what Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Noun. 1.) A Generalized Loss Of Feeling In The Testicles 2.) Roger Clemens
With Erin Andrews frolicking around backstage, who could blame eventual grand champion of the spelling world Sameer Mishra to let loose a little Freudian slip? How else is he supposed to sublimate that sexual energy? Rub your finger on your hand any harder and it's playing with yourself....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after winning your groundbreaking fart lawsuit ... • NBA: Western Conference semifinals, Game 6, New Orleans at San Antonio (9 p.m., ET). Spurs change tactics, say that this time they will try. [ESPN] • NHL: Eastern Conference finals, Game 4, Pittsburgh at Philadelphia (7:30 p.m., ET)....
Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?
Remember when Dywane Wade was everybody's favorite athlete? Humble, freakishly talented, good to his family, an All-American guy. So ... what happened?...
Well, That Was A Fun Day
Let it be known that as enjoyable as it was to substitute "edit" Deadspin the day after all hell broke loose on HBO, it is not without its drawbacks. Like, for example, I have no idea what happened in any actual sports news today. But I do appreciate the tips, the opinions, the mash-ups, the well-wi...
1st Round, Fifteenth Overall: Chiefs Select Branden Albert
Oh God. The Lions made a trade. Carl Peterson dangled a shiny object in front of Matt Millen, and now we all have to adjust. This Brandon Albert blog entry will be written in four styles: dense football scouting jargon, lyrically idiotic Jamie Dukes banter, Thomas the Tank Engine narration, and fin...
1st Round, Third Overall: Falcons Select Matty Ice
The Falcons wish to remain anonymous. After a year of dog torturing and climb-out-the bathroom-window coach quitting, the team would like to return to the quiet old days when David Archer was the quarterback and the average crowd rivaled the turnout on the Asia reunion tour. They hired someone name...
Danica Patrick No Longer A Pretty Girl Who Can't Win Races
It feels like it took longer than Phil Mickelson's first major, but the petite open-wheeled racer finally reached the checkered flag before a bunch of chauvinistic war-starting toilet-seat-leaving-up booze-crazed horndogs in Japan this weekend, becoming the first female to win a major auto racing ev...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man
The Visitor's Locker Room compares Green to a legendary infomercial pitchman, but I've always enjoyed this guy... ...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Carl Eller Doesn't Know How Fast He Was Driving
Last week, Daulerio gave you a few tips on how to make it through a potential DUI stop. Former Minnesota Vikings Hall of Famer Carl Eller has a new one, one we hadn't considered: Simply punching the police officer in the face....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
It's Still Not As Dangerous As A Typical Eagles Game
Please bear with me if you've seen this before; any time I see something this large and angry go into the stands that isn't Ron Artest, I must post it. Three things of note here: 1. Love the three guys sitting under the little overhang in the middle there, safe from harm in the stadium's finest lux...
Um, Maybe We Should Just Skip The Olympic Torch This Time
Well, that didn't take long. They were still flicking the cigarette lighter in preparation of lighting the Olympic Torch today in Greece when a protester crashed the ceremony, with what looks like a pirate flag. A rousing start on the 84-day journey in which the torch will pass through several locat...
Things That Draw In Denver When Attendance Is Dead
As you may or may not know (probably the latter) the Denver Nuggets and Colorado Avalanche aren't doing so well from a financial standpoint. Hell, the Broncos have already begun downsizing. For some reason the city of Denver isn't stuffing enough cash into the coffers of their pro franchises. Of cou...
ESPN Has An Northeast Coast Bias? What?
OK, I suppose one could say that we've been guilty of trotting out more than a fair share of Yankees, Mets and Red Sox posts over any given season (although we also have some Rick Ankiel and Barry Bonds posts we'd like you to meet). But ESPN takes its Northeast favoritism to an entire new level (lik...