we Page 708 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Terrell Owens, Comedian
I did not see last night's "Late Show with David Letterman" (so late!) so I missed this appearance by everyone's favorite vaudeville joke-maker and occasional wide receiver Terrell Owens. We also lost our copy of "Little T Learns To Share," but we think this Top Ten list sends pretty much the same m...
The Patriots Public Relations Department Has Had a Busy Week
Poor Stacey James. Fresh off of the Caitlin Davis fiasco from last week, the Patriots executive director of PR has found himself answering more uncomfortable questions about persons loosely affiliated with the team. This week, it's Marblehead High School Coach, Doug Chernovetz (pictured), who was aw...
Barack Obama Will Not Take Away Your Ties Or Your Hair
I don't remember where I saw it, but about a year-and-a-half ago, in one of those "Hey, there's a cool black guy running for President!" stories, the writer posited that Barack Obama, if he were to somehow win (crazy!), would have something immediately in common with John F. Kennedy: He could destro...
Week In Review: Don't You Wish We All Could Be As Happy As Baby Mangino?
Here are some of this week's stories that didn't have anything to do with Caitlin Davis. • The Brady Quinn era begins...with a loss • How to open a beer with ...Nazi shark! • Joey Porter: professional trash talker • More trouble for the Olson family.• Barack Obama is elected: Some surprisingly good ...
And At Week's End, The First Chapter In The Caitlin Davis Penis-Drawing Kerfluffle Comes To A Close
The story of young Ms. Caitlin Davis is a sad one, as the once wholesome New England Patriots' cheerleader went from budding pom-pom sweetheart of Foxboro to loathsome alleged Anti-Semite, both nationally and internationally, in a short period of time. (So sayeth the Italians: "Caitlin nei fotogramm...
Masking Tape, An Inebriated Friend, And The Shocking Discovery Of Boyfriend Internet Porn
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
Caitlin Davis Talks to TMZ, Assures The World She's No Anti-Semite, Penis Artist
Well, this is interesting. Recently fired Patriots cheerleader Caitlin Davis has apparently spoke to TMZ to reiterate her statement she that was NOT the person responsible for drawing swastikas all over the drunk kid on the futon. Ms. Davis told them, via email, that there's a simple explanation as ...
The Patriots Dole Out Their Swift, Kraftian Justice, Thus Ending The Short Career of One Cheerleader
Caitlin Davis, the 19-year-old Patriots cheerleader who was featured in this Deadspin item, photographed with a Sharpie in hand, posing over a passed out individual covered in penis drawings was dismissed from pompom duties effective yesterday, according to the Boston Herald. The paper insinuates th...
Election Night: An Excuse To Stay Up Past 8:30
Well, it's here. When I was a kid, Election Night was one of the few nights of the year I was allowed to stay up past 8:30. (Seriously, my bedtime was 8:30 until I was a freshman in high school. And you wonder why I still wet the bed.) I never knew who any of the candidates were, or even what the "...
USC Track Star Learns That You Simply Can't Outrun Bullets
Pictured above is Bryshon Nellum, who runs track for USC. The Halloween party he attended last night didn't go so well. As in, he ended up in the Emergency Room, after getting shot three times in the leg. The good news is that Nellum didn't suffer any life-threatening injuries, and might even race ...
Week In Review: Yes Us Can
We're THIS close to having a new President, people. Four more days! Four more days! OK, I'm shutting this thing down, but not before we review what we've learned this week. • Erin Andrews can tuck me in any time. • Tonight, we're all Phillies fans ... except for that guy in the Padres hat. Let's get...
Awful Announcing's Weekly Media Rundown
Each Friday afternoon Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed during the past week from the world of Sports Media. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
Your Guest Editor Has Arrived. Get All Your Balls In Order.
All right, you listen up, you little freaks. The fun stops here: you're going to shut your stinking traps and behave, dammit! This is one substitute you're not going to SCREW WITH! That's right, I'm your guest editor today. Send your tips to me here, or to [email protected]. And while I'm here, in ...
The Machines Shall Rise, And All Will Fall
All right, so the world is imploding. You know this. I know this too, though only because the Wassup Guys told me. Surely, these are the last days, before the global apocalypse rids the planet of humans and leaves only some cockroaches, a few stray strands of hair and, of course, Kermit, because Ke...
Fat, Drunk And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through West Virginia, Son
When you're so drunk and obnoxious that you're heckled by your fellow West Virginia fans, you know it's time for an intervention. Meet someone whom I assume is named Larry ... or possibly Rodney. But first please turn down the volume if you're at work, unless you want your co-workers to start chanti...
Week In Review: What's the Frequency, Carl Monday?
Here's a photo Carl Monday submitted from commenter "That Just Happened" when the jack-happy roving reporter attended the ribbon cutting ceremony of Cleveland''s RTA HealthLine, which is a big fancy bus. Public transportation frotteurists in Cleveland should reconsider using this line to satisfy the...
Bill Cosby Would Like to Welcome You to the Weekly Video Rundown
Each Friday afternoon Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed during the past week from the world of Sports Media. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...
Tom Brady Isn't Doing So Hot
If you see Tom Brady this weekend, don't ask him about the knee! After finding out that his joints aren't made out of cotton candy and lollipops, doctors are worried about an infection that arose after his ACL reconstruction. They have now performed three separate procedures to try and fight it, and...
It's Obama And McCain ... AFTER DARK!
So over the weekend, the two candidates for President — Sen. Barack Obama, head of a Muslim sleeper cell, and Sen. John McCain, organizer of the first Hanoi chapter of the Ku Klux Klan — spoke at the Al Smith Dinner, a big Catholic charity event held in Manhattan right before the elections every y...