well Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The "Andrei Kirilenko's Yearly Free Pass Watch" Reaches DEFCON-2
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Farewell, Peggy Noonan
The Deadspin part-time author is moving on with life/work. We wish her the best of luck. [Gawker]...

Phil Mickelson: Your New, Women-Friendly, Morally Pristine Sportswriter Unicorn
Once, not so long ago, a famous golfer was unfaithful to the public image that sportswriters had helped construct for him, and the sportswriters were sad. But then along came Phil Mickelson, and the sportswriters turned him into a Lifetime movie....

In Case You Wanted Updates On Howard Stern's Tiger Woods Beauty Pageant...
And...good morning!: 8:49 AM (2 hours ago) From Nick Denton to tips: jopiazza (@jopiazza) 3/10/10 8:31 Tigers mistress Jamie Jungers says she and Tiger had rough sex and...he is quite well endowed...oh and no condom! Sent with Tweetie...

Aggravated Assault? Needs More Cowbell
Mississippi State students can rest easy tonight, because police have finally located the man who brutally beat a fellow student at the Egg Bowl with, yes, a cowbell....

Colts Practicing Reverse Discrimination, Says Column That Makes Sense For About Two Seconds
Here's an argument that when the Colts hired Jim Caldwell, they violated the spirit of Rooney Rule by not interviewing any majority candidates. Also, the Saints should give Aaron Brooks some snaps on Sunday before Brees takes over. [NYDN]...

Coach Who (Accidentally) Nailed Girl In Face With Volleyball Forced To Apologize Again
This is Southern Regional High School girl's volleyball coach Eric Maxwell, whom you probably remember from this memorable episode, which occurred earlier this month. He apologized immediately after it happened. Unfortunately, he gained aa new audience yesterday....

Super Bowl Subplot #4: Dwight Freeney's Ankle
Is it sprained or is it broken? Torn or rent asunder? Will he or won't he? Will it matter if he won't? Wait ... Someone is planning to play defense in this game? FREEEEENEEEEEEEEEEEEY!...

Coach Maxwell Is Displeased With Your Execution...And An Announcement (UPDATE)
Reader Ryan sends us this video of Coach Eric Maxwell of Southern High School in New Jersey throwing a volleyball at one of his own (female) players. Charming fellow. And now, an announcement…...

Confused Sports Radio Guy Thinks That I, Napkin Gladwell, Photographed Venus Williams's "Goods"
Look here, Rob Buska, whoever you are. I am Napkin Gladwell, journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. I am not a photographer. I am not in Australia. And I was certainly not "snapping" Venus Williams's "goods."...

Excerpts From "Underlying Ass(ets): What Venus Williams's Bottom Tells Us About Credit Default Swaps"
Napkin Gladwell is a journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. He occasionally provides Deadspin with excerpts of his upcoming essays....

Five Offensively Stupid Reactions To Mark McGwire's Steroid Admission
Would the following people kindly shut the hell up about Mark McGwire?...

Let's Say Farewell To 2009 With Class
Okay, it's time to close. We'll be here tomorrow with a bunch of galleries, Deleted Scenes and Bowl game open threads for you to occupy yourself with while you nurse hangover/lay on couch/contemplate hitting the gym/try to quit smoking....

It's So Heartwarming In The D
In case you've forgotten, today is Christmas Day, and if you want to feel all fuzzy about good deeds and peace on earth, just read the Detroit Free Press. No, for real. Ernie Harwell will make your day....

Lowell's Bum Thumb Gives Thumbs Down To Texas Deal
Eleven days later, the deal's off. The upside of re-signing him after the 2007 season: keeping a World Series winning team together. The downside: it's Mike Lowell, and he was all but guaranteed to be physically untradeable. [Boston Herald]...

Which Former NBA Star Had An Affair With Some Guy Malcolm Gladwell Met At A Party?
And no, it is not the guy in the picture, I am fairly certain. But the beauty of Malcolm Gladwell is, I now know who Adonal Foyle is!...

Nick Kroll On "The League," Fantasy Football, And How Chris "Mad Dog" Russo Is His Personal Cobain
FX's The League is TV's latest attempt to tickle the potbelly of the coveted "18-to-whatever male" demographic. The show centers on the friendships, relationships, and fantasy football league of a group of thirtysomething guys. Sound familiar?...

"I" Of The Tiger: A Graphological Inquiry Into The Personality Of Eldrick Woods
Just who is Tiger Woods, exactly? We may never know, but at least we have the science of handwriting analysis to give us an idea. Graphologist Susanne Shapiro looked at Tiger's autograph for us, and she found it very revealing....

Chuck Klosterman: American Polymath Napkin
Chuck Klosterman plugs his Dinosaur book by doing an interview with the good people at American Polymath blog. Okay, truth be told, this interview gave me a reason to commission another napkin caricature from Craggs....

Gladwell, I Am Told, Is Often Misunderstood
Deadspin's part-time weekend wrecker Moe Tkacik has penned an epically long story about Bill Simmons admirer and pezzy-haired cultural point-tipper Malcolm Gladwell for "The Nation." Feast.[The Nation]...