A man named T.K. Klotz appeared on Wheel of Fortune tonight, and apparently put on his contestant questionnaire that he's recently engaged. Show host Pat Sajak brought up the "woman who agreed to marry" Klotz during the introductions; no, no, that's not right.

I am a Thought Leader of Television, and so I've been asked to ruminate on the Big News that Jeopardy!—yeah! the exclamation point! is officially part of the title!—beat Wheel of Fortune in the ratings a coupla weeks ago, the first time in over a decade, and is this perhaps an indicator that maybe America is trending…

I mean, look, some people are just always going to associate the shore with boozing. It's not their fault everyone else isn't partying as hard as they are.

Dammit, Julian. His opportunity for $1 million was right there, but he couldn't pronounce "Achilles."

Emil had little help in the Bonus Puzzle of tonight's episode of Wheel of Fortune, with none of his guessed letters showing up. Only two of the provided letters popped up, too. But somehow, Emil still solved it on his first guess, winning $45,000 and stunning host Pat Sajak.

A contestant on last night's episode of Wheel Of Fortune professed her love for Chicago sports, namely the Bulls and Bears. She is, to a lesser extent, also a fan of the White Sox rather than the Cubs. This pleases Pat Sajak, who is just as confused by the new mascot as the rest of us.

Oh, this poor, poor, well-dressed man.

A $1 million prize was added to Wheel of Fortune in 2008, but it's only been won once since then, because it's really freaking hard to do.

This O-Pee-Chee Crosby card, from the 11/12 set, was released last August. But apparently not until this weekend did someone notice that Pat Sajak is just chilling in the background—"someone" being Pat Himself.

Last Friday, a Wheel of Fortune contestant solved a prize puzzle with only one letter on the board. The internet exploded with astonishment and conspiracy theories. Esquire's Chris Jones—who's written about phenomenal game-show performances before—broke it down on his blog.