republican's children and pets, cornholing is suddenly all the rage....
I Hope Your Team Wins At Sports This Weekend!
Thank you for letting me play in your sandbox today. I have no idea what any of you are talking about! That being said, you dudes were great. I hope it's not awkward when we run into each other later!...
Bob Arum: MMA Is Nothing But Skinheads, Homosexuals
If boxing wants to win the war against MMA, you know what it needs more of? Grumpy old white guys willing to provide insulting, homophobic, possibly racist rants about its rival audience. Take it away, Bob Arum!...
If You Have A Heart Left, This Story Will Touch It
This one's for you cynical bastards, inured to a summer of miserable stories. With the death of a high school football player's grandmother, the only parent he ever knew, he gained two new foster fathers: his coaches....
Wait ... Is That Boxer Drinking His Own Urine?
Yep. He sure is. That's Juan Manuel Marquez, who apparently ends his workouts by pissing into a cup and the chug-a-lugging the whole thing. I think HBO may be taking this "24/7" thing too far....
Baseball Pretends To Be Appalled By Prince Fielder's Home Run Celebration
Prince Fielder and his Brewers teammates, who celebrated Sunday's walk-off victory over the Giants with a little Jerome Robbins number, now stand accused of excessive immodesty by the Holy Church of Baseball People Who Need To Lighten The Hell Up....
Ernie Harwell Diagnosed With Incurable Cancer
"We don't know how long this lasts. It could be a year, it could be much less than a year, much less than a half a year. Who knows? Whatever's in store, I'm ready for a new adventure." [Free Press]...
Bruce Bowen Retires To Focus On Cutthroat Hair Salon Business
Three-time NBA Champion Bruce Bowen is calling it a career at age 38. That should given him plenty of time to bum rush San Antonio hair spas and berate former employees for stealing his business....
Wes Helms Gets Off When You Fight
On Wednesday, a shouting match between Hanley Ramirez and Dan Uggla seemed to foretell the 2009 collapse of the Florida Marlins. The clubhouse was imploding along with the team's slim wild card hopes—just as Wes Helms had planned...
Vin Scully Talks A Lot, Science Proves
The quants at the Wall Street Journal, continuing their whimsical efforts to reduce the sporting universe to a ranked list, have scientifically determined which of our baseball broadcasters is the chattiest. And, somehow, it isn't Michael Kay....
It's Going To Be A Fun Year In South Bend
This mysterious billboard was erected in South Bend this week, just across the street from the Notre Dame campus. Oh, that's sweet of Irish fans to throw their support behind beleaguered head coach Charlie Weis like....heyyyyyy, wait a second!...