what Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tiger's Porn Mistress Claims Golfer Was Not A Fan Of Contraception
Veronica Siwik-Daniels a.k.a "Joslyn James" a.k.a. "Mistress #4,567" claims Tiger impregnated her twice during their earnest love-making sessions in Vegas hotel rooms. However, Radar reports she's a horrible, untrustworthy mom so you should be skeptical of her abortion stories....

Jayson Williams Probably Shouldn't Leave The House
The former Nets center, who is free on bail awaiting a new trial stemming from that messy dead limo driver situation, was accused of drunkenly driving his SUV into a tree last night around 3:15 a.m by (karma) police. [NYP]...

Gilbert Arenas And Teammate In Gun Standoff (UPDATE)
It's barely 2010 and already this year has exceeded my expectations: Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas reportedly drew a fucking gun on teammate Javaris Crittenton, who did likewise. From the NY Post:...

Pat Riley Preferred to Parcel Out Looks of Disdain
Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra dubbed himself "Santa Spo" and "presented players with a vocabulary calendar and the book The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy." Merry ... Christmas? [Miami Herald]...

Which Former NBA Star Had An Affair With Some Guy Malcolm Gladwell Met At A Party?
And no, it is not the guy in the picture, I am fairly certain. But the beauty of Malcolm Gladwell is, I now know who Adonal Foyle is!...

And You Thought VORP Was Confusing
Someone much smarter than me uses something called Bayesian inference to argue that umpires ought to give a wider strike zone to pitchers with reputations. Any nerd commenters want to explain this to the rest of us? [Baseball Analysts]...

Watch This, Then Go Check Your Water Supply For Drugs
No words...They should have sent a poet....

Why Are So Many Quarterbacks Kicking So Much Ass? Jamboroo, Week 9
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Somehow, The Chilled Afterlife Of Ted Williams Manages To Get Weirder
Workers at Alcor, the cryonics lab where the frozen leftovers of Ted Williams are being preserved in liquid nitrogen, allegedly decapitated the Splendid Splinter and mutilated his head with a monkey wrench. There goes the greatest sentence ever written....

"What-If" The "What-If"
Steroids steroids steroids, you crazy son of a bitch. What have you gone and done now? You've made Gene Wojciechowski write this little bit of insanity....

I Hope Your Team Wins At Sports This Weekend!
Thank you for letting me play in your sandbox today. I have no idea what any of you are talking about! That being said, you dudes were great. I hope it's not awkward when we run into each other later!...

Vin Scully Talks A Lot, Science Proves
The quants at the Wall Street Journal, continuing their whimsical efforts to reduce the sporting universe to a ranked list, have scientifically determined which of our baseball broadcasters is the chattiest. And, somehow, it isn't Michael Kay....

Matt Ryan Is A Handsome Man, Science Proves
The screeching teenyboppers at the Wall Street Journal bring word that Matt Ryan is the most knee-meltingly dreamy quarterback in the NFL. It's true because science says so. And believe it or not, this actually sort of matters....

The Summer Of Our Discontent
Pretty soon, this will all be over. No more loping around idly on Saturdays and Sundays. No more wandering outside and soaking in the sun. No more posts about the Tomatina. It's almost football season!...

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
Apologies for taking the Lord's name in vain in the headline, readers, but this is some serious backchannel craziness the Eagles just pulled off. With all the possible destinations for Michael Vick, even in the strictly hypothetical, UFL sense.......

Even LeBron's High School Keepsakes Are Worth A Fortune
Every high school phenom has a scrapbook of yellowing newspaper clips in his attic, readily available for reminiscing about the glory days. It's unusual, though, for someone else to collect those mementos and sell them for $250,000 on eBay....

Sometimes This World Is A Horrible Place To Live
ESPN's official comment on the Erin Andrews situation is this: "Erin has been grievously wronged here. Our people and resources are in full support of her as she deals with this abhorrent act." Mine is after the jump....

Mutton Wins Again
Is there a bigger mismatch out there than little children vs. surly mutton? Seriously. They're like the Washington Generals on sheepback. Look, kids. Hang it up. You just aren't going to ride that mutton....

Robert Lunn Leaves Austria With His Dignity (Mostly) Intact
Robert Lunn is a former defensive tackle from UConn. He graduated in 2008 and was playing professional football in Pörtschach, Austria. Sadly, he's back in the U.S. now, so this is his final column....

David Beckham Deserves An Imaginary Nobel Peace Prize
"If [he] had spoken out about Iraq it wouldn't have happened," said Jon McClure, frontman of the The Reverend and The Makers, of Becks. "Or Britain certainly wouldn't have got involved." So that's what The Beckham Experiment is about. [PA]...