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Prince Fielder Would Like To Invite You To Milwaukee's Erotic Playoff-Clinching Festivities
Perhaps the most joyful of playoff entrants this year are the Milwaukee Brewers, who just a couple weeks ago were in the midst of an epic free-fall out of wild card contention. Ned Yost was shown the door, Dale Sveum moved over to the manager's stoop (and didn't wave anyone home from the dugout), t...

Mets Close Out Shea as Losers; Brewers Go Wild
CC Sabathia, Milwaukee's big time mid-season acquisition, stepped up on the final day of the season to help the Brewers clinch the National League Wild Card spot with a win over the Cubs. Ryan Braun was once again the hero as his 2 run homer in the 8th put them ahead for good. The Brew Crew clinched...

Game 162: Win or Go Home (or Play Again Tomorrow)
• Mets 2, Marlins 0 Johan Santana pitched the gem that the New York faithful needed from him. It was an absolutely impressive complete game, three hit shutout. But man, was it bizarre to hear Mets Manager Jerry Manuel talk about the game afterward, "Wow, wow, wow, wow. I think if I had to describe t...

Olympic Gold Medalist Challenges Chad Ochocinco to Race
Dominating one sport isn't enough anymore for today's athletes. Apparently, if you're a professional football player, specifically an egomaniacal receiver, you think your skills translate to other venues. Chad Johnson wanted to race against Michael Phelps in the pool — not to mention a horse on a tr...

Week In Review: Dry The Rain
Hi there. After last night's Mets and Brewers victories, I'm legitimately worried. This time of the year it's all about momentum and those teams have it and the Phillies, sadly, do not. I'll say it right now — if the Phillies lose tonight, the season's over. As a long-suffering Philadelphia fan ever...

College Football Preview: The Blackout Is Coming to Georgia!
If you stayed up past midnight on the east coast last night to watch USC-Oregon State right now you're blearily wiping your eyes and cursing the decision as lunch nears and all you want to do is crawl under your desk and sleep. If you're like me you might also be questioning why you let Birmingham,...

Strange Brew: Ryan Braun, Of All People, Keeps Milwaukee In The Chase
• Brewers 5, Pirates 1 (10 innings). Brew Crew Ball called it: This morning is the appropriate time for the untucking of shirts. Come on, untuck 'em! Wait ... is that, Brewers underwear? Oh Jesus. Well, tuck it back in, I guess. Ryan Braun was hitting .198 in September, with one home run and five RB...

The Mets Take One Step Closer To Inevitable Implosion
This is going to be an interesting, rain-soaked weekend in baseball for the Northeast's playoff-challenged teams. Last night's Mets loss was just...wow. After switching over to ESPN to watch the game once the Phillies got completely waxed by the Braves, I was fully prepared to root for the Bastard M...

Wrigley Field Destroys A Man's Soul
I spent last weekend at Wrigley Field, watching the stupid Cubs clinch their stupid division and drink some stupid champagne in front of their stupid fans. It was the first time my father had ever been to Wrigley Field, and I have to think it'll be his last. Poor guy. He makes it nearly 60 years wi...

Has Success Spoiled The Patriots Fan?
Boos in Foxboro? Having grown up in California, I'm kind of used to seeing streams of disgruntled fans heading for the exits way before the game has ended (and that includes high school crowds, when I was playing). I just never thought I'd see it in Patriots Land. Has seven years of football success...

A Former Yankee Hero Suffers Existential Crisis at His Waterlogged House in Texas During Emotional Stadium Ceremony
Roger Clemens lets out a heavy sigh and struggles to keep the tears from glistening on his face . He sits in his spacious home in a hurricane-ravaged area of Texas, watching the final game at Yankee Stadium, hoping his years of pin-striped service are recognized. But what of the other sinners? Knobl...

College Football Round-Up Week Four: LSU Wins One For The Golden Girls
I was in Knoxville for UT-Florida, a game with all the suspense of watching one of those live chickens try and survive hanging over the alligator pits. Occasionally the chickens break their neck in a fearful attempt to escape. Which is sort of what the UT football team did on Saturday. Right now UT...

Getting To Know Alfonso Soriano's Alleged Road Beef
So, this seems like it could be a regular feature. Deadspin received a tip this weekend about pictures circulating on one Keri Wiesen's Facebook page (public to those in the Chicago network), which features this fleshy young lady in various friendly poses with the Chicago Cubs' (Central division cha...

The Calm Before the Storm
Ah, sweet, glorious NFL Sunday is here at long last. And you can take a look at which men and women will bring you today's slate of 15 games. • Joey "piano man” Harrington is taking his musical talents to New Orleans, where he'll play backup to Drew Brees's backup. My, how the not-so-mighty have fa...

Week In Review: Chris Cooley Has Learned His Lesson
Well, it's been an eventful week this week here at the Nation Of Deadspin. It began so ridiculously with Chris Cooley's unfortunate dick-slip, as the story unfortunately gained national attention even though the Cooley clan did their best to keep it contained. Cooley ended upapologizing for the inci...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after e-mailing all your pirate friends ... • College football: Baylor at Connecticut (8 p.m., ET). Ouch! Right in the Briles! [ESPN2] • MLB: Minnesota at Tampa Bay (7 p.m., ET). Locking antlers for right to lead the American League herd. [ESPN] • Golf: PGA Tour, Viking Classic, second...

Brewers Bid Adieu To NL Central Race
This photo is from Tuesday, but it speaks volumes for today, as the Brewers lost to the Cubs, 7-6 in 12 innings, to finally, slowly slip underneath the surface of the cold waters of the National League Central and sink to their demise. I feel your pain, Milwaukee; I, too, thought this might be your ...

Michael Beasley Is A Young Man In Need Of A Crazy Joe Clark-Like Figure
The NBA handed out punishments to former Kansas players Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur for that Rookie Transition Training incident, but it turns out that Kansas State's Michael Beasley was also there that night, partaking in the nefarious, smoky late night activities. The Heat's number one pick ...

Ask Not What Tom Brady Can Do For You, Ask What You Can Do For Tom Brady
Excellent piece of satire this morning over at Blogging The Boys — and God, I hope it's satire — in which they write that the remainder of the 2008 NFL season will be officially played in honor of Tom Brady. I have to admit that I read half of it, then raced over to NFL.com to make sure it wasn't tr...

David Foster Wallace, The St. Louis Rams And You
Before we get started, I'd like to say something about David Foster Wallace. David Foster Wallace, Illinois' own, is the best writer I've ever read who I found completely unreadable. I don't mean his non-fiction stuff that had the benefit of editors who, strangely, had a desire for people who read ...