well Page 39 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There's Madness Behind The Mask
To help celebrate Bobby Cox's record 132nd career ejection (he was tossed again on Wednesday), Sons of Sam Malone compiled the Top 5 Manager Ejections of recent years. It is a fine list, a noble list, and makes me want to crawl on all fours and pretend to lob a grenade. 'But hey,' you may be saying ...

Is This The End For Our Tubby Hero?
When David Wells missed a start in the 2003 World Series because of mysterious back problems that might have been related to the fact that he weighs 800 pounds, we figured he was done. Missing a World Series start because you were out of shape? People tend to not like that....

Wake up! They're Underway at Wembley
The sun is already rising on a new season in the Barclay's Premier League. The annual Community Shield match is underway at Wembley stadium pitting Machester United against Chelsea, the champions of last year's league title and FA Cup respectively. While the result of today's match won't be reflecte...

No Wonder They Can't Fix The BCS
Every year, right around this time, we start getting excited about college football, and it seems like the most perfect game in the world, and we can't wait for Saturdays to start, rock, kickass ... and then we remember, oh yeah, they still don't have a freaking real championship....


To Watch Tonight
What to watch after posting bail for God ... • MLB: Boston at Atlanta. This just doesn't seem right somehow. [ESPN] • Arena Football: Chicago at Colorado. Kyle Moore-Brown has been in the AFL for 13 years? That seems like a very long time. [ESPN2] • College baseball: World Series, Arizona State vs. ...

Hey, What Else You Gonna Do With A Full Beer?
Sometimes, when a ballgame at Dodger Stadium is wrapping up, one has no choice but to pour beer on one's self. Fortunately, she can take that famed Chavez Ravine subway home....

Andy Roddick Is Not That Jacked Up
Last week, TMZ pointed out that the new cover of Men's Fitness featured a suspiciously pumped-up Andy Roddick. Well, Roddick himself has chimed in, in that wonderful English we've come to love and expect from our professional tennis players....

Baseball Players Are Athletes
Seriously, what happened to Antonio Alfonseca? He was always big, but ... wow. We suppose you can eat faster when you have six fingers....

Vernon Wells Loves Interacting With His Fans
By now, you might have heard about Vernon Wells signing a baseball for a fan who was heckling him. It's really one of our favorite stories in a while, because it shows a sense of humor from Wells — it was his idea — and it includes a Major League Baseball starting off signing a baseball with the wor...

David Wells Explains It All
Since Bud Selig has hidden himself in a secure, undisclosed location until after Bonds breaks the career home run record, The Quote Machine That Is David Wells is back in action. The Padres' pitcher has a few things to say about Roger Clemens' new contract with the Yankees, specifically the clause t...

Trying To Understand The Illini Car Crash
Now that Illini center Brian Carlwell's condition after Monday's accident in a car driven by teammate Jamar Smith has been upgraded to "fair," we think it's probably OK to look at some of the more bizarre aspects to the crash....

Inside The Awful Illini Car Accident
As most of you have heard by now, two Illinois basketball players — center Brian Carlwell and shooting guard Jamar Smith — were injured in a car accident last night in Champaign. Smith suffered a concussion, but Carlwell is currently listed in critical condition at Carle Foundation Hospital, a hospi...

Funny How All The Corn Is Brown And Dying
If it's October or November, in part of the country that isn't infested with commie pinko postgraduate hippie folk — that is to say, the middle part — the season means one thing: Corn mazes!...

Notes From The "Underground"
We would like to take a moment to salute commenters Christ Sabo (who first posited the idea) and twoeightnine (for his brilliant, terrifying designs), along with the rest of you — we particularly liked this MDT post — for your mad, breathtaking work on the ESPN Radio "underground" email from yesterd...

Sprewell Is Apparently Obsessed With This Choking Thing
Despite his brief resurgence with the Knicks a few years ago, it's obvious that Latrell Sprewell was never quite the same after his famous choking incident with coach P.J. Carlesimo in 1997. Before that, Sprewell was a hot-headed slasher on a team nobody paid attention to. After that, he was Everyth...

Drew Henson, Man Of Many Ugly Hats
Has there ever been an athlete more consistently overconsidered, for such an extended period of time, as Drew Henson? The guy has been all potential, zero performance; he's Ryan Leaf, except he did it in two sports ... and he wasn't very good in college either....

With Nothing Between Sanity And Madness But A Thin Layer of Polyester
In truth, Kellia Ramares is dangerously obsessed. The middle-aged woman from Berkeley, Calif. has an unlikely fixation on Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes, in a way that prompted us recently to purchase an extra deadbolt for our back door, for no real tangible reason, just because. But as Ramar...

The David Wells Mad Lib
Obviously, David Wells — as evidenced by his appearance on the waiver wire in just about every fantasy league we're in — is much more useful as a quote machine these days than as an actual baseball player. And he's never more amusing than when he's being edited to suit the taste of the delicate ne...

Revisiting All The Old Records
Either New Yorker and "The Tipping Point" author Malcolm Gladwell is just angry because Barry Bonds is the only human who might actually have a bigger head than he does, or he might actually be onto something. Gladwell, who says "Game Of Shadows" is "a death sentence for Bonds," suggests hiring a ...