whimsy Page 114 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's A Hat! It's A Hearing Aid! It's A Utensil!
A site we'd never heard of but are now addicted to called Patently Silly takes a look at all the ridiculous "inventions" that receive patents from the goverment. Recently, they featured. something called "Multi-Purpose Headgear", from a company called Sportniks. What are the multi purposes of this...
Defending Mr. Cooper
So we've been thinking about the $500,000 bond required of the victimized Mike Cooper, and we did a little search through Google News for some comparisons....
The Canadian Hide-And-Seek Team
We're not sure where this is from — we haven't nailed it down yet — but here's a funny prank, explained by the reader who sent it to us:...
Carl Monday Will Have You Locked In Jail With The Key Thrown Away
A commenter brought this up yesterday, but we still cannot believe it: Mike Cooper, the 23-year-old dreamer with the sad misfortune of unleashing his lonely penis within a four-mile radius of Carl Monday, is being held on $500,000 bond after his arrest for indecency charges. You heard that correct...
BREAKING: If That's Wrong, We Don't Want To Be Right!
This just in: You really don't want to mess with Carl Monday....
You Know, He Could Be Behind You ... RIGHT NOW!
An ingenious reader put this together, the first Dilbert parody we've ever found amusing....
Let's Go Buckeyes! Yeah!
As we continue to sift through the rubble of last Thursday — a day we are perfectly comfortable with commemorating with the "Deadspin Festivus" moniker, from now into eternity — we check in again on Carl Monday, who, as always, reminds us to ask, "Are our libraries a beacon of light ... or a cessp...
I Will Joust You With My Finger, Bitch.
It's very sadly missing from the Sunday TV sports lineup, but there is a hot new sport on the horizon. It's called Finger Jousting, and it's sweeping the... okay, it's not sweeping the nation or anything else. But they do have a website. So that's step one. Here's how the sport works:...
Your All-Time Best Mascot Winner
A while back, we put together a list of the wimpiest and most unusual nicknames and mascots in sports. But earlier today, a reader sent us the team that's pretty much the hands-down winner. The Rhode Island School Of Design NADS....
Just Another Manic Monday
Before the week runs its course and we head into our pleasant weekend of barbecues and hangovers, we just wanted to once again salute the genius of CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Carl Monday, who continues to blow the lid of the cottage "jerking off in a library to get away from one's terrifyi...
What Not To Do On A Trampoline
To distract you from the apparently false Neil Everett rumor below, here's that trampoline basketball injury that, we agree, desperately needed its own post. Honestly, we're so glad our parents didn't have a trampoline growing up, because this totally would have happend to us....
The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day
So a local television station in Cleveland decided to put together an "investigative report" on the dangers of allowing your children to go to the public library....
Pat Robertson Could Destroy You With His Legs
A couple of days ago, we noted that CBS Sportsline's SPIN columnist Clay Travis had dug up a claim that Pat Robertson had leg-pressed 2,000 pounds. (Unlike what we wrote then, the Florida state leg-press record is 1,335, not 665; we had that wrong. Sorry.) This was, of course, ridiculous, right? T...
Searching For SpongeBob
If the movies have taught us anything, it's that Alcatraz is escape-proof. That's because of the frigid, shark-infested mile-and-a-half of San Francisco Bay that's between the notorious former federal prison and the city of San Francisco. If you're a 1940s goon, hood, mobster, mug, ruffian, thug, ...
Football, The Anime Way
Inspired by our scary Japanese baseball video yesterday, the gang at The Postmen dug up this apparent Japanese anime instructional video for how to play the game of American football....
Pat Robertson Is The Strongest Man Alive
CBS Sportsline's SPIN columnist Clay Travis points out the following dubious claim, as professed on noted televangelist Pat Robertson on his Web site:...
The Bond Between Man And Beer, Let No One Break Asunder
Eat your heart out, Zack Hample. The ultimate collector of baseballs has nothing on an unnamed man in Ogden, Utah, who drank an estimated 24 beers a day for eight years, and never threw away any of the cans. When a realtor tried to enter the man's townhouse recently, he found that he had trouble o...
Your Wimpy Nickname Suggestions
Yesterday, we solicited your thoughts on the least intimidating team nicknames, and judging from the fact that it was our most commented post of all time, it's safe to say that you had some thoughts on the matter. Here are our favorites, though we're still not sure anything can beat our Fisher Bun...
Why Your Team Isn't Named "The Cute Cuddly Animals"
Where we grew up, in the humble burg of Mattoon, Illinois, there was a small town nearby called Fisher. The town was tiny, but large enough to have a piddly little high school. The nickname for the school's sports teams: The Fisher Bunnies. It was difficult to be too intimidated....
The Father, The Son And The Half Nelson
We're not sure this directly relates to sports, but it's close enough for government work: We proudly introduce you to the Christian Wrestling Federation. (Thanks to this probably isn't worth your time for the heads up.)...