we Page 704 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Guest Editor Has Arrived. Get All Your Balls In Order.
All right, you listen up, you little freaks. The fun stops here: you're going to shut your stinking traps and behave, dammit! This is one substitute you're not going to SCREW WITH! That's right, I'm your guest editor today. Send your tips to me here, or to [email protected]. And while I'm here, in ...
The Machines Shall Rise, And All Will Fall
All right, so the world is imploding. You know this. I know this too, though only because the Wassup Guys told me. Surely, these are the last days, before the global apocalypse rids the planet of humans and leaves only some cockroaches, a few stray strands of hair and, of course, Kermit, because Ke...
Fat, Drunk And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through West Virginia, Son
When you're so drunk and obnoxious that you're heckled by your fellow West Virginia fans, you know it's time for an intervention. Meet someone whom I assume is named Larry ... or possibly Rodney. But first please turn down the volume if you're at work, unless you want your co-workers to start chanti...
Week In Review: What's the Frequency, Carl Monday?
Here's a photo Carl Monday submitted from commenter "That Just Happened" when the jack-happy roving reporter attended the ribbon cutting ceremony of Cleveland''s RTA HealthLine, which is a big fancy bus. Public transportation frotteurists in Cleveland should reconsider using this line to satisfy the...
Bill Cosby Would Like to Welcome You to the Weekly Video Rundown
Each Friday afternoon Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed during the past week from the world of Sports Media. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...
Tom Brady Isn't Doing So Hot
If you see Tom Brady this weekend, don't ask him about the knee! After finding out that his joints aren't made out of cotton candy and lollipops, doctors are worried about an infection that arose after his ACL reconstruction. They have now performed three separate procedures to try and fight it, and...
It's Obama And McCain ... AFTER DARK!
So over the weekend, the two candidates for President — Sen. Barack Obama, head of a Muslim sleeper cell, and Sen. John McCain, organizer of the first Hanoi chapter of the Ku Klux Klan — spoke at the Al Smith Dinner, a big Catholic charity event held in Manhattan right before the elections every y...
Um, What The Hell, Patriots Fans?
Sorry to start your day off on the wrong foot, but several people have sent this in; a fan at the Monday Night game in Foxboro last night purportedly wearing blackface. I guess that's what this is — a closer shot is shown following the jump — although I'm no expert on such matters. Would Ted Danson ...
Jay Cutler Out to Prove his Arm is Bigger Than His Mouth
Tonight, the Denver Broncos and mouthy quarterback Jay Cutler swagger into Foxboro and will attempt to frustrate the completely neutralized New England Patriots on their home field. Even though the Pats do not remotely resemble anything close to the juggernaut they were last year, they're still favo...
Week In Review: Don't Mess With Texas, You Mormon Freaks
This was a pretty hilariously awful sign posted during last night's TCU trouncing of BYU, where students name-dropped the spooky El Dorado church compound raids in order to intimidate the supposedly up-and-coming Cougars. It worked, obviously. So, there will be a couple of announcements on Monday. ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while your monkey reads a Mexican newspaper ... • College football: Hawaii at Boise State (8 p.m., ET) Visiting uniforms clash with blue field. [ESPN] • Golf: LPGA, Kapalua Classic, second round, at Lahaina, Hawaii (8:30 p.m., ET). Suzann Pettersen, please sign the scorecoard in my hea...
Thursday Night Preview: Florida State at North Carolina State and #8 BYU at #24 TCU
I suppose even the genius who schedules Thursday night games at ESPN is entitled to a mulligan. That's the only explanation for how Florida State at N.C. State ended up tonight's featured game. N.C. State is 2-4 and Florida State is 4-1. N.C. State has taken down William and Mary and East Carolina,...
Economic Meltdown Provides Small Silver Lining Seattle Sonics Fans
In these troubled times that we live in, people need to focus on the little things that help get them through their day. The laughter of a child, the good health of loved ones, and the delicious schadenfreude of watching greedy corporate bastards lose a billion dollars or so right after stealing you...
You Should Probably Stop Having Birthday Parties When You're 11
I turned 33 over the weekend. There's something inherently sad about a single 33-year-old man hosting his own birthday party. I remember when my father turned 33; I was 11. It was my parents, my sister and myself eating tacos and watching the Cardinals game. That was pretty fun. I've had birthday b...
Terrell Owens Was Very Yellow On Monday
It's Tuesday, and Black Sports Online is still asking the musical question: T.O., WTF are you wearing??? How do you lose to the Cardinals and then show up in the locker room on Monday looking like this? You've just blown any chance you may have had with Jessica Simpson. Was T.O. striving for the elu...
Week In Review: I Hope Kimbo's Son Has A Better Weekend
Let's wrap this up quickly, since this space will be occupied by Sussman's Red Sox/Rays liveblog tonight. Watch him do that thing that makes the ladies say hoooooooooo..... • Brady hearts McCain • Rays wax • Kimbo gets rocked by this dude • Ladies wax • Stu's got his eye on you • Buzzsaw gets raped ...
Oh, For The Days Of Rape And Murder Questions At Debates
The second Presidential debate is tonight, coinciding, quite helpfully, with the first night off of the baseball postseason. I spend about 45 percent of my workday reading political blogs from all sides of the spectrum, some conservative, some (OK, more) liberal, and absolutely none written by tha...
Week In Review: A Club Full of Tiny Members
So there have obviously been a few minor changes here this week, all of which will be addressed at a later date. Nothing to see here, please disperse, all that. For now. Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Clay for all his contributions to Deadspin during his full-time tenure here. Hone...
College Football Preview: Y'all Better Recognize Joe Pa Wants His Daps, Yo
The eyes of the college football world shift to Nashville, Tennessee this weekend where the mighty Vanderbilt Commodores will be hosting Auburn. This is a huge game for Vandy. The last time they beat Auburn was 1955, the same year that Rosa Parks instituted her bus boycott in Montgomery. Yep, black ...