we Page 691 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joe Morgan Clarifies One Fib, Possibly Tells Another
As you know, Joe Morgan, the human sic, told a bit of a stretcher during last Sunday's broadcast. Yesterday, he clarified the matter in a way only Joe Morgan could. By maybe lying again....

What We Learned About The 2009 Wimbledon Champion
"Every tennis lover would like, someday, to play like Federer," Philippe Bouin tells Cynthia Gorney of The New York Times Magazine for this week's cover story. "But every man wants to be Rafael Nadal. Which is different."...

It's U.S. Open Week And Everyone Needs Takeouts, So...
...let's write about how hard putting is. That hacker on your local muni, the one with the yips? Not so different from the winner at Bethpage Black, if they ever play. They worry about words like joule, though. [WSJ]...

Wisconsin Actually Has An Inspired Sense Of Humor
These shirts have been popping up all over Green Bay, given the news that their former quarterback is talking to the Vikings and considering another comeback. [Sconnie]...

The U.S. Open Is Open For Business
You were probably hoping that following the U.S. Open online would be a nice distraction from work today, but they just suspended play due to heavy rain. Hey, who wants to hear Tiger Woods cuss on teevee?...

Is It Bad When An Interview Subject Chokes You Into Unconsciousness?
Here's a note to aspiring journalists. If you're ever interviewing a boxer, mixed martial artist, or pro wrestler, never ask them about the strength (or veracity) of their most punishing moves. They might decide to "demonstrate" on you without asking....

Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show
Even if your cable package went out last night, you've probably heard about the rather tepid debut of "Joe Buck Live." Tepid, until Howard Stern joke monkey Artie Lange destroyed everything Joe Buck holds dear on live television....

It Wasn't So, Joe
Top of the eighth. Cliff Lee has just given up his first hit of the game to the Cardinals, a double to right. Up in the booth, Joe Morgan decides to tell a story. You know where this is going....

The Unfortunate Ambushing Of Jerod Morris' Raul Ibanez Post
The "acceptance" of sports bloggers took a nasty nosedive yesterday afternoon when Jerod Morris of Midwest Sports Fans was thrown into the Outside The Lines sausage maker for a little mainstream media, Inc. beat down....

REMETEE Owner Passes Up Opportunity To Humiliate Desperate Women On National Television
Fact: Ryan Braun was asked to be on "The Bachelor." Fact: He said 'no thanks.' [Wisn.com]...

Owen Daniels Uses Facebook To Negotiate New Contract With Texans
Owen Daniels, Houston Texans tight end and perennial fantasy sleeper, has taken his dissatisfaction with his current contract public to both friends and strangers across America on his Facebook page....

David Wells Turned Down Jose Canseco's Generous HGH Offer
Wells claims he declined Canseco's juice suggestions back in 2001. "That stuff is not good for the game and it is not good for your body." And if anyone knows what's good for your body, it's David Wells. [NYDN; NBCBA]...

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: <em>Strokes of Genius</em>
Sports Illustrated's Jon Wertheim uses the 2008 Wimbledon final to reflect on Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and their rivalry, begetting "the greatest tennis match every played," the 2008 Wimbledon Final. Buy it here, if you're feeling frisky....

George Foreman III Wins First Professional "Fight"
One of George Foreman's eponymous sons began his illustrious boxing career with a time-honored tradition—beating up on a human tomato can. Everyone involved in the making of this post should be ashamed of themselves. (I know I am.)...

Does Mike Winters Look Like He's Kidding?
No, umpire Mike Winters was not fucking kidding you when he punched Matt Kemp out on strikes on Saturday and if you think he's fucking kidding you, then you're the one who is fucking kidding yourself....

Justine Bateman Was NOT Roman Polanski’s Hot Tub Victim
This week's second Deadcast guest is actress, producer, and avid tumblr, uh, er, Justine Bateman....

The Problem With Wang
All right that's enough, people. Chien-Ming Wang (pronounced "wong," by the way) has been in the major leagues five seasons now and it has been well established that his surname is an English euphemism for "penis." Ha ha, very funny....

Tom Brady Even Heals Better Than A Normal Person
Brady's surgeon on the quarterback's rehab: "With regard to his recovery of strength, I've never seen anything quite like it. With an average person, it would have taken probably twice as long to get range of motion and strength back." Sweet jeebus, who is this guy? Wolverine? [LA Times]...

Take These Bobbleheads Home, Country Road
Tonight was going to be, like, the most important night in the history of the West Virginia Power. It marked their first-ever bobblehead giveaway, and they decided to honor the occasion with an Obama-playing-basketball-in-high-school toy. Too bad the dolls got stuck in some reincarnation of Gitmo....

And Now A Nice Photo Of A Man Getting Kicked In The Face
No, it's not Champions League, but it is a good way to show off the WSJ's outstanding "Sports Snapshot" photo blog-a-majig. Amazingly, the man getting kicked in the head is Houston Dynamo forward Brian Ching who used that very same dented dome to score a goal later in the game....