we Page 693 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Charles Rogers Blew Ay-Day. AY-DAY
Click to viewIf you ever wondered how former Lions #2 overall pick Charles Rogers turned out to be such a bust, Jemele Hill of ESPN got the answer from him: Construda. Construda AY-DAY....
Prince Fielder's March Of Vengeance
Nine innings were not enough for the Brewers and Dodgers to settle their differences—even if the 13-run differential says otherwise—so Prince Fielder led his Crew through the bowels of Dodger Stadium on a hunt for Guillermo Mota's head....
This Photo Hurts My Heart
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
For A Guy With A Neck Tattoo, Delonte West Is Not A Very Good Freestyler
Cavs' guard Delonte West has spent the summer putting together his own YouTube diary of madness. Today we find him at the KFC drive-thru, waiting on a bucket of The Colonel's crack, spouting off a nonsensical rhyme about his predicament....
Terrible Ratings Won't Stop Onslaught Of Sports Reality Shows
There have been a lot of sports-themed reality shows on TV lately—Superstars, Fourth and Long, The T.O. Show, etc.—and they all have two things in common. They are terrible and people hate them. So let's greenlight some more!...
If A Photo Of A Norwegian Black Metal Band Is On Deadspin, That Means Shit Is Seriously Messed Up
For real. This is the first snow day since I've been at Gawker, but the server problems are quite severe this time site-wide and it's making everyone's day miserable. So we're shutting it down for today....
Calling It Now: First To Worst
Beanie Wells finally ends his mini-holdout, promptly sprains his ankle in first practice. It's going to be one of those seasons for the Cardinals, by which I mean "like all the other seasons besides last year." [Arizona Republic]...
The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....
American Sports Need More PowerPoint Presentations
Michael Owen—remember the "Michael Jordan of soccer" talk?—put together a 32-page brochure about his accomplishments and handsomeness to try and convince teams to give him a contract. Nothing says "dangerous goal scorer" quite like bar graphs! [DailyMirror/Decleater]...
Your Weekly Throwgasm Breakdown: Pistachios, Apatow, Simmons, and Bees!
The week's ending. You need shit to do. Well, fear not. For I have compiled a list of worthy activities and/or ingestible chemicals to help you entertain yourself....
Starbury's Figurative Train Wreck Becomes A Literal Car Crash
We knew they shouldn't have let him outside. At the 1:45 mark, Stephon's car appears to jump the curb, or maybe run over an old lady. But "don't worry about it. It ain't nothin' but the Devil." [H/T reader Brian]...
I Hope Someone Gently Broke The News To Josh Johnson
From this week's SI Pop Culture Grid: Person I'm Dying To Interview..."Kirby Puckett. One of my idols growing up." [SI]...
Sources: With Favre's Decision, ESPN Will Have To Turn Elsewhere For Worthless Scoops
One of the many tragedies of Brett Favre's non-unretirement is that Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen, ESPN's Woodward and Bernstein of the small-bore, will no longer be feverishly working their anonymous sources for the world's most trivial Favre scoops....
Dr. James Andrews Giveth and Taketh Away
Orthopedic Hall of Famer Dr. James Andrews has saved the careers of countless athletes with his special brand of ligament justice, but occasionally he makes an oops and cripples healthy people for the rest of their lives. No one's perfect....
Japan Learns How To Lose From Notre Dame
Lou Holtz coached up the Fighting Irish and, afterward, a losing coach bemoaned a moral victory, so Saturday's college football exhibition was just like any other. Except Notre Dame won. And the game was in Japan....
A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Products Inside A Good Humor Truck
One of the good things about being a parent is that, during the summer, you're fully justified in eating all the goddamn ice cream you want....
It's Still The Summer Of K F'n P
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Once More To The Pool
Summertime, oh summertime, when on Sundays, pointless galleries seem to make some sense. So, voila! Now go do a cannonball....
T.O. Explains To Trent Edwards Exactly When He'll Make His Life Miserable
T.O. drives the Buffalonians bananas on his first day at mini-camp. You get the impression that this is the one place in the NFL universe where his spectacle isn't only welcome, but desperately needed. (PHOTO: H/T William V.) [Buffalo News]...