well Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Baseball Players Are Athletes
Seriously, what happened to Antonio Alfonseca? He was always big, but ... wow. We suppose you can eat faster when you have six fingers....

Vernon Wells Loves Interacting With His Fans
By now, you might have heard about Vernon Wells signing a baseball for a fan who was heckling him. It's really one of our favorite stories in a while, because it shows a sense of humor from Wells — it was his idea — and it includes a Major League Baseball starting off signing a baseball with the wor...

David Wells Explains It All
Since Bud Selig has hidden himself in a secure, undisclosed location until after Bonds breaks the career home run record, The Quote Machine That Is David Wells is back in action. The Padres' pitcher has a few things to say about Roger Clemens' new contract with the Yankees, specifically the clause t...

Trying To Understand The Illini Car Crash
Now that Illini center Brian Carlwell's condition after Monday's accident in a car driven by teammate Jamar Smith has been upgraded to "fair," we think it's probably OK to look at some of the more bizarre aspects to the crash....

Inside The Awful Illini Car Accident
As most of you have heard by now, two Illinois basketball players — center Brian Carlwell and shooting guard Jamar Smith — were injured in a car accident last night in Champaign. Smith suffered a concussion, but Carlwell is currently listed in critical condition at Carle Foundation Hospital, a hospi...

Funny How All The Corn Is Brown And Dying
If it's October or November, in part of the country that isn't infested with commie pinko postgraduate hippie folk — that is to say, the middle part — the season means one thing: Corn mazes!...

Notes From The "Underground"
We would like to take a moment to salute commenters Christ Sabo (who first posited the idea) and twoeightnine (for his brilliant, terrifying designs), along with the rest of you — we particularly liked this MDT post — for your mad, breathtaking work on the ESPN Radio "underground" email from yesterd...

Sprewell Is Apparently Obsessed With This Choking Thing
Despite his brief resurgence with the Knicks a few years ago, it's obvious that Latrell Sprewell was never quite the same after his famous choking incident with coach P.J. Carlesimo in 1997. Before that, Sprewell was a hot-headed slasher on a team nobody paid attention to. After that, he was Everyth...

Drew Henson, Man Of Many Ugly Hats
Has there ever been an athlete more consistently overconsidered, for such an extended period of time, as Drew Henson? The guy has been all potential, zero performance; he's Ryan Leaf, except he did it in two sports ... and he wasn't very good in college either....

With Nothing Between Sanity And Madness But A Thin Layer of Polyester
In truth, Kellia Ramares is dangerously obsessed. The middle-aged woman from Berkeley, Calif. has an unlikely fixation on Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes, in a way that prompted us recently to purchase an extra deadbolt for our back door, for no real tangible reason, just because. But as Ramar...

The David Wells Mad Lib
Obviously, David Wells — as evidenced by his appearance on the waiver wire in just about every fantasy league we're in — is much more useful as a quote machine these days than as an actual baseball player. And he's never more amusing than when he's being edited to suit the taste of the delicate ne...

Revisiting All The Old Records
Either New Yorker and "The Tipping Point" author Malcolm Gladwell is just angry because Barry Bonds is the only human who might actually have a bigger head than he does, or he might actually be onto something. Gladwell, who says "Game Of Shadows" is "a death sentence for Bonds," suggests hiring a ...

David Wells: More Fun Than Should Be Allowed
How great is it, honestly, to have David Wells around? We're almost sorry to see the Red Sox pitcher come back from that knee injury, because it means he'll be busy again. And we've learned that an idle David Wells is an entertaining David Wells — it's kind of like if Gary Busey all of a sudden sh...

At Last, Bill Simmons Emerges Victorious
After resounding losses to Isiah Thomas and Mark Cuban, Simmons has scored his first win in our Curious Guy fight series....

Who Would Win In A Fight: Bill Simmons or Malcolm Gladwell?
After what had been a considerable hiatus, our boy Bill Simmons is cranking out his Curious Guy segments like crazy these days. We had David Stern just a week ago, and now, punching back in his weight class, he banters with "The Tipping Point" author Malcolm Gladwell for, let's see, 5,000 words .....

Is Baseball's Top Shoulder Doc OK?
Buried in a Houston Chronicle story about Jeff Bagwell's rehab of his right shoulder was this disturbing tidbit:...

Athlete Run-In: David Wells' Special Talent
Today's first athlete run-in story is a brief one, but it's our favorite kind, because it involves David Wells and beer. Three beers, in fact. From a Cleveland reader:...

Giants Owner Wellington Mara Dies
Longtime Giants owner — and just about the only sports owner we can ever remember professing affection for, if just because he was old and spindly — Wellington Mara has died at the age of 89. Mara was one of the most influential owners in sports history, pioneering the notion of sharing television...

The Deprogramming of David Wells
It's a sad day when Boston fathead David Wells is turned into a Stepford Drone, but it has happened. On Monday, Wells blasted commissioner Bud Selig and essentially accused him of covering up the Rafael Palmeiro steroid bust, which, frankly, the rest of us all think too. But once Wells left his em...

Wells Gets Detention, Call Home to Parents
After his pissed-off comments Monday, Boston pitcher David Wells has been sent to the principal's office. Wells, who blasted commissioner Bud Selig and accused him of covering up steroid results, was summoned to New York to chat with baseball brass. Interestingly enough, Selig himself is unlikely ...