we Page 748 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Serena Williams Scoots Out Down The Road
Earlier today (or yesterday, or whatever the heck time it is in Australia), Serena Williams lost in the French Open. Fortunately, this video, from our friends at The Fanhouse, reveals that her time in France was anything but a waste. It's cute: She dances like our aunt at a wedding. Of course, our a...
This Man Knows What Athletics Really Mean
The Fanhouse discussed this yesterday, but we wouldn't help but play with it some more: There's a Massachusetts politician named Kevin Thompson who is kind of losing his mind about Tom Brady. Actually, he has a problem with athletes in general....
Two Hours In, And We Already Hate Ourselves
We got a late start, so we're only two hours into the great "watch the ESPN family of networks" experiment of 2007. (Though you won't be able to read it until 2008.) So far, we've seen the same "SportsCenter" twice and have marveled at just how handsome Mike Greenberg really is. This is going to be ...
The Danes Like To Punch
If the Second War of Schleswig taught us anything, it's that the Danish lack problem-solving skills. Yesterday, during a Euro 2008 qualifier, a Danish player punched a Swedish player in the stomach, and was, of course, red-carded and sent off. Apparently feeling like it should be perfectly legal to ...
A-Rod Is Dead, Dawg
• Jose Canseco and his fake reality show] • Cheese wheel. • Nothing offensive about this, nope. • This lady? Never heard of her. Until now! • Ichiro is wacky. • Every party should have Mr. Met. • LeBron might be all kinds of amazing. • Here come the otters! HERE COME THE OTTERS! • Isiah Thomas, a bu...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after coming in from recess ... • College softball: World Series at Oklahoma City, Tennessee vs. Texas A&M and Baylor vs. Arizona. Shootout at the OK corral. [ESPN] • Golf: LPGA, Ginn Tribute, first round, at Mt. Pleasant, S.C. We have a bad case of Annika Sorenstam. [The Golf Channel]...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing a happy birthday to the legend that is unsilent majority ... • MLB: Cleveland at Boston [ESPN2]; Florida at Chicago Cubs. Red Sox's magic number is 90. [WGN] • NBA: Western Conference finals, Utah at San Antonio, Game 5. Let's point the t-shirt cannon toward the court thi...
How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter
Problem: Nasty bloggers are spreading your 18-year-old pole vaulting daughter's picture across the Internets. (They can send all the letters to Ufford they want, but you can still find the picture here and here and about a million other places.) Solution: Scream your lungs out about it on the front ...
About Last Night
What you missed while enjoying the new side of Darth Vader... • NBA: Spurs lead Jazz 91-79 after three quarters in their ... wait, what? That's a final? • NHL: Year of the Duck ... Anaheim takes 1-0 lead over Senators. • MLB: Milestone for the Braves! No, Cox wasn't ejected; it was Jones' 350th home...
Of Ping Pong Balls And Dogfights
• A-Rod likes his balls. • Carl Monday remains unstoppable. • Clinton Portis likes it when dogs fight. • Dan Shanoff live blogged the draft lottery, and it was not a happy night for Celtics fans. • AJ Hawk will be more careful about wedding photographers in the future. • NBC switches from playoff ov...
We Know Where Lassie Will Be This Weekend
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
The Future Of Sports Can Be Found On Google Patents
Using the invaluable Google Patent Search, the fine folks at Winning The Turnover Battle have dug up the most intriguing and odd sports patents making their way through the wacky inventors pipeline. Our favorite, the No Hang Basketball Net, is pictured....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as all the clocks slowly begin to melt ... • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. This one decides the series! Let's go! (Shotgun!). [ESPN] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta [TBS]; Chicago Cubs as San Diego. Considering the weather, the Cubs just may stay. [WGN] • Boxing: Women's, junior wel...
Hey, What Else You Gonna Do With A Full Beer?
Sometimes, when a ballgame at Dodger Stadium is wrapping up, one has no choice but to pour beer on one's self. Fortunately, she can take that famed Chavez Ravine subway home....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hiding from the flying robot police ... • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta. The most humid rivalry in sports. [TBS] • NBA: Draft lottery, at Secaucus, N.J.; Western Conference finals, Utah at San Antonio, Game 2. You know which one you care about watching more. [ESPN] • NHL: Western...
Andy Roddick Is Not That Jacked Up
Last week, TMZ pointed out that the new cover of Men's Fitness featured a suspiciously pumped-up Andy Roddick. Well, Roddick himself has chimed in, in that wonderful English we've come to love and expect from our professional tennis players....
Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...
John Denver Would Be So Proud
I post this as a favor to the students and fans of the University of Montana football team. If any of you were out there thinking, "Oh, that's so embarrassing," please allow West Fuckin' Virginia to steal a little bit of your thunder....
This Looks Like Our Prom Picture
• ESPN Mobile is indestructible. • Eric Mangini, trying to grapple with the Pats. • Brady Quinn, DANCIN'. • Ken Griffey Jr., having some fun with hecklers. • That whole suspension thing kind of mucked matters up. • It's Arena Football Day in Bristol! • Do not cheat if you're fishing. • Charming , La...
They Just Don't Make Mennonites The Way They Used To
So, yeah, this Floyd Landis business. Heavens....