we Page 753 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Very Brady Ash Wednesday
As was discussed here over the weekend, Tom Brady is going to be a daddy! (We've already got our baby shower gift picked out). It's never our place to judge, but we can't help but wonder how this whole thing is playing at home with the folks. Not only is their son not planning to marry the mom, actr...
Tom Brady's Sperm Is Clutch
Bridget Moynahan and Tom Brady have been broken up for a while, but a few months ago, she gave him time to set up in the pocket, and he delivered. Moynahan is pregnant, and the baby, according to various reports, is Tom Brady's. The fetus has already been offered several scholarships....
Week In Review: An Elephant Attacks A Car
• Goodbye, Mr. Schottenheimer. • We do love ourselves some dog show. • This video is what we thought it was, and so much more. • Fat man dancing! Woo! • Jamar Smith is about to go the way of Chief Illiniwek. • It's always fun to play with Craig's List. • Now your "conversations" are with the Associa...
Champaign's Long National Nightmare Is Over
As an old lifer at the Daily Illini, no story was less fun to talk about than Chief Illiniwek. We once had our own personal take on the embattled "symbol" of the University of Illinois, but we don't even remember what it was anymore: It was talked about every day, in the most banal and "emotional" t...
Tim Hardaway Wants Only Straight Men To See His Penis
So, by now, everyone has heard former NBA point guard Tim Hardaway's comments on the Dan LeBatard show yesterday, but just in case you're up for some caveman rhetoric — he'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa — here's the full audio of the interview....
Trying To Understand The Illini Car Crash
Now that Illini center Brian Carlwell's condition after Monday's accident in a car driven by teammate Jamar Smith has been upgraded to "fair," we think it's probably OK to look at some of the more bizarre aspects to the crash....
Wrapping Up The Westminster Dog Show
The Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden features the finest athletic specimens at MSG since ... well, since the last Dog Show. We don't consider competitive dog preening a sport, but we do find it funny, and we think Best In Show is one of the funniest movies ever made....
Charlie Weis Hates Internal Bleeding Much More Than He Hates Donuts
In case you've fallen behind on your coverage of failed gastric bypass surgery involving major college football coaches, Notre Dame head whale Charlie Weis is in Day One of his negligence trial in which doctors ignored internal bleeding warning signs. Weis underwent the surgery in 2002 because he wa...
Inside The Awful Illini Car Accident
As most of you have heard by now, two Illinois basketball players — center Brian Carlwell and shooting guard Jamar Smith — were injured in a car accident last night in Champaign. Smith suffered a concussion, but Carlwell is currently listed in critical condition at Carle Foundation Hospital, a hospi...
Deep, DEEP Inside The Westminster Dog Show
Starting yesterday and concluding today, the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden features the finest athletic specimens at MSG since ... well, since the last Dog Show. We don't consider competitive dog preening a sport, but we do find it funny, and we think Best In Show is one of the funni...
NBA Roundup: In Praise Of The Pistons
Notes on Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Why West Virginia Is So Good At Home
Just to make sure we end your day on as lowbrow a point as we can possibly muster, here's the reason UCLA lost to West Virginia on Saturday. This guy. Let this be a lesson for all of you: Do not come into this guy's house and expect to escape alive....
What Kind Of Bet Would The Pink Taco Make?
When mayors make their yearly dopey bets on certain sports series — "If the Colts win, you'll give us your deep dish pizza, and if your Bears win, we'll give you some dreary dead-end manufacturing jobs!" — it's silly, but kind of cute, in a "white people in suits trading beans" type of way. But when...
Nothing Says Valentine's Day Like Six-Foot Tall Spiced Meat
If you can't figure out what to get your significant other for this upcoming Valentine's Day — and you happen to live "within a 45 mile radius from Miller Park" and have V-Day between 1 p.m. and 2 p.m. Central Time open — you could give the gift that keeps on giving: Sausages....
And To Think That In Some Countries, These Dogs Are Eaten
The Temple Owls aren't having much of a year, so Bill Cosby's got some time on his hands. And what better way to fill that time than becoming a dog show person? The Cos has an entry in the upcoming Westminster Dog Show ... not just any entry, but a favorite to win. Bill Cosby is the anti-Ron Artest....
Week In Review: You Can't HANDLE John Amaechi!
• We welcomed the great Will Blythe to these here parts. • To repeat: We feel bad for this guy's little brother. • A look at Harold Reynolds' contract. • A.J. Daulerio filed his last report from Miami and then took a well-earned vacation. Look out for Stu! • Hello, Santiago! • Ron Zook, kicking your...
NBA Roundup: Gearing Up For Playoff Run
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Hey, Why Is Kenny Chesney Suddenly Calling Me?
In our original neck of the woods in Mattoon, Ill., NFL loyalties are rather split. Some people root for the Chicago Bears (four hours away), some root for the Indianapolis Colts (90 minutes away) and some odd souls hopped on the Rams bandwagon (two hours away). (Some insane people stuck with the fo...
Week In Review: Who Says Super Bowl Week Is Boring?
Jesus, people: What a week....
Ted Johnson Would Like You To Remind Him Where He Put His Keys ... And His Pants
Wasn't it just a couple of years ago that Bill Belichick was God? Lose a couple of big games, and it all begins to crumble. Former Patriots linebacker Ted Johnson said on Thursday that Belichick forced him to practice with a concussion, causing him to, um, to ... what was it were were talking about?...