we Page 694 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Glorious Return Of The "Superstars"
Because television officially ran out of ideas six years ago, ABC is bringing back "Superstars," the insane multi-sport athletic competition designed to humiliate your childhood heroes. And guess who is the starring superstar!...

Kenny Powers Part III
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Is That You, Scalabrine?
Cedric Maxwell has a stalker: "[H]e followed me home the other night. He says he's been hearing voices and that the voices are telling him he needs to play for the Celtics." [Boston Globe]...

ESPN Has Found A Replacement For Emmitt Smith...Matt Millen
While ESPN de-bloats, they wouldn't be the WWL unless they also added a big name. The biggest one so far: Matt Millen, Ex-Lions GM/Architect of Destruction, will join their Monday Night Countdown on-site team....

You Should Wikipedia Kevin Garnett Sometime, He's A Fascinating Fellow
I actually did know who Kevin Garnett was before today. In fact, we talked one time. It was a conference call though, lacking in intimacy. Those were the days before you could Wikipedia helpful icebreakers....

The Epic Todd Marinovich Story You Should Read Immediately
Todd Marinovich's plummet from can't-miss prospect to drug-addled fuck up is a tale most sports fans know intimately. But this month's Esquire reveals so much more about the quarterback's disturbing life....

You Know When The Homemade Kenny Powers Jersey Looks Cool? When You're Getting Arrested
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap More...

Andy Roddick Will Marry Brooklyn Decker Next Weekend, Deucebag Says (Update)
Sometime Deadspin tennis correspondent Dylan Stableford reports that Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker will officially become a boring married couple in Austin, Tx. next weekend. His full emailed report appears once you click More....

Women, Children Frightened By Giant Hamburger
The official unveiling of the West Michigan Whitecaps' immense 5,000-calorie Fifth Third Burger on Thursday stirred up a variety of emotions, but the following quote is by far my favorite:...

Down In Front, Regis! Celebrity Fans And Why We Hate Them
It's Waxing Off, the Internet feature that was planted in the ground by God to test our faith. This week's topic: The scourge of celebrity sports fans....

Programming Notes
Send along today's tips to both [email protected] and [email protected]....

All Right, I'll Attend Your Stinking Workouts
After saying that he wouldn't attend the Bills' voluntary offseason conditioning program because it was, well, voluntary, Terrell Owens changes his mind and shows up on Wednesday. [The Buffalo News]...

Leave Tony Romo Alone! (Sob) He's A Human Being!
Eminem is back after a two-year hiatus (I know you've been waiting), and his new single, We Made You, should horrify Cowboys fans. Will the indignities never end for Tony Romo?...

Orioles Fans Prepared To Explain To Teixeira That All Is Forgiven
The weather looks fine for the Orioles home opener today against the Yankees (4 p.m., ET), with the forecast calling for scattered clouds, variable winds and a 95 percent chance of heavy cursing at Mark Teixeira....

The Calipari Daughters Should Probably Get Off Of Facebook Immediately
Although the piles of money and ego-stroking are enormous when you join a big-time program like the University of Kentucky, there are downsides. You know, like a burgeoning online interest in your young daughters....

If You've Eaten A Four-Pound Burger, Of Course You'll Need A Giant Plunger
Still grappling with the media frenzy over its monstrous 5,000-calorie burger, the West Michigan Whitecaps, masters of the metaphor, have installed a giant plunger in the outfield that squirts water on fans....

B.J. Raji Just Warren Sapp'd Himself
The Boston College defensive tackle tested positive for marijuana. [ATLeagle.com]...

Brewers Fan Saves Bikini Girl From Rogue Home Run Ball
Imagine a young woman innocently sunbathing at a baseball game, when a vicious home run ball comes rocketing toward her unsuspecting frame, with nothing but a bikini top to defend herself? What do you do?!...

Red Sox Owner John Henry Doing What Old, Rich Men Do — Marrying A 30-Year-Old Lass
John Henry's status as one of the architects of the Red Sox revival period has paid off handsomely for his wallet and his love life, as he's set to wed 30-year-old Linda Pizzuti....

Giant Burger Of Doom Now Comes With A Side Of Controversy
West Michigan Whitecaps are refusing an advocacy group's demand that they put a warning label on their 4,800-calorie super-burger. [NBCSports]...