we Page 741 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...

The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership
Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTM...

Thank Heavens For The NFL
• Another reason never to get excited about anything. • Mark Mangino will kill you. • Scott Van Pelt had had it up to here with your Internet garbage. • The NFL actually started its season. • Jeff Reed! • Shush, Barber. • Boy, oh boy, Michigan. • Rugby players make great dads. • Enjoy your Sunday! •...

It's The AFC East Pants Party
OK, it appears we are finally back. Boy, it's been a fun day to work for Gawker Media; it was extremely enjoyable to have people tell us what was happening on our site, since we couldn't see it and couldn't update it. Awesome. Anyway, to the AFC! Hard to imagine anyone other than the ole' Patriots...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after the Killer Maneating Terror Of Coney Island is finally captured ... • MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers at Chicago Cubs. First place ... fun while it lasted. [ESPN] [WGN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's and women's quarterfinals, at New York. How can we go on without Rafael Nadal? (I'll miss h...

Bill Belichick Ruins Yet Another Family
Danny Baugher dreamed of being a punter. He went to the University of Arizona, and signed late last year to the Patriots' practice squad. Big hopes, big dreams, this kid. Booming leg. Ten cent head. But just a strugglin' kid, hoping to catch a break. And then Bill Belichick sent him down the spiral ...


NL Central, What Would We Do Without You, You Crazy Nut?
You mocked the National League's Central Division. Called it the race nobody wanted. But now it's September, and it's the most compelling race in baseball, with three teams within a game of each other atop the standings. You've got Carlos Zambrano pouting into his sippy cup. Rick Ankiel not caring ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while feeding your llama ... • MLB: Right back atcha ... Diamondbacks move back into virtual tie for first with Padres. Drama! • Tennis: Ferrer, not Federer, upsets Nadal at U.S. Open. • Gymnastics: Bend it like Horton ... lithe, flexible U.S. men qualify for Beijing Olympics....

Slow Day In Blogland
• A closer look at new demigod, Clay Buchholz [Sox and Dawgs] • What would an amazing baseball moment be without a view from the cramped seats of Fenway? [Ballhype] • In the wake of yesterday's...technical difficulties Brian Cook has taken his blog in a new direction, join us in praying for his sani...


Hugh Johnson's Hangover
Yep, college football is back for real. There was a an exciting, competitive, and meaningful game last night and some forward thinker actually televised it! Cal finished off their two year home-and-home against Tennessee in style with a 45-31 victory. The game offered up a showcase for those who lov...

Clay Is Dry and Ready
While We were all busy watching college football Clay Buchholz was having his way with the Oh-ree-yoles (stupid asbestos) to the tune of zero hits over nine innings. He becomes the third Major Leaguer to throw a no-hitter this season and the 21st rookie to accomplish the feat. Buchholz was as effici...

At The End, There Is Just Ned
• Alas, only Ned. • Mark Cuban, dancin'. • ESPN hires its fans. Well, no, but it pretends its employees are fans. Clever, you! • We'll never understand the President Of Red Sox Nation thing. • Vick pleaded guilty. You might have heard about it. • Mike Tyson's poop. • Dickey Simpkins, one good dad. •...

South Carolina Needs A Spokesperson!
Just over at the South Carolina Tourisim official site, and do you know what? They don't have a spokesperson. This should be remedied, and of course there are only two candidates who could handle it. Miss Teen South Carolina; and Blowie, the mascot for the Coastal Plain League Columbia, S.C. Blowfi...

Free Garchar!
Garchar organized the above placard prank, forcing the rival school's fans to spell out "WE SUCK" unknowingly, and we have to say, if we were a 17-year-old high school senior, that would have been the highlight of our lives. Unfortunately, the school didn't find it as funny; he was suspended for it....

I Can Haz Maps Of The Iraq, And Such As ... ?
We've had some fun at the expense of our friend Lauren Caitlin Upton, the Miss Teen South Carolina who mangled a beauty pageant question so completely on Friday that the entire world is talking about it. Such as. But now it seems some real good has come of all this. A new web site has launched, Maps...

NFL Season Preview: New England Patriots
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....